Didn’t your mother ever teach you not to laugh at crazy people?
In their desperation to block Gov. Cuomo from giving the okay for fracking in New York, die-hard opponents of the natural gas drilling technology are floating laugh-out-loud-funny health and environmental threats.
Most hilariously, the enviro-activists have demanded that state officials explore an alleged link between fracking and — we kid you not — syphilis.
They argue that a drilling boom would draw an influx of male workers from other states who would engage in activities of a kind that would spread sexually transmitted diseases.
They also contend that a boom would trigger a housing crunch, adding to homelessness and the health ailments that go along with it.
And that increased truck traffic would not only lead to more road fatalities, but would also — again, no kidding — discourage people from getting the outdoor exercise they need to stay fit.
This is absurd. If New York starts saying no to entire industries on the grounds they might trigger population changes, rising home prices and truck traffic, it might as well turn out the lights.
Have the people pushing these theories considered the health effects of unemployment and poverty — which are all too common in the parts of New York targeted for drilling?
This is a real breakthrough. Just think of the stuff we could ban just by using a little imagination in contemplating the deleterious effects of just about anything:
1. We could ban Obama from speaking. Every time he opens his mouth, he causes a significant rise in blood pressure among sane people and paroxysms of joy among the crazies. Clearly, it is too dangerous to human health to allow President Obama to speak in public.
2. Ban all organic vegetables. Those who eat them are so insufferably arrogant and go on and on about how superior they are to the rest of us for eating so healthy, they are likely to put most of us to sleep, thus causing a dramatic drop in productivity and a rise in unemployment.
3. Ban anti-whaling activists. Whale oil will be necessary to light our houses in the near future if Obama is re-elected so we should get a head start by making it possible for whalers to ply their trade unencumbered. That, and have you ever had a whale steak? Yum. Much healthier for you than the “other red meat” from cattle.
4.Ban environmentalists. Because they come up with laughably ridiculous reasons not to allow fracking.
I’m sure you can come up with your very own bans and use much better logic than the greens who can’t get out of the way of their own stupidity.