New Secretary of State John Kerry greeted employees at Foggy Bottom on his first day of work this morning by thanking them for his new liberation.
“Thank God I had a couple of photo IDs so I could get in,” Kerry said. “I have to tell you, I liked my cubicle over there in transition corner. But I cannot tell you how great it feels to, sort of, be liberated to know that I actually get to explore the whole building now. So I’ve been freed. I’m the first person you guys freed today. This is pretty good.”
Kerry actually got to work over the weekend, making phone calls to Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas and Israeli President Shimon Peres in an effort to restart the peace process.
Kerry warned State Department employees that if he’s aimlessly wandering around the building and wanders into their offices, “it’s not because I’m there for a meeting. It’s because I’m lost and I need directions.”
He said the greatest question facing the diplomatic arm after the past eight years is “can a man actually run the State Department?”
“I have big heels to fill,” he quipped.
“I think it is beyond fair to say that this president’s vision and what he has implemented through your efforts over the course of the last years without any question has restored America’s reputation and place in the world,” Kerry continued. “…I also understand how critical it is that you have someone there advocating for you. The dangers could not be more clear. We’re reminded by the stars and names on the wall, and we are particularly reminded by Chris Stevens and Glen Doherty and Tyrone Woods and Sean Smith. And I know everybody here still mourns that loss.”
“So I pledge to you this: I will not let their patriotism and their bravery be obscured by politics, number one,” he said to applause from the assembled staffers. “And I guarantee you that beginning this morning when I report for duty upstairs, everything I do will be focused on the security and safety of our people. There are tough decisions to make, but I guarantee you I’ll do everything I can to live up to the high standards that Secretary Clinton and her team put in place.”
Kerry came prepared for the first day of school with a show-and-tell item: his first diplomatic passport with a photo of an 11-year-old John Kerry inside. He then meandered into stories of travels with his diplomat father, including wandering into the Russian sector of Berlin.
“In fact, I was thinking about it the other day. If the tabloids today knew I had done that, I can see the headlines that say, ‘Kerry’s Early Communist Connections,’” he said. “But, that’s the world we live in, folks.”
“But that was a great adventure. And I will tell you, 57 years later, today, this is another great adventure.”
The State Dept. tweeted this morning that Kerry will start tweeting from the account by signing his initials “JK” to his personal tweets. In tweet shorthand, JK more commonly means “just kidding.”
“And I guarantee you that beginning this morning when I report for duty upstairs, everything I do will be focused on the security and safety of our people. There are tough decisions to make, but I guarantee you I’ll do everything I can to live up to the high standards that Secretary Clinton and her team put in place.”
B-B-BWAHAHAHA!
You didn’t need a diplomatic passport to wander into the Russian section of Berlin.
As for ‘the high standards that Secretary Clinton and her team put in place’, such a promise shouldn’t inspire confidence in too many people. He’s really setting the bar kinda low.
Good luck with that.
“Kerry actually got to work over the weekend, making phone calls to Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas and Israeli President Shimon Peres in an effort to restart the peace process.”
So, one more fool on a fool’s errand trying to put some of the evil back into Pandora’s jar eh? He’d do well to study history – specifically that of the palestinian people. Where they came from – how they got the name ‘palestinian’ – and most importantly – who was in Israel first. I bet he doesn’t even know what every palestinian kids knows – that the letter and sound of ‘P’ is found nowhere in the arabic language and alphabet.
Swiftboat Veterans Ad on John Kerry – Sellout (2004)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phqOuEhg9yE
Allow me to paraphrase a quote from the great Matthau-Lemon movie Out to Sea: “I feel so much better. We have a funny Secretary of State!”
“It’s because I’m lost and I need directions.”
Kind of sums up the entire Obama administration.
Hit! Sunk!
So, does that mean there will be no more movies about the religion of terror?
Or does it mean that we won’t be sending our ambassador (who was a covert ops guy in a prior role) to meet with terrorist all by his lonesome?
Or does it mean that when our guys call for help and are painting targets with a laser, it will be weapons free time on the circling aircraft?
Or does it mean that it is it time to lie in front of congress again?
And just which of the “honourable” Congressmen/women/Senators, Judges would dare in their Confederacy of (shills) Dunces as “made men” and soldiers of the capos in government, confronted with a known liar – as in who actuaully is this “honourable member from Massachusetts John Kerry? – “dare to cast the first stone”?
One more preening imbecile, long on vanity and short on brains added to the Waster-in Chief’s coterie of stooges and yes-men. What’s the biggest challenge in the world facing the most powerful nation in the world? Making peace between Israelis and Palestinians.
God help America. (All 57 states.)
“He then meandered into stories of travels with his diplomat father, including wandering into the Russian sector of Berlin”
You left out the biggest howler of all. Reminiscing about how he rode his bike all around Berlin, including riding it past “Hitler’s tomb”. If a Republican had said that, it would be national news.
Well, he’s a big heel, so that should work out well.
Unless and until the whole truth about this shameful slaughter of Americans is known across this nation, Kerry cannot promise to ‘ cure ‘ an ailment that has still not been quantified. Our Department of State is a foreign relations disaster – witness Libya and Egypt where we had hard men that we could talk with and now that we helped depose them, we are dealing with , basically, a no-holds-barred Muslim Brotherhood. This is not progress and the thinly veiled threat to Israel is such that I must wonder why and American Jew voted for the Obama way of doing international business.
maybe, seeing as how he is familiar with all things military,
johnny could put together one of those fancy dictator uniforms for his boss,
the kenyan from chicago, hawaii.
you know the kind, chest full of medals, and one of those really big service caps. perhaps that way, when our people go out in harm’s way, and place urgent
and repeated calls for help, our little pimple in chief will be able to see
his own image in the mirror, and remember he is (unfortunately)
commander in chief of the most powerful and feared military on earth.
i know its a big transition from his past subservient positions at various chicago mens’ clubs, but one must try. maybe he could pretend ‘its for the children’.
Just what the USA needs as Secretary of State; another millionaire, elitist, liberal progressive.
Members of this economic , social and ideological class have succeeded getting the USA into one war after another since 1898 and they will ALWAYS find a reason why some totally senseless conflict on the other side of the planet is important to US national security.
Frankly, the State Dept. should be reduced in size by 85% and a similar elimination of US embassies around the world should be implemented.
The USA needs to cease being the policeman of the world and begin minding it’s own damn business.
Kerry is just your typical elitist, lefty millionaire that never in his entire life had a private sector job.
He is a leech, a parasite, a disease, just like 90 % of the other “workers” in our tyranny of a govt.
Time for states to secede from our tyrannical union.
Man, that’s a big stack of idiots we have there in DC! Me thinks we’re living on borrowed time here in the the good ol USofA?