When I woke up this morning and saw the clip of the Nobel Prize Committee spokesman announcing that Barack Obama had won the Nobel Peace Prize, I thought that one of the morning talk shows was showing