Joe Biden earlier today inaugurated the Democratic Party’s new audience-participation campaign motto:
Let me make something clear, say it to the press: America is better off today, than they left us when they left. And if it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail why I say that…
Obama campaign officials later explained that the president plans to use Biden’s formulation to clarify every single aspect of Obama’s record. While the campaign’s staff speechwriters will supply many of the variants in upcoming weeks, Obama for America 2012 invited voters to submit their own versions; lucky winners will be selected for inclusion in speeches by the president himself.
A White House press release revealed the following examples which Obama plans to use in his convention acceptance speech and on the campaign trail; voters (no ID required) are encouraged to submit their own in the comments section below.
“If it weren’t so hot”: Motto for an Obama Future
• “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail how four straight years of 8+% unemployment proves that my economic theories have succeeded.”
• “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail why plunging the nation $16 trillion into debt is wise fiscal policy.”
• “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about how you didn’t build that.”
• “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about how aborting babies in the ninth month of pregnancy is a popular mainstream position.”
• “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail why I support the Islamic extremists who have taken over Egypt.”
• “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about how selling guns to Mexican drug cartels is a good way to safeguard America.”
• “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail how I personally helped cause the housing crisis.”
• “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail how the grade I give myself for my first 4 years is an ‘Incomplete.’”
• “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail how I promised high energy prices, then got what I wanted, then pretended it was bad news.”
• “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail why I recycle the exact same speeches and campaign promises I gave back in 2008, as if I had achieved nothing.”
• “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail as to why the entire Senate, including all Democrats, voted down my proposed budgets 99-0.”
• “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about why I can’t run on my record.”
• “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail what I really mean when I say the Constitution is a ‘living document.’”
• “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail, but since the media covers for me every time, I don’t really ever need to go into detail anyway.”
• (To be used in Biden speeches) “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about how they’re gonna put y’all back in chains.”
• “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about what ‘more flexibility after the elections’ means when translated into Russian.”
• “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about how Obamacare is a tax but it’s not a tax but now it’s a tax again.”
• “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about what’s in my college records.”
• “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail as to how everything my opponents say, do or think is racist.”
• “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about why you personally must pay for other people’s condoms.”
• “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about all 57 states.”
• “If it weren’t so hot, I would go into detail as to how saying we will withdraw all troops from Afghanistan does not actually mean we will withdraw all of our troops.”
Now it’s your turn…
• “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail…”
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about why I don’t have to follow the Constitution.
Your prize for being first is that I added your suggestion (slightly reworded) to the list already!
And, if it really weren’t so hot, this blogger would save herself from far too many headaches!
http://adinakutnicki.com/2012/08/31/red-hot-warning-from-northeast-intelligence-networks-director-dhs-issued-go-gearing-up-to-secure-election-for-barack-hussein-obama-if-polls-slip-commentary-by-adina-kutnicki/
Readers, follow the embedded links….and foot-in-the-mouth Biden should read my blog before he shoots from the lip – once again!
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into details, but thanks to media water-carrying, I don’t have to anyway. (all-purpose answer)
Not bad — added (with slight editing) as well!
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about
It’s Too Darn Hot.
“We’re having a heat wave…”
Love that one, too. Thanks for using Ethel Waters instead of one of the later versions!
I will not brook cheap imitations!
Too Hot…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdzJavQStkk
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about how we’re gonna put y’all back in chains
Added.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about why Democrats want a government that looks like America, and an America that looks like the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
If it weren’t so hot, we’d be running up another trillion in debt and telling you you’re better off than you were 4 years ago.
If it weren’t so hot I’d go into detail why spilling secrets about our special forces is a good thing.
If it weren’t so hot I’d go into detail about business and how you didn’t build that.
Nice. Added (after simplification).
If it weren’t so hot I’d go into detail explaining why I told Putin I’d have “more flexibility after the election.”
Amended and added.
If it weren’t so hot I’d provide a privilege log and go into detail about the grounds for invoking executive privilege over fast and furious documents.
I’d give details as to how I was driving that night.
“If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about the angry villagers outside, with the flaming torches and pitchforks…”
If it weren’t so hot I’d go into detail about why we asked y’all to come to Charleston today….
If it weren’t so hot, I’d show the American people my complete college record.
Fixed and added.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about…oh, hell, if they’d survived this would be perfect weather for Solyndra solar tubes…too bad!
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into details about who wrote Dreams of my Father. Ask me next August.
Using my awesome psychic powers, I’ve probed deep into Obama’s ego – ‘scuse me, mind – and recommend that you discard one letter:
“If I weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about my exemplary humility and modesty.”
