May 16, 2012 - 4:46 pm
Vice President Joe Biden made a couple of stops in swing-state Ohio today, followed by this fundraising email a short time ago:
Friend –
I need to ask you something.
If you know you’re going to donate to this campaign eventually, what’s stopping you from doing it right now?
You’re already a part of this movement — now take the next step and say you’ll help grow it.
You know, this has never been about Barack and me.
We’re just two guys. It’s folks like you out there who will decide this election.
And what you’re capable of is incredible — if you decide to do it:
https://donate.barackobama.com/Decide
Thank you,
Joe
– we’re starving.
“Hey, sure, we get to use AF1 & 2 at taxpayer expense for campaigning, but we got an entourage to pay, dammit.”
“C’mon, I know it’s not like you don’t like us or our policies.”
“We promise if you donate now, we won’t ask again later. Barak and my word is good. You can take it to the bank.”
“Forget about all those other Dem races. We gotta do it for Barak. Do it for the Gipper! You know Barak played as the Gipper, too, right?”
“Um, no? Erm, you are gonna donate later, right? I mean, you are still on our team, right?”
“Well, yeah, I know it’s tight out there, especially for the little people like you, but you have to INVEST in us.”
“We need you little people to help us out, too. It’s not like we can get all the money we need from the rich people. Yeah, I know that’s what the Republicans say about taxing the rich to pay for stuff, but this is different!”
“You know, you can buy someone else’s groceries for them and have them give you the cash, so you can send some to us, right? Oh. Did I say that out loud?”
Dang. I could do this all day.
Hey Joe -
Mom cut my allowance. My Master’s in Punk Studies isn’t bringing in the job offers that I thought it would. Can you do something about those annoying student loan collectors from Sallie Mae?
Maybe next cycle,
Love, Moon Goat