Buzz Ballad: It's My Penis, And I'll Lie if I Want To

—apologies to Lesley Gore and “It’s My Party”

It’s my penis and I’ll lie if I want to
Lie if I want to
Lie if I want to
You would lie too if it happened to you…

When the the Twitter feed of my shorts came to light
No-one was more surprised than I
But when I told the Press I had “no certitude”
You know I was telling a lie

It’s my penis and I’ll lie if I want to
Lie if I want to
Lie if I want to
You would lie too if it happened to you…

I claimed Andrew Breitbart made up the whole tale
Perhaps even hacked my account
But my coverup attempts were doomed to fail
As evidence started to mount

It’s my penis and I’ll lie if I want to
Lie if I want to
Lie if I want to
You would lie too if it happened to you…

I finally conceded partial defeat
And at honesty I made a stab
To try and hold fast my Congressional seat
Perhaps I’ll go into rehab
It’s my penis and I’ll lie if I want to
Lie if I want to
Lie if I want to
You would lie too if it happened to you…

Oh, it’s my penis and I’ll lie if I want to
Lie if I want to
Lie if I want to
You would lie too if it happened to you…

It’s my penis and I’ll lie if I want to
Lie if I want to…