Photo credit: Olivier Douliery – Pool/Getty Images
President Obama “saved the auto industry” just enough to win Ohio and Michigan on Election Day, but his win means an initial $5 billion loss for taxpayers with the news announced this week that the Treasury Department plans to sell its remaining stake in “Government Motors” back to GM.
However, that $5 billion loss is only for the stock Treasury will sell by the end of this year. It is estimated that when Treasury sells GM back all its remaining stock in 2013 or 2014 the net loss to taxpayers will be $10 billion to $12 billion.
The photo worthy of this caption contest was found in US News from a piece by Rick Newman with the headline, “It’s Official: Taxpayers Will Lose Big on the GM Bailout.” The caption under the photo with Chevrolet spelled “Chevrelot” reads:
President Obama inspects a Chevrelot Silverado during a visit to the DC Auto Show, Jan. 31, 2012 in Washington, D.C. Obama touted his bailout of General Motors and Chrysler three years ago.
Now I am confident that PJ Tatler readers are capable of writing a much better caption and even know how to correctly spell “Chevrolet.”
So start your engines or flip the switch on your Chevy Volt and write one that will help us emotionally recapture some of those billions we all lost while “saving the auto industry.”
If you are a newcomer to our contest, welcome aboard and buckle your seat belt, but please abide by our strict rules which are “be nice and stay classy because the media is watching.”
The winner receives an all-expense paid visit to a “Chevrelot” dealership and upon visiting must say, “What is good for General Motors is good for America.”
(Remember that this famous statement was made back in 1955 by Charlie Wilson, then chairman of General Motors. Now, with the impending net loss of $12 billion U.S. taxpayer dollars it, sure takes on new meaning, especially with President Obama in the driver’s seat.)
Caption:
“What do you mean I was speeding? I only moved this car 8 inches!”
Do you think I paid too much?
“Uh oh. I mistook the gas pedal for the brake pedal.”
caption – “leading or driving, all eyes to the rear”
“Hey, wait a minute! Don’t these things catch on fire?”
Can I drive this from the back-seat?
“Gosh, I don’t think that little hole in the roof is big enough to stuff all the cash in.”
Hmm…GPS says take a right turn here, but I know it’s really a hard left turn to get where I want to go.
Love it!
The President checks out the newest GM model to come off the assembly line:
The Shoves-a-Lot Up-Your-Tailpipe, zero-nighttime-emissions model.
Does this ass make my truck look big?
Where’s the Ditch?
“I don’t need directions, I know exactly where I’m going. To the left, always to the left.”
“Hey, who spilled the Slurpee?”
Destroy the U-S-A
With a Chevrolet
America I’m asking you to fall
“Hey, I never make right turns, always left”
“I don’t care where you want to go, I won so I get to go where I want.”
Chevy Runs Deep (into your pockets!)
Chevy Runs Debt
An old VW ad comes to mind:
Lemon
Can someone shut off Clint Eastwood’s America is Coming Back voiceover? I think I’m going to be sick.
President Obama inspects the new mobile homes most Americans will be living in by the end of his second term
“Is that reality gaining on me?”
“Will this thing outrun Issa?”
“Oh no, I sense another cfbleachers slam coming up fast”
“You mean I get to drive without anyone in the backseat whispering where to go?”
The best so far …
“Will this thing outrun Issa?”
1) The economic outlook reminds me of that old GM slogan….”Like a rock” (sinking).
2) When I look back through the rear view mirror I can see the last four years and…ohhhh….uhhhh….whooooaaahhh….that WAS bad!
3) Some day I’ll be a mature enough adult to learn to drive this thing.
4) Sniff…sniff….do you smell battery acid?
5) As your Commander-in-Chief, I order you to change “D” to “Forward”.
6) No right turns. You do a left turn, then a left turn, then another left turn if you want to go in that direction. Or you can just do one more left turn and end up back where you started. In Washington, DC that’s called progress!
7) Well yeah, the Republicans put the national car into the ditch, and then I flipped it over and set it on fire. That’s why I had my minions at the UAW build me a new one!
8) I just love that new car smell. Oh, what…that was the Choom Gang that was sitting in here earlier? I THOUGHT that smell was familiar!
9) Why yes, I do think it’s justifiable to purchase a product from a union owned and operated business even though it is only half the quality of a car built in a non-union state!
There has to be a “Like Iraq” joke in there somewhere…
Where’s the “FORWARD” button?
“Your Chevy can be any color you want, as long as it’s red.”
– America can’t afford it.
“What … Me Worry?”
The truck’s not the only thing in the Red.
“Sure Mr. Boener, I’ll give you a ride, but you gotta’ sit in the back.”
“What do you mean, it’s already depreciated by half? I just finished signing the paperwork!”
“Hey, baby…wanna go for a ride?”
It’s just like that Batmobile, except it doesn’t fly, can’t dive and the driving autonomy is 6 hours. But hey, at least we got the price right.
“Better Red than dead I always say.”
Uh oh…they’re on to me. Should I bail? [opens door] Nope, Candy Crowley just took a couple of them out – I should be able to keep up the chase another 4 years.
Cliff. Cliff? What cliff? Oh, the fiscal cli……
At least it’s in my favorite color.
Drove my Chevy to DC, but the Treasury was dry.
Hey America, you need a ride? I’m going that way!
Gas, grass, or unreasonable taxes: no one rides for free!
“Wait, what is that drone doing behind us?”
“If this pos had more headroom, I could wear my propeller hat.”
“I built this!”
Warning: Objects in mirror are more liberal than they appear.
Too bad voters didn’t push the ejector seat button.
