July 30, 2012 - 11:19 am
What is President Obama doing in this picture, which graces the White House’s official web site?
Is he watching Louis Farrakhan’s UFO land? Is he wondering why no one wants to pose with him? Is he imagining how his bust will look up on Mt. Rushmore? What is behind his vacant gaze into the distance?
He’s listening to his daily instructions from George Soros, who is standing just off camera.
You took the words right out of my mouth.
I was superimposing the old-school RCA adds with the little mutt in front of the old phonograph…
“And over here you can meet Barack Obama himself, America’s first coin-operated president.”
Allah…these infidels do not appreciate me.
“I wonder how the janitors change those lightbulbs waaaaay up there?”
SQUIRREL!
What can I blame on Bush this week?
Hmmmm. What’s that smell?
There’s a thin skin on your belly and your guts stink.
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Remember. Proper grip. Keep the left hand in strong position. Keep your head down. Now start from the hands. Keep the right arm straight…
I wonder… if the Beatles were alive, would they come play for the next White House party?
Call on me! Call on me! Oooooo I know the answer! Pleeease call on me!
If we place the teleprompter up here, Mr. President, you can look down your nose at your subjects god-like while lying to them.
Remember folks, it’s all about me, me, me!
As Harry Truman once said: “The buck stops with Bush!”.
I see dead voters.
In-n-out or five guys, In-n-out or five guys,In-n-out or five guys, In-n-out or five guys,In-n-out or five guys, In-n-out or five guys,In-n-out or five guys, In-n-out or five guys,In-n-out or five guys, In-n-out or five guys,In-n-out or five guys, In-n-out or five guys,In-n-out or five guys, In-n-out or five guys,In-n-out or five guys, In-n-out or five guys
Oh hell. Lets just have pie.
Obviously thinking about and planning for that “October Surprise”.
Man, I’m gonna look freakin’ REGAL in this photo.
Wow,ABC says that I’m really, really smart..I wonder what they know that I don’t?
“Roof hits” in the White House, I am the totally absorbed Choomer in Chief!
How much wood could a wood chuck… Man, it makes me tired just thinking about that much work.
I am the messiah–er–father of this country. I should be on the one-dollar bill not that old fogy Washington.
– Which art in the Oval Office…
– can you hear me…? (Write your own lyrics.)
Tonight’s Movie at the White House Cinema ” THE ROAD TO THE PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL ” Starring the Choooooom Gang Interceptor king Baraaaaacccck O’bummmmer
1)So when you sat in those pews watching Jeremiah Wright say “God Damn America” how did that make you feel? Barack? Earth to Barack.
2)Just think, in a second term where you have a media in your pocket not holding you accountable for anything for another four years, how sweet would that be?
3)When you sat behind Kim Kardashian what did you see?
4)”You didn’t build that”, “Bitter clingers”, when you have to eat your words so often, show us how you do that self-Heimlich thing again.
5)How do you like that bust of Lenin where Winston used to be?
6)Stay informed. This is your teleprompter speaking. Stay informed. Do not stray from these scrolling words. Ever.
7)It’s good to be the king.
The same thing is behind the glance as is behind everything the criminal does; ignorant arrogance.
“I’m just so lucky to be me. I’d feel sorry for the rest of the poor suckers of the world if I actually gave a sh*t about anything but myself.”
Listening to the that the Dow Jones has reached “0″ at last. “I did that”
He is savoring his own awesome aroma.
“How the hell do I pull off another 4 years of this shit?”
“…would the ermine robe and crown be too much for next time? nah, I reperated them…”
“Unqualified as hell. Free from any press scrutiny. Amerikka. What a country!”
As he thinks about the American people especially the ones who voted for him, “SUCKERS!!”
“Yes Abe, you can fool all of the people all of the time”
“After I’m outta here, I wonder how much I can hock that Nobel Peace Prize for?”
“It is amazing to me how powerful name-calling is. People…an entire civilization, will docilely get on the train to the gulags and extinction as a people, just to keep from being called racists. Positively amazing. Need to remember that one.”
“Be grateful that I, the Great and Powerful O, condescend to lead you. You may get up off your knees now.”
“If you really want to stay informed, don’t listen to me.”
“That new portrait of Karl Marx is giving me such a woody!”
“(thought bubble)….then I’ll be Jedi Master and rule the universe! Sweet!”
