Two-Drink Minimum: T-Paw's RNC One-Liners

It was the T-Paw comedy show at the Republican National Convention tonight: Former Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty (R) stumped for Mitt Romney, but first launched into a bit of stand-up.

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“President Obama isn’t as bad as people say — he’s actually worse,” Pawlenty said. “The president takes more vacations than the guy on the bizarre foods show.”

“And I’ll give Barack Obama credit for creating jobs these last four years for golf caddies.”

Pawlenty then compared Obama to a big tattoo: “It seemed cool when we were young but later on that decision doesn’t look so good and you wonder what was I thinking. But the worst part is you’re going to have to explain it to your kids.”

He quipped of Obama’s first term, “It’s understandable a lot of people fail at their first job.”

After telling delegates “welcome to Barack Obama’s retirement party,” Pawlenty added, “Biden even thought about coming here to Tampa… when Paul Ryan speaks Joe will finally get to hear what a real vice president sounds like.”

In addition to telling Obama “you’re out of time and we’re out of money,” Pawlenty praised nominee Mitt Romney and his “infectious good cheer.”

“We need to let them know help’s on the way,” he said of struggling Americans, “and help’s name is Mitt Romney.”

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