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The PJ Tatler

by
Buzzsawmonkey

Bio

September 24, 2012 - 11:28 am

—apologies to the Rolling Stones, and “Sympathy for the Devil”

Let me please introduce myself
I’m a man of hope and change
I’ve been in office for almost four years
It’s racist if you say my name’s strange
I did a bailout for GM when it was going down the drain
Made sure my cronies were first in line
Bankruptcy laws were rearranged
Pleased to meet you—hope you guessed my name
But what’s puzzling you is the nature of my game

I slept right through the Benghazi night
When the mob for the consulate came
Yes they killed four Americans
Christopher Stevens screamed in vain
I claimed to know ’twas a video
Sparked world riots when the rocks were thrown
Pleased to meet you—hope you guessed my name
But what’s puzzling you is the nature of my game

I watched in glee while the jihadis
Built nuclear bombs with no action by me
I shouted about Romney’s tax returns
While I concealed my past history
Let me please introduce myself
I’m a man of hope and change
And I’ve made sure nobody can buy a home
‘Cause mortgages stay out of range
Pleased to meet you—hope you guessed my name
But what’s confusing you is the nature of my game

Though I condemn the West as colonial
And will impose on it Third World squalor
I rejoice in living a life that’s baronial
As I laze behind the White House doors
So, if you meet me, show me deference
Bow to me as I bow to the Sauds
While I further same-sex matrimonials
And subject you to foreign gods
Pleased to meet you—hope you guessed my name
Can I interest you in a sweatshirt
Which displays the logo of my fame?

Mmmmm, meanness
Gets ’round
Woo, woo
Woo, woo
Oh, yeah—get on down
Oh, yeah—oh, yeah

Tell me subjects—what’s my name?
Say, dependents—what’s my name?
You on foodstamps—what’s my name?
Hey, you voters—you’re to blame.

Ooo, oooh
Ooo, oooh
Ooo, oooh

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