O: First things first, to the death
USA: No. To the pain.
O: I don’t think I’m quite familiar with that phrase
USA: I’ll explain and I’ll use small words, so you’ll be able to understand, you pitiful redistributionist buffoon.
O: That may be the first time in my life a country has dared to insult me.
USA: It won’t be the last. To the pain means the first thing you lose will be your adoring multitudes. Stadiums? Ah. You won’t be able to fill a high school gym. Then those financing you will start to have doubts, and Romney will out-fundraise you.
O: [losing patience] And then my golden tongue will desert me, I suppose. I let you have too much freedom last time. I’ll do better in my second term.
USA: You never had a golden tongue. And I wasn’t finished. Finally, even your lap dog press starts to have doubts. You lose your look of inevitability–
O: [exasperated] And then my life. I understand. Let’s get on with it.
USA: Wrong. You lose the election. Your life you keep, and I’ll tell you why: so that in your voluntary Kenyan exile, no matter how much you tell the world the only reason you were kicked out was racism, you’ll know you were a complete failure. Every joke a late-night comedian makes at your expense, will be yours to cherish. Every time you hear or read the phrase “worse than Carter,” you’ll know they’re talking about you. Every time your nose-in-the-air mannerisms are spoofed, you’ll see it or hear about it. Every time people giggle at “hope and change” you’ll know they’re laughing at you.
USA: This is what “To the pain” means: I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
O: [cautious] I think you’re bluffing.
USA: It’s possible, Renegade. I might be bluffing. It’s conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass of Marxist indoctrination, that I’m only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But then again, November draws near… And perhaps I have the strength, after all.
Loosely based on:
Let us be rid of this toxic, self-aggrandizing scumbag.
Wonderful, I haven’t had a good princess bride reference all day. Bravo!
Excellent!
I like the part about being a comedic punching-bag … forever.
So, any side bets on how graciously he and the Missus will leave the White House?
After he has left office, his academic record will be revealed by a unidentified source. Passed will be the record, no grade points, no letter grades just passed to please his masters who used him as a rent boy. His tuition and a stipend were the price of his prostitution. It will be revealed he had to have someone at his side at all times to tell him to breath in, breath out. To tell him to stop chewing his gum before attempting to walk as the plastic surgery for his repeatedly floor broken nose was costing too much. His attractive wife will let her beard and mustache grow back and the real father of her children will file for custody. I’d say harsh things about him but it would be wasted on both him and his animal friends.
And he can take all the ROUS currently residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. with him.
As you wish…