If it weren’t so hot I’d go into detail about “hope and change.”
Really – in Green Bay???????
It was 104 degrees in Texas today and we all went hunting.
“If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about why should buy a brand new Chevy Volt.”
One more: “If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about why nothing a Democrat says is racist or sexist, ever.”
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about why we can’t run on our record.
Uh, I don’t THINK so!! Some things must not be spoken of, with or without details.
(IWiSH) IIWSH!
IF IT WERNT SO HOT, id tell you why you should believe me.
IWiSH, id show how not at all gullible you guys really are.
IWiSH, id explain how smart the democratic party is.
IWiSH, id irrevocably prove that Im really not at all crazy.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d tell you why were better off now, but still I would have to kill you.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail why we won’t have a debt clock at our convention.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail how a graduate of Columbia and Harvard Law who golfs, hangs with Hollywood celebrities, and vacations in Martha’s Vineyard doesn’t have liberals calling him an Oreo or Uncle Tom.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail why I left my trip to Pakistan out of both my autobiographies.
• “THIS WEEK IN CHARLOTTE”
This week in Charlotte, pigs will fly
And nature’s laws will be unwound
Obama’s minions glibly lie
And “truth to power” won’t be found
This week in Charlotte
This week in Charlotte, pachyderms
Renowned for flawless memory
Will not recall one thing they’ve learned
Of fraud within BO’s presidency
This week in Charlotte
This week in Charlotte, history
Will hide her flaming face in shame
As Media Whores spread false stories
Of how and why our crises came
This week in Charlotte
This week in Charlotte, “talking heads”
Will reassure us “all is well”
So we’ll sleep safely in our beds
Until that day we wake in hell
This week in Charlotte.
NO RIGHTS RESERVED: Weep for our nation, this week in Charlotte.
Obama has many fathers. Frank Marshall Davis, Jeromy Wright, Bill Ayers, Karl Marx, Benito Mussolini, King George, King Louie, Joe Isuzu and Bozo the Clown, and he inherited the worst traits and characteristics of each of them.
If it weren’t so hot I would explain why Eric Holder still has a job at the Justice Department. (Something about where the bodies are buried).
If it weren’t so hot, I might actually have to stand up here and tell you all the ways your government has f***ed you for the last 100 years. From the tax code to entitlements, I might have to explain how your elected “representatives” have become a perverted spigot to crony capitalism.
Thank God – wait a minute, there is no God – thank Obama and our progressive past that you will sit there and cheer me when I SLOWLY RAISE MY VOICE AND MAKE NO POINT AT ALL!
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into that bit again about Slurpees and the Republicans driving us into the ditch. …oh, what the hey, it’s not that hot: Republicans, drinking Slurpees…
If it weren’t so hot, I would tell you why my name has not been mentioned as a vice presidential candidate even one time since this convention began!
Heh! I haven’t watched all the coverage, not even close. But what I have watched only talks about nominating Obama. I know in the case of Obama, that is a possibility. But, did I miss it?
Am I the only one curious why they are making such a fuss about Hillary being as far away from the convention as possible? Please, please, please…. tell me that I missed it.
thats because she cant stand him.
If it weren’t so hot, I would list the covert ways we have already fundamentally transformed America.
If it weren’t so hot, I would list the overt ways we will be able to finish this fundamental transformation in a Second Term. When we no longer have to worry about reelection and an angry electorate. Just like President Obama wanted to reassure Putin. Well, I guess I could give you a few details as long as there are no live mics this time . . . I see so many purple shirts and red shirts in the audience so I know I am among fellow believers in the power of the almighty State.
If it weren’t so hot, I’ld tell you why you need to pay for every woman’s birth control.
…, I wouldn’t be such a cool President.
…, you’d recognize the Hell on Earth that I’ve created.
…, my reptilian blood wouldn’t flow.
…, you’d awaken from your lethargy and vote my sorry ass out of office.
…, I couldn’t point to perils of Global Warming, hurricanes and drought to distract you from my pathetic performance.
…, there’d be millions of real protestors, not DNC funded AstroTurfers, on the streets at every campaign stop.
…, there’d be sad stories about the homeless instead of quaint stories on camping.
…, you’d gather in all your empty lawn chairs and wonder which one is me.
If it weren’t so hot, I could explain why I thought ‘Fast and Furious’ was a good idea.
Also, my new byline and e-mail signature
….”No one died as a result of Watergate”
…about what a magnificently brilliant entry I have for this contest, that blows away anything else anyone else has thought up.
If it weren’t so hot I’d explain why it doesn’t matter how many people vote for Mitt Romney.
If it weren’t so hot I’d explain how we’ll win the election even if 90% of the people vote for Romney.
If it weren’t so hot I’d explain how all those who support Romney will be getting a free vacation (to a re-education camp run by the Sinola Cartel).
If it wasn’t so hot, I wouldn’t have used weren’t.
If it weren’t so hot, we would have passed at least one budget during our entire term in office.
If it weren’t so hot, we would explain why passing $16 trillion dollars this week isn’t a “grim milestone”.
If it weren’t so hot, we wouldn’t have to keep the size of these crowds down every time.
If it weren’t so hot, we would know the difference between a penalty and a tax.
If it weren’t so hot, it would be (pick one), the Japanese Tsunami, European collapse, ATM’, or George Bush’s fault…why we didn’t (pick more than one).
If it weren’t so hot, Stephanie Cutter could fire up a couple of synapses and actually say something that makes an ounce of sense.
If it weren’t so hot, Chris Matthews would still find racism in the weather pattern.
If it weren’t so hot, we’d be golfing.
Excellent. Two of ‘em added.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d … um … um … what was the question?
If it weren’t so hot, I’d detail how my grandma happened to die during my 08 campaign, right before the election.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d explain why I was wearing a wedding ring in pictures of me while in college.
If it weren’t so hot, we’d have a BBQ at the White House. Bo, here Bo, here boy!
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail why pubes don’t make natural looking hair plugs.
If it weren’t so hot…….how great that plane really is.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about how the “death panels” in “Obamacare” will improve health care.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about how “Obamacare” is a tax but it’s not a tax but now it’s a tax again.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about how so many of my living relatives are either illegal aliens facing deportation or living in a hut in Africa.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about how I can sit under “G-d D**n America” Jeremiah Wright for 20 years without listening.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about my relationship with Frank Marshall Davis.
One of ‘em added.
If it weren’t so hot I would lecture you on the details of our transparency.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail how correct Hugo Chavez is but if you reelect me for another 4 years, you will have first hand experience living it.
Since it is so hot a topic, I’ll note that the Democrats have become completely unhinged, drowned in the perspiration of their own frantic ineptitude.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about how jobs is a three letter word.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about how the President is focused like a laser on David Beckham underwear and how Kanye West is a jerk.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about how Austrian is a language.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail what a Russian nuclear submarine is doing on US territory.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about how smart this administration is.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about the fifty-seven states I visited.
Added (after shortening).
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail ’bout how Barack has taken every chance to divide this country, when he had to perfect opportunity in history to unite us and bring us together.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail ’bout how Stephanie Cutter’s mouth contorts before she lies.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail ’bout how David Axelrod’s mustache has been in many porn movies.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail ’bout how to bow to any foreign leader.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail ’bout how we closed Gitmo. Really.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail ’bout how the CEO’s of many major corporations think my boss is as stupid as I am.
If not so hot, I’d explain why I never gave my girls “Christmas” presents until I ran for congress.
AFL-CIO Sets Up “Hug A Union Thug” Booth At DNC…
http://weaselzippers.us/2012/09/03/afl-cio-sets-up-hug-a-union-thug-booth-at-dnc/
“If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail about my little talk with Barack concerning the Vice Presidency.”
If it weren’t so hot I’d go into detail about ….. hmmmm you know what I’m saving this line for when I debate Paul Ryan. It gets hot under those stage lights. It really does.
“If it weren’t so hot, I’d be doing something worthwhile, like looking for a job.”
If it weren’t so hot, I’ll tell you why everything is Bush’s fault.
– now Kool & the Gang will sing “Too Hot”!
Slight move to the near future…
If it weren’t so hot I’d explain why I didn’t get reelected.
If it weren’t so hot, I would go into detail about who leaked national security secrets from the White House.
It if weren’t so hot, I would go into detail about how the spirit of Bin Laden is very much alive and the the momentum of GM is very much dead.
If it weren’t so hot, I would go into detail about the NLRB’s role in preventing job expansion.
If it weren’t so hot, I would go into detail about exerting executive privilege in a matter in which I had no interaction or knowledge.
If it weren’t so hot, I would go into detail why Libya demanded an immediate military response without Congressional approval and Iran and Syria require none at all.
If it weren’t so hot, I would go into detail why I have not visited Israel as President, but I’ve been to Ghana and El Salvador.
If it weren’t so hot, I would go into detail why czars and czarinas are a good idea in a representative democracy.
If it weren’t so hot, I would go into detail on why paying 80% isn’t a “fair share” and why paying nothing is a “burden”.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d go into detail how the grade I give myself for my first 4 years is an “Incomplete.”
If it weren’t so hot, I would go into detail why telling the truth about what I have said or done is really lying.
if it weren’t so hot, I would go into detail about how not recognizing Jerusalem as Israeli or refusing to call Hamas a terrorist organization saying that Palestinians refugees will have to live in a Palestinian state only is being solidly for Israel.
If it weren’t so hot, I would go into detail how telling Iran it would not do anything to attack its nuclear facilities as long as it does not attack us is being tough on Iran.
If it weren’t so hot, I would go into detail why Hillary Clinton is in Jakarta and refuses to get anywhere near the Democratic convention.
If it weren’t so hot, I would go into detail how saying we will withdraw all troops from Afghanistan does not mean we will withdraw all of our troops.
If it weren’t so hot, I would go into detail how Joe Biden is not just a grin with a body behind him.
If it weren’t so hot, I would go into detail how DWS is the greatest DNC head ever.
If it weren’t so hot, I would go into detail I would how most Americans — including women and Democrats — hate women when they agree there need to be restrictions on abortions, including waiting periods and informed consent.
If it weren’t so hot, I would go into detail how most Americans are racists when they agree that photo ID’s to vote.
Afghanistan added.
If it weren’t so hot, I’ld tell you why Michelle Obama is proud for the first time in her life she’s American, but she can’t tell you why.
Democrats said we don’t care about this anymore.
If it weren’t so hot, I would go into detail of who really makes all the decisions in the WH.
If it weren’t so hot I would go into detail about how transporting your dog in a dog carrier on your car roof is animal cruelty, but eating a dog isn’t.
the Dems have the audacity of dopes once again to cry manipulation, saying black GOP are house Negros, superficial, tokens, and worse-then make sure their media lapdogs have censored any AA or Hispanic from the news coverage- I mean wouldn’t want any reality to intrude on the narrative they write before the events take place- and yet Biden is oh just coincidentally surrounded by black faces in camera frame. Not manipulation? not tokenism? UH MSM ???
If it weren’t so hot…I’d tell you all about the plan to use Fast & Furious to implement gun control and all about billions of auto bailout dollars used to build the new GM R&D Center in China and about Barack’s real father, Frank and all about the high unemployment, the high number of food stamp users, the high number of homeless people and the high cost of Michelle’s vacations. If only it weren’t so hot…
If it weren’t so hot:
I’d be on the golf course taking time out from destroying the economy and the country.
I’d explain why the hell I picked Joe Biden as my running mate in the first place.
I’d be appointing czars, deciding which laws to enforce or not and ignoring the constitution at every turn. Oh wait. It’s never too hot for any of that.
What Obama Won’t Say in Charlotte: War on Terror Is Done By Spencer Ackerman September 4, 2012
http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2012/09/dem-convention/
This is just right wing cruelty. If you understood what this man went through to get where he is, you’d all realize what hateful fools you are… Wanna talk about dedication??? This man installed hairplugs — IN HIS HEAD for godsakes! He wasn’t paid to do it… He just did it to please others! How many of you have EVER been so selfless? And for years, without ever calling attention to the fact, Joe Biden has practically worked his hands raw in bathrooms across DC – what was he doing in there??? He was reading and memorizing every goddam joke book he could get his hands on – and why? Just to bring a little joy into a world overflowing with right wing HATE!
Not to mention that thanks to him now everybody knows where that super-secret DC atomic bunker is.
Maybe the only thing Ole’ Joe should read are chocolate bar wrappings instead of classified literature.
2012 Democrat Platform Endorses Internet Privacy The 2012 Democratic National Platform supports the administration’s Internet Privacy Bill of Rights to protect consumer privacy. Separate provisions in the platform call for privacy protections for broadband deployment, intellectual property enforcement, and cybersecurity laws; the Democratic platform opposes voter identification laws. However, the platform is silent on the Fourth Amendment, and retreats from the 2008 Democratic platform that opposed surveillance of individuals that were not suspected of a crime. In 2008, Candidate Obama promised to “strengthen the privacy protections for the digital age and to harness the power of technology to hold government and business accountable for violations of personal privacy.” The 2012 Republican Platform was released last week. The Libertarian and Green Party platforms are also available. For more information, see
http://www.democrats.org/about/party_platform
If it wasn’t so hot, I’d explain the Keystone Pipeline decision.
If it wern’t so hot, I’d tell you why Jerusalem is not the capital of Israel.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d tell you how “climate change” has made it so hot.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d tell you why my brother still lives in a hut.
If it weren’t so hot, I’d tell you why we decided to move tomorrow night’s acceptance speech to a much smaller venue.