Who needs air bags with an inflated ego in the car?
“Where’s the teleprompter on this thing?”
“Hey, if nobody buys ‘em, we can always pawn ‘em off on the Post Office.”
No need to ask if the vehicle comes with a gun rack.
“I can go to all 57 states in this thing . . . except Hawaii, of course.”
“These things are great for getting to the unemployment office!”
What is the over/under on the chance this is related to the bankruptcy judge negating the original GM bankruptcy agreement?
– in His Heaven
Ford in his Flivver
Obama in his jalopy
I only drive in limos, suckers! How does this thing work again?
Oooh, there it is. The Cash for Clunkers depot.
1)Caution: Chevrelot Stoodent Driver
2)”I learned this at the Ted Kennedy school of driving. As you approach a bridge or fiscal cliff, let your attention drift away from the road ahead…”
3)”The tires just hit something, was that Susan Rice thrown under there?”
4)Chevre is a goat cheese. Pantysgawn is a Welsh chevre. Based upon his level of courage in defense of Benghazi, Obama’s not Welsh.
5)Chevy runs deep. Not as deep as this administration’s coverups, but deep.
6)The Obamachine. Two self-inflating airbags and an over-inflated windbag.
7)Look honey, a crash course dummy. Dear, it’s called a crash test dummy. Really, have you seen his first four years?
8) The Chevrelot Bailout. You didn’t want to then, but step inside and you will.
9)It comes in fire engine red. It has to, it has doesn’t have an internal combustion engine or an external combustion engine. It has a spontaneous combustion engine.
10)The Volt Repayment Plan. Like a Crock.
FINALLY we hear from you!
I was beginning to wonder if you had been shipped off to re-education camp before our Beloved Leader’s second coming.. oh I mean inaugural.
You know you are a legend when one of the captions references you!
(See #20 third one.)
Yeah, crazy work schedule keeps interfering with my caption writing!
Heck, I haven’t even had time to comment on anyone’s articles for a while. I’ll try to come up with a few more before the judges have to make a decision here though…just to see if I can put those Chinese tires on this self-immolating Volt.
We have a special guest judge for you to impress, Rick Newman the business editor from US News who wrote the piece which included the photo that inspired this contest. He asked me to notify him of the contest winner so I asked him to be the judge. That should be an incentive for even more creative captions from all of you!
“Taking the taxpayer for a ride. I know a good a-spot on da South Side…”
Only the government has a mindset that says I’ll invest in this and that and lets see, a few million or billion $$$ loss on this and that is not to bad investment.
On the other hand if GM is doing so great with billions in cash flow and even great sales projects for the future, why are we taking a blood bath on cashing out?
Oh wow, is that a bathhouse?
“How Could They Ever Elect Me as Their President?”
Keep the windows up! I’ll light the choom.
Racism.
There’s no need to put it in quotations and pretend to intellectual facetiousnes-the President really did save the auto industry. And he also DOES really have your republican congress over a barrel. Watch as he and our Democratic Americans get everything they want from your weak extremist Taliban party of the South.
You can’t afford the tires or gas, but with this baby up on blocks your gonna look damn fine going ‘vroom…. vroom’ in your driveway.
and now for the tag line: “just before your house is foreclosed on.”
Windshield, windshield on the wall;
I’m the bailout you’ve been waiting for.
Caption: A Dolt in a Volt.
Nuff said.
What a buy at only $26 Billion!
Can this be driven from the rear?
Smells like a Vega – burnt rust
What’s the cost in subsidies?
20 miles per 8 hour charge-up? Now we’re gettin’ somewhere!
Wadda ya mean “Rattner built this”? What does HE know about cars?
Uh oh! This really works on coal and we’ve already closed all the mines.
And yer sayin’ that if I ever get in an accident I’ll get 600 lbs of battery acid on me?
President “Rainman” says ” I’m a really good driver ,yeahhhh”!
A weak car you say? Though it accompanies my weak chin so well!
Does this American made steering wheel make my skinny, hairless girly arms look at all masculine?
1)Barack Obama, a leader for whom every glance at the future he has built us… is Mayan Calendar Day in a Chevy Volt.
2)The Chevy Volt, the Entitlement Car. Chevy…You built us, he billed us, we bilked you.
3)”Hey look. There goes Joe Biden on Harley with that biker chick.” Chevy Volt, the heartbeat away of America.
4)First came the Volt. Then came the Re-Volt. GM decided not to pay what they owe the government. And what’s good enough for GM…is good enough for America. Go Galt.
5)What do you do when a Socialist builds a car for you that sets itself on fire and he asks you to drive it? Yugo.
Re- volt! Love that!
Introducing . . . the Chevy Dolt.
1)Obamacar default, it’s not a tax, it’s a penalty
2)”This model comes with a CD player that only plays my speeches, that way when it sets itself on fire, you might decide to stay in the car and just be done with it”
3)Four more gears, four more gears!
4)Enough trunk space to run 150 guns at a time across the border, because we want druglords to have them. Not Americans…that’s not our style, but gangbangers in other countries.
5)Chevy tough…is kinda like Joe Biden smart.
(I like the visual efect of the photo, which brings another one:)
Between my administration and GM, there are no spiderwebs attached.
“What were those ‘Bumps in the Road’ I just ran over? Oh, just the economy…and the Constitution. No big deal.”
Watching the old America fade away in the rear view mirror.
Seatbelt? I don’ need no steenkin’ seatbelt.
12 billion and this is it?
“Chevrolet,
You didn’t build this. I did.
(But don’t call me a narcissist).”
5 billion and i don’t get undercoating with it?