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Bryan Preston

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May 4, 2012 - 9:24 am

This week the Obama campaign rolled out “The Life of Julia,” which charts the course of a woman’s life nearly from cradle to grave, and how government programs are present at every step, for her own good of course.

Julia is not poor. She is not unemployed. She is not underprivileged or experiencing deprivation. But “The Life of Julia” depicts her as a middle-class woman who is dependent on Obama’s beneficence and generosity throughout her life.

Obama’s intervention in Julia’s life begins at the age of three. Click the slides to enlarge:

We can assume that Julia was born some time around Obama’s inauguration in January 2009. His smiling face sends her off to school, shortly before he boards Air Force One for his 200th campaign appearance of the year.

Obama inserts himself into Julia’s life again, when she is aged 17 and looking to go to college. Fourteen years have passed, so he should have left the presidency when Julia was about 7, or if America votes poorly, 11. But the slide indicates that he is still in office and none of his policies have been rethought or undone. His legislation endures forever.

Notice who seems to have no role in Julia’s life: Her parents. Her teachers. Her church or town or friends. Julia herself gets no credit for working hard to keep her grades up to earn scholarships. She doesn’t appear intent to work her way through school. She doesn’t consider attending a for-profit university that’s focused on what she wants to do in her career, since Obama spent his first term discrediting and destroying them. She depends on Obama and his Race to the Top program, which comes with so many strings attached that some states have rejected it. Julia doesn’t live in one of those states.

We pick up Julia’s life again just a year later. Obama is still in office and every one of his acts has been cast in stone. Julia’s 18 now and in college. President Obama, having taken over the student loan industry, is in her life again.

Four years later, President Obama leaps into Julia’s life yet again.

The woman without a face does have a family! And thanks to ObamaCare, a partisan bill passed over the objections of a majority of America’s voters, perhaps including Julia’s own parents, she gets an unnamed surgery. That’s rare for someone Julia’s age, but by all means give Obama the glory for the good work that the doctors do for her, and for her parents keeping their jobs despite Obama’s economy. This slide supposes that ObamaCare has survived the Supreme Court and has not been repealed, as the majority of American voters want. It also supposes that private insurance has survived ObamaCare, and that the nation itself has not gone broke under the weight of the trillions ObamaCare will cost us all at the federal and state levels. The five trillion plus that Obama has added to the national debt in his first term has not destroyed us, yet.

A year later, Julia gets a job in the Barack Obama economy. That’s no mean feat, since in his economy, college graduates face the worst job market in decades. Those who do get jobs find themselves underemployed. The slide suggests that Julia is poised to sue her new employer, which is not a good way to start a career unless you plan to move from the private sector to Democrat activist. So many years into Obama’s presidency, that would probably be a good career move.

Skipping past slides in which Obama claims credit for Julia’s peace of mind, the faceless web designer decides to have a child. Not a family, mind you. There is no indication that she is married or has anyone in her life. The only identified man in her life is Barack Obama, who appears to have done away with the 22nd Amendment long ago and become President for Life and husband to all. Regardless, thanks to him, Julia will be just fine, though facing the world with a child who will also presumably lack a face, she is never really alone.

Six years pass. In his never-ending beneficence, Barack Obama is looking out for Julia’s son too. Big Barack loves them both very much.

Five years pass. Julia starts a business that is not Solyndra but does get a government loan, and Obama claims the credit if it succeeds. If it fails, either because fuel prices have made keeping the lights on prohibitively expensive, or because ObamaCare has made Julia’s insurance liability too costly, or because the taxes to pay for all of Obama’s beneficence have made it too expensive to launch a business at all, or because Julia’s education focused more on social justice than on reading, writing and running a viable business, Obama will blame his predecessor George W. Bush, who by now has long been out office and become a caricature. Americans now only know him as “Bush,” and they hate him. Every day.

At age 65 for Julia, Barack Obama has been in office for more than six decades according to the slide. His reign is among the longest in recorded history. Julia enrolls in Medicare, which was actually slashed by Obama via ObamaCare decades ago and has gone insolvent because Barack Obama blocked all efforts to reform it. Julia can apply for Medicare all she wants, but like Social Security, it is no longer there. The debt driven up by Obama has rendered her dollars practically worthless, to the point that the yuan drives the underground economy. Julia has no memory of any other American president, or of an America that was governed by a thing called the “Constitution,” which though some described as living, has been long dead. Julia only knows that she dearly loves Barack Obama, whose kindly, smiling visage is on the side of every building and on every television every night.

Julia retires two years later, but Obama’s glorious presidency lives on forever. May it last a thousand years.

That’s the end of the the never-ending tale, which Team Obama hopes you share on your social networks. Julia, by the way, is an interesting name for Obama to have given his protected protagonist. A very interesting name.

Bryan Preston has been a leading conservative blogger and opinionator since founding his first blog in 2001. Bryan is a military veteran, worked for NASA, was a founding blogger and producer at Hot Air, was producer of the Laura Ingraham Show and, most recently before joining PJM, was Communications Director of the Republican Party of Texas.
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