Off Line;batteries being recharged.
“It is positively mind-boggling how easy this was. I pulled off the biggest con-job in the history of mankind and all I had to do was 1) be black and 2) show up. What a country. Heh. And I still hate it. Double heh.”
“Does this pose make my ears look big?”
“I’ll bet if I look really reverend like this, no one will ever suspect it was me that farted. As a bonus, the Christians may think I’ve found God.”
“…and then you will declare all of Latin America the 51st state. Await further instructions. That is all.”
END OF TRANSMISSION
“Did I eat at Chick-fil-a twice this week?”
“I never get tired posing for these photos, but I wonder how over the top I can get before the NYT will raise the b.s. flag?”
Obama attempting to find his teleprompter so that he can say “Good Morning” to Michele.
No, I did not Fart!…that was Michelle..
A little to the left, Eric.
We have a winner!
“Gosh, I hope the teleprompter cues up soon –”
Since he can’t utilize his life-time membership and be there in person, he’s watching a live feed from MAN’S COUNTRY in Chicago.
Mendocino sensamillia, damn, that’s some good shit, hmmm.
I don’t imagine Bill’s intern was any better than this!!
now, nice ‘n easy with the butt plug, yeah, that’s it . . . oooo, ahhhhh, mmm, mmm mmm . . .
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Who’s the fairest™ of them all?
What do you think, Val? More cowbell?
1) “His Master’s Voice….” (George Soros’ voice, that is…..)
2) No Chris Matthews, that’s not my leg you’re tingling….good boy….now sit.
3) We as a nation are facing desperate economic….oh look – shiny thingy!
4) I wonder how long I can gaze, god-like, into the distance before they realize I am not in deep thought and actually don’t have a clue what I’m doing?
5) (crickets chirping…..chirping…..chirping…..)
6) Oh my, this laxative is amazingly gentle!
7) Why yes, this IS my clueless ‘deer in the headlights’ look. It came upon me right after I realized just how deep into debt I have run the country!
8) Ahhhh….the pause that refreshes….
9) As I look out upon my adoring Journolist fans, I think to myself, “It’s good to have minions!”
10) Hey, that wasn’t me. My $hit don’t stink. It had to have been the dog – or Chrissy Matthews!
11) Corrupted file. Rebooting. Please wait.
12) I still can’t believe it….I actually managed to compromise John Roberts. Win!!!!
13) My Greek columns should be arriving in Charlotte any day now.
17)
In the beginning, I created the Czars and Obamacare. Now the health care industry was greedy and not under My control, and darkness was over the face of My acolytes, and Socialism was being resisted by one fifth of the US economy.
And I said, “Let there be regulations,” and there were regulations. I saw that the regulations were good, and I divided the citizens against one another. I called the regulations “progressive,” and capitalism “evil.” And this was my first term.
Excerpt from The Book Of Obama
(Ok, this one was frigteningly easy…and I so could have gone on with it further.)
Oops…this was me…lol. Need to stop multi-tasking.
13) I am living proof that cocaine use in your youth does not impair your mental….ah….uhm…what was I saying? Interception!
Oops…make that #14.
15) A legend in my own mind.
16) Am I late for my nostril grooming appointment?
Maybe I ought to return to my homeland of Kenya and declare myself KING…
nice, Hillary, when you kiss my ass like that . . .
just be patient, and wait under the desk, Bill, it’s your turn next . . .
after all this fun, michelle will give me a nice, hard spanking, with valerie watching, too
what Larry’s doing now . . .?
miss Rahm baby now, though . . . ah, well
My mother said if I put my head this way it would get stuck like that, and she was right.
All that ‘Glass Ceiling’ crowd yammering about the having it all and the Big O.
I am the “Really BIG O” and I have it all.
Mmm.. Donuts!
“The clothes have no emperor.”
So that’s an entrepreneur!!
“That’s Me, up there, on instant replay — WOW, what a pitch!”
“I serve as a blank screen,” Obama writes, “on which people of vastly different political stripes project their own views.”
1.) “The ceiling is leaking…which reminds me, I need to leak some more classified military secrets to make me look strong.”
2.) “Just pan the camera a bit more so the lights on the wall behind me give me my trademark halo.”
3.) “How can Ryan talk so well without a teleprompter?”