Formerly Famous Newsman Thinks It's Going to be Romney's Day

Dan Rather was on Morning Joe this morning, trying to make himself relevant to the national conversation on the election.

Rather, who isn’t dead as some rumors have had it but only buried on the Current TV Network, was in an expansive mood:

“Something in my gut tells me that it’s going to be a good day for Romney,” Rather said on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe.” “But as a reporter, you don’t report your gut. The polls all indicate, yes, Obama, he has several paths to victory, Romney has only one. But don’t taunt the alligator until after you cross the creek.”

Did you miss those homespun “Ratherisms” as much as I did? Right. I didn’t care for them much either. But here’s a little trip down memory lane as we feature the best of the worst Ratherisms over the years:

“This race is hotter than a Times Square Rolex.”

“His lead is as thin as turnip soup.”

“This race is humming along like Ray Charles.”

“The presidential race is swinging like Count Basie.”

“This race is hotter than the Devil’s anvil.”

“Ohio becomes like a sauna for the two candidates. All they can do is wait and sweat.”

“This situation in Ohio would give an aspirin a headache.”

“Bush is sweeping through the South like a big wheel through a cotton field.”

“This presidential race has been crackling like a hickory fire for at least the last hour and a half.”

“We used to say if a frog had side pockets, he’d carry a handgun.”

“We had a slight hitch in our giddy up, but we corrected that.”

I challenge you to imagine a frog with side pockets without wondering about the frequency that Mr. Rather was accessing at the time.

I’ve been waiting for Texas to disown this man, but it doesn’t seem to be among Rick Perry’s priorities. I doubt whether any red-blooded Texan would be caught dead uttering one of those ridiculous nostrums, which only makes Rather even more of a pitiful character.