The 7 Worst Democratic Ads of 2012
The 2012 election season has produced a bumper crop of pro-Democratic advertisements that are so insulting, juvenile, creepy, violent, obscene, self-defeating and unintentionally counter-productive that just based on these ads alone Romney deserves to win.
Have the Democrats lost their minds? Judging from these seven pro-Obama ads, they haven’t just lost their minds, but their souls too.
If you know any remaining independent undecideds waiting for some advertisement to tell them how to vote, sit them down for ten minutes to watch these seven spots, and I guarantee they’ll not only vote Romney but spend the rest of today volunteering for the Republicans.
If you’ve been a news junkie these last couple weeks then you’ve likely seen all of these before, but for posterity’s sake I’ve gathered them all together in one place so that, whatever the outcome today, historians can pinpoint the moment that politics died.
1. Murdering Republicans Is Funny!
It’s impossible to go any lower than this. Romney voters are gleefully massacred due to their political beliefs, which apparently render them inhuman, therefore allowing liberals to kill them without compunction. Watch and laugh as Republicans are beheaded, shot, blown to smithereens, and have their hearts carved out with chainsaws. If that wasn’t bad enough, all this carnage is enacted by a cast of racist stereotypes.
Needless to say, if a conservative had made an ad like this, he’d be in jail now.
2. Obscene Grannies Threaten to “Cockpunch” Romney Right in the Nutsack
Liberal nonprofit MoveOn.org hired Michael Moore to make this painfully unfunny anti-Romney ad, featuring foul-mouthed grannies threatening to “burn this motherfucker down” if Romney wins and then to “cockpunch” Romney “right in the nutsack.” Presumably, someone, somewhere, read the script for this piece and then saw the rough cut and actually thought it was humorous. And politically effective.
Actually, it is quite effective, but not quite in the way the makers intended. I tried to describe this ad to my own Democratic-voting mother (who doesn’t have a computer), and she absolutely refused to believe that such an ad could exist. So I brought my laptop over to her house and showed her the ad as proof that my description was accurate; she was so repulsed and offended that she announced afterward that she wasn’t going to vote this year because she didn’t want to be associated with that kind of language. Thank you, MoveOn!
3. Voting for Obama Is Like F*cking Obama
This is easily the most famous of the atrocious advertisements, and has already been dissected ad nauseam by talk show panelists and late-night comedians. Some new TV star named Lena Dunham (I assume it’s a girl, though it could pass for a 12-year-old boy) compares voting for Obama to losing your virginity. But the ad crosses the line from obscene to insane because the person you’re losing your virginity to is… Obama.
1952′s “I Like Ike” has given way to 2012′s “I Want to F*ck Barack.”
4. Talking Vagina Announces the End of Feminism
“A vote for Obama is a vote for me: Vagina 2012.”
40 years of women’s rights and feminist theory wiped away in just 145 seconds. Apparently the old joke was correct: A woman is just a life-support system for a p*ssy.
To quote Ed Morrissey, “The marvel of this is that anyone — and I mean anyone — thinks this is an effective way to make a political argument.”
5. Chorus of Robotic Children Sing Funereal Mass Accusation
This ad was so heinous and so widely disliked that it was actually taken offline by its creators, “The Future Children Project,” after backfiring spectacularly:
The ad, which received heaps of scorn here as well, was nearly universally lambasted by critics. It was the personal project of Jeff Goodby and Rich Silverstein, the founders of Goodby Silverstein and Partners in San Francisco.
The ad went viral quickly, mainly due to universal scorn and a slight resemblance to the children of the corn….
It wasn’t just that the kids resembled alien zombies from a horror film, it’s that the whole vibe was strongly reminiscent of the Hitler Youth, mashed up with hilariously awkward lyrics pointing the finger of blame at any adults who violate various liberal tropes:
Imagine an America
Where strip mines are fun and free
Where gays can be fixed
And sick people just die
And oil fills the seaWe don’t have to pay for freeways!
Our schools are good enough
Give us endless wars
On foreign shores
And lots of Chinese stuffWe’re the children of the future
American through and through
But something happened to our country
And we’re kinda blaming youWe haven’t killed all the polar bears
But it’s not for lack of trying
Big Bird is sacked
The Earth is cracked
And the atmosphere is fryingCongress went home early
They did their best we know
You can’t cut spending
With elections pending
Unless it’s welfare doughWe’re the children of the future
American through and through
But something happened to our country
And we’re kinda blaming youFind a park that is still open
And take a breath of poison air
They foreclosed your place
To build a weapon in space
But you can write off your au pairIt’s a little awkward to tell you
But you left us holding the bag
When we look around
The place is all dumbed down
And the long term’s kind of a dragWe’re the children of the future
American through and through
But something happened to our country
And yeah, we’re blaming youYou did your best
You failed the testMom and Dad
We’re blaming you!
Luckily, I was able to find a version still available online (thanks to commenter Rev. R. Farrier for the tip!), which is why you’re able to watch it here despite the producers’ attempt to flush it down the memory hole.
6. Will Ferrell Tries to Make Obama Ad, Ends Up Mocking Celebrity Obama Endorsements
The first time I watched this, I thought it was a satire making fun of celebrity endorsements. I was shocked to discover that it’s actually an official Obama campaign ad uploaded by BarackObamadotcom.
What went wrong? One must unpack layer upon layer of self-referential postmodern irony to decipher this clip, but this is what I think happened: Will Ferrell was asked to make an Obama ad, and agreed, but knew at some level that celebrity endorsements are essentially shallow and intellectually insulting, so he unconsciously transitioned into a schtick persona of a moronic celebrity (named Will Ferrell) making a vacuous and pointless ad for an uninspiring politician (Obama) with no record worth mentioning. This is not a sincere endorsement: This is a comedy act savagely mocking celebrities who think their opinions are worth a dime. And yet neither Ferrell nor the Obama team seem to grasp that they ended up ridiculing themselves.
7. Kids Lucky Not to Have Been Aborted Want to Get…Abortions
Speaking of unselfconscious irony, this ad proves once and for all that progressives have absolutely no self-awareness. The piece features a series of young girls addressing their pro-choice liberal moms, begging them to vote for the one candidate (Obama) who will ensure that when these girls grow up, they will have the right to abort their own daughters. Say…what? There are ways to make a pro-choice argument, but this is not one of them. The very worst technique to argue for abortion is to focus on how cute and precious living children are. But to then use them as spokesbabies advocating for the right to abort the next generation? It’s beyond the pale. I’m pretty pro-choice myself and even I was sick to my stomach after watching this.
Runners-Up:
If you know of any other ads which you think merit inclusion on this list, post them in the comments section below.
I knew you were would do a post like this. I was waiting for it. But you for got the ad featuring Mitt Romney’s garbage man: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_x3cGRa_tU
Must remember to have coffee before posting comments first thing in the morning.
Added as a link in a update at the end. Thx!
#4 could be reused for an “Overturn the 19th Amendment!” movement. Mmmm, also #3, and #7, too, now that I think of it.
It’s so insulting that people think I’m going to use a “Lady Part” other than my brain to decide who to vote for. All those jokes, all those years, about men thinking with the wrong head and liberals think it’s “equality” when women are able to do the same? Oy.
I know I’m not saying anything new, I’m just chiming in late.
That’s OK, it’s pretty much what I was thinking, too.
The Lena Dunham/first time and the talking vagina ads were plain creepy. But that singing “Children-of-the-Corn” ad was like something straight out of North Korea. A Romanian emigre whom I work with told me it reminded him of Romania during the Ceauscescu regime. And what a bogus song! How many 10-year-olds know what an au pair is? (wait – excuse me: probably quite a few of them sired by lib/prog parents who employ au pairs to take care of their kids while they’re away at their government or academic sinecures).
Killing conservatives? Why should anyone be surprised;inside every liberal is a homicidal stalinist commissar,seeking to impose his virulent utopia by murder.Just look at how they lickspittle marxist murderers like Castro-they love him, because they envy his ability to kill.Remember thjat life imitates art,or in thi case, propaganda.That’s why every conservative should have an assault rifle and the training to use it:as insurance against the homicidal filth that constitutes the base of the democrat party.
C’mon Zombie;
You know these aren’t “democratic”; They’re DEMOCRAT.
BIG DIFFERENCE.
No, they own these ads, since they made them, so it’s more than appropriate and even more cutting to use the Democrat’s own preferred self-descriptor.
When it comes to adjectives, the people on the left always prefer “Democratic” to refer to themselves; the people on the right sometimes use “Democrat” as a indicator of disapproval. If I used “Democrat” it would look like I was trying to put them down or acribe to them something they don’t want or deserve. But in this case: The did indeed make the ads, they’re proud of the ads, so it’s even more effective to sully their preferred adjective by associating the ads with the term “Democratic.”
Point taken.
Romney is such a Dork.
An uptight nerd of a starched shirt goodie two-shoes white-boy…
If some outside group he didnt control created ads like this in some misguided effort to “support” his candidacy, I could actually SEE him publicly condemning it, and apologizing to everyone who was offended by such CLASSLES vulgarities…
And THAT’S why I vote for Dorks.
Interesting take on dorks. As a career-long tech worker, I have an affinity for dorks myself, especially since they are the ones paying an ever greater proportion of wages in our country. I’ll take any of a band of dorks over any of the faux rebels of the indulgent Choomer Gang.
http://adland.tv/adnews/future-children-project-pro-obama-childrens-choir-has-been-pulled/1351880671
Found a link to a working copy of the Future Children ad.
Nice! I should have noticed that myself (I went to that page when writing the post), but I have this Flash-blocker plug-in and didn’t notice that they had their own version of the video! But anyway, I have now managed to embed it in the post, and updated the text (after the lyrics) to give a hat tip to you:
– reelected, Californecrosis won’t notice any difference.
#1 Notice the PLO scarf at 1:58?
This is quite amazing. Don’t have TV, so I’m a little stunned right now…
I dunno, where to begin… Paul Ryan pushing grandma over the cliff was pretty bad. The one where Mitt Romney killed that guy’s wife with cancer comes to mind as a pretty bad ad. The Dems have been so nasty and dishonest this year, it’s hard to narrow down the list of their worst ads.
The Zombie ad was from 2008, but still every liberal wishes he could kill a conservative when it comes down to it. Remember that Bill Ayers wanted to either re-educate or KILL 20-28 million Americans should he ever come to power. If you scratch Obama you will find another mild-mannered college professor, Pol Pot…
No, it’s not from 2008. It was actually produced and uploaded at the end of 2011 for the 2012 election. Listen starting at 1:45:
“Let’s show the public how scary it will be if Republicans take the White House in 2012.”
It was made before Romney won the primaries, but it is still a 2012 election ad.
Zombie,
The Zombie ad was used during the 2008 campaign, it’s that old. It may have been updated but it has been around for a while. That being said, you are correct with the others.
Show me a link of it from 2008 and I’ll believe. Perhaps you’re thinking of a similar but different ad from back then?
How could they have “updated” it throughout the dialogue from beginning to the end with references from post-2008 if it was a 2008 ad? They would have had to completely refilm it which would make it a new ad anyway. Almost all the dialogue, from “taking away health care from poor people” to birtherism references to gay marriage wouldn’t have been in a 2008 ad — Obamacare had not yet passed and birtherism was still a very tiny fringe concept not worth mocking and Obama was still anti-gay-marriage back in 2008, and wouldn’t have been the only things mentioned.
Link proving it existed in 2008, or I’ll have to stay with the presumption that it’s from the 2012 cycle (posted end of 2011). I’m not saying definitely that you’re wrong, I just currently see no evidence for your claim.
What about “One Term More”? It claims to be a parody but by “parody” they seem to mean “we wrote new words” rather than “we are mocking in a satirical way.” It’s another exhibit in progressive lack of self-awareness.
http://www.onetermmore.com/video_subtitles.html
Of course! Forgot about that one. Added in the “runners-up” section at the end. Thx.
Great work Z. Keep compiling the videos; perhaps we can divine in your future a gig as documentary film director? I, for one, would anticipate the premieres.
Yes, that is terrible and indicates they have no idea what the word means.
I like your work, Zombie. I don’t watch television so I appreciate you revealing some aspects of pop culture. Even though learning about the left and pop culture totally depresses me, keep up the good work.