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The PJ Tatler

by
Buzzsawmonkey

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October 11, 2011 - 7:20 pm

—apologies to “The Streets of Laredo

As I walked out in the streets of Manhattan
As I walked out in Manhattan one day
I spied a rabble crying “Occupy Wall Street!”
And I drew near to hear what they had to say

I had to approach from a windward position
Handkerchief to nose and with tear-streaming eyes
Because of the stench that lay o’er the encampment
Where basic hygiene they most clearly despise

“Oh, where have you come from and why do you camp here?”
I asked the protesters with their hair like weeds
“Why, man, we have come from all over the nation,
To take a brave stand against corporate greed.”

“But are you not wearing an iPod and iPhone?
And are you not bearing a laptop as well?”
“Yes, but corporations are the root of evil
And if we succeed we’ll send them straight to hell.”

I asked by what right he claimed another’s property
Instead of going to work to gain some of his own?
“My Queer Studies BA,” said he, “keeps me unemployed—
And I still owe a hundred grand in student loans.”

I suggested that he perhaps alter his life plan
Take a job to tide over and then learn a trade
“Oh, no,” he replied, “that is far too difficult—
It’s much easier if all the world were re-made.”

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