This photo from last week’s VP debate was so awesome that the Drudge Report posted it the next day, which means it qualifies for a Tatler Photo Caption Contest.
So go for it all you over- caffeinated creative types who have been chomping at the bit waiting for our latest contest.
Here is your chance to get inside the head of Joe Biden. What was he really thinking the moment this photo was taken?
To start things off here is my entry:
Hey God…. seriously man…. could use some help…. who’s your bro?
I know, I know, lame and slightly blasphemous, but my entry is only meant to whet your appetites and point you in the right direction.
Now, as usual, the winner will receive priceless PR in a future post and the famous Dr. Spin will know your name. (Only the best prizes for our contest winners!)
Of course you can only win if you obey the contest rules, which everyone knows by now are, “be nice and stay classy because the media is watching.”
But rules are made to be broken and considering this is a caption contest of our not-so-esteemed Vice President, I may allow just a few exceptions.
Good luck and try to stay somewhat classy because for now, Ol’ Joe is still only a heart-beat away – God help us.
The lie I just told is thiiiiissss big!
I’m not as good at this as Father Pfleger.
“Oh Lord of Hyenas and Jackals, please give me the strength to keep cackling!”
“I followed the star from the Midwest … to Chicago, and then to Mt. Prospect. And then I climbed the mountain, and then, on top of Mt. Prospect, in the land of Illinois, near the hills of Arlington Heights, the word was revealed to me. And so it was revealed: Yhere is no won but Teh Won, and I am his messenger.”
Oh right! You think some little fact (interrupts self)…Libya is no pro..(interrupts self)…Is there pie after the debate?
OMG! Give me strength. I have to defend my boss, who’s a moron.
Screw Romney! This’ll get the Christians on OUR side!
Are they getting this? Is Ryan watching? This’ll scare him?
I saw Obama’s stick it was THIS BIG!!!!!
This is a perfect example of what happens when the “stay classy” rules are loosened.
You’d have a point if Joe Biden didn’t say such a thing. He did, therefore it fits within the parameters of “stay classy”.
Besides, you’re the one whose mind is in the gutter.
Serenity NOW!!!
This should at least make the top three.
But they told me there would be no math!
“Lord, please bury the last 4 years . . . ”
“Lord, deliver me from here without a major gaffe & I’ll gladly get on a confined airplane.”
“The chains they’ll put ya’ll in will be this long!”
Joe buys time to count the letters in j-o-b-s just before saying it’s a 3-letter word.
“Maybe if I act crazy enough, I’ll get the sympathy vote . . . ”
“Barack & I are gonna expand entitlements this much!”
MSNBC wants me to co-host with Chris Matthews on election-night!
I Pooped today!!! Or
I Pooped today and it was this big!!
I tried to get this in previously:
- My mouth can hold a foot this big!!
My mouth will hold a foot this big!!
Touchdown!!!
Hey, I can be an NFL replacement referee, too!
Ah can’t take the heat – Beam me up, Scotty!
“This is a BFD”
“This is a BFD,” said the intellect of the Democratic Party, kind of a grin with a body behind it.
Where are you, Big Bird!? You’re never around when I need you!
I think Joe just caught a glimpse of Big Bird’s imaginary friend; George Snuffleupagus.
I believe this is how Democrats are supposed to say Barack’s name.
God? You know I was joking about that lightning thing, right? …God?
1)As God is my witness, for the first 8 days the information that we were getting is that there was an attack on Ben Gazzara!
2)Joe,you haven’t passed a budget in three years, can you show us today what your plan is to improve the economy?
3)Congressman Ryan just went through his three point plan, what does your three pointer look like, Joe?
4)Romney/Ryan has taken the lead nationally, what would that lead look like if the media wasn’t in the tank for you guys?
5)What were you thinking when you put that biker chick on your lap?
“Beam me up, Biscotti!”
1) “I got it! I got it!”
2) “What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun…”
3) “Clap your hands with me if you believe!”
Well done! Romeo and Juliet …. Shakespere would weep!
“Praise the Lawd! Folks,just keep those donations rolling in to the PTL Clup.”
Pass The Loot?
Pay The Lady?
Press Tammy’s Lashes?
Unchain me now! Unchain my heart! I am batdoodoo crazy! Yeah! Obligatory Howard Dean scream, fade, slow curtain, the end …
I couldn’t help myself I think the Daily Caller’s was the funniest: Are you there God? It’s me: Idiot.
– YOU treat your friends, then no wonder you don’t have many!!
I went to the donut shop, and they had an elephant with eight legs, and it was THIS big!!!!
God, don’t send me back to the village after the election!
I think I just felt Chris Mathews’ tingle in my plugs
I am on the floor laughing.
“So there I was, kid, 1957, and Scranton High was in the regional championship for the first time in 15 years. We were playing Altoona, and those boys were pretty rough, but we were up on ‘em 20-17 with only about a minute to go. They just scored a field goal, and all I had to do was catch the kickoff and take a knee. Here comes the kick and….I muffed it. Altoona recovered the ball in our end zone and won it 24-20. Next day, I changed my name to Biden and moved to Delaware. So, what’s your story?”
I’m amazed that he can think at all. What with the singularity he has occupying the location typically reserved for grey matter in normal humans. It’s pretty clear that there’s not just nothing in his head. There’s less than nothing. And the only way you can get less than nothing is via a black hole…
Oh, come on, Ryan. I mean, geez. The words are “the wheels on Obama’s bus go round and round, round and round, round and round…” Let’s get this right, bro.
After this, its FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US!
The Teeth has no Emperor
Pull my string and I talk!
Ow, not so hard!
I’m a cheerleader on hardwood and I feel *this* swell.
“Mommy?”
“But God, aren’t you supposed to look out for fools and idiots?”
“Puleeeeze make Ryan stop talking! He makes too much sense, and I’m running out of interruptions!!”
Mama, I’m done.
“Look, squirrel!”
“I’ve got a fever. And the only prescription is . . . wait, where’s my cowbell?!!!?”
1) “Here comes another dubious factoid out of the ether … I got it … I GOT IT!”
2) invisible gravitas
3) “… and they were all like, ‘Barabbas! Give us Barabbas!’”
“G*d, why have you created an idiot like me ?”
Just imagine the flexibility we will have with four more years. Bwahahahaha, BWAHAHAHAHA.
Ryan needs a thought bubble, “oh no, dad forgot to take his meds again.”
1)”Well, hope may be gone, but we’re going to keep y’all in change”
2) “I’m not going to impose my Catholicism on you, ….Allah akbar!”
3) “Fast and Furious? Sebelius/Hatch Act? New Black Panthers at polling places? Benghazi security? $16 trillion debt? Can’t anyone around here ask a question about Big Bird?”
4)”And, to One World Socialism we offer up this thing called…America:
“More security?, Why Libya is only this big!”
… and Obama saw the oceans and they had receded. And it was good. …
I need more bathsalts!
Martha Raddatz’ gravy boat was this big!
The minute we turned off that credit card security check, Axelrod would drop us down brown bags of foreign cash that looked like this!
I tune in to FDR TV with my arms as antennae.
I am literally on fire here!
Gonna put the world in chains!
” Barack slowed the rise of the seas but I”M GONNA MAKE IT RAIN!!!!”
1). “I think it’s safe to say my democratic brothers will watch my performance tonight and yell SCORE! For the other side….”
2). “God, please help me. I’m drowning here!”
3). “God, I know your’re a little pissed at us democrats right now, but how about a miracle here? Ryan’s destroying me – with math!”
4) “So what if I’m making everything up. Whatcha gonna do? Complain to the moderator?”
5). “Yeah, it is a big f%/#ing deal. I’m being handed my a$$ here!”
6) “That last lie was THIS big!”
“I gotta be meeeeeeeee”
1. I see my Lord and he has a tail.
1) “When I first had the plugs implanted, they told me my hair would get this big!”
2) “You think you got problems dealing with the deficit? I have to deal with a boss whose head is this big!”
Et tu, Paulus?
I’m really a Catholic, I swear
I’m really a Catholic Lord, I swear
I have a higher IQ than you!
… and then Tate came down with the ball and I signaled touchdown!
Look at all the stuff up there.
This is moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal. (I hope they don’t hit me with that plagiarist malarkey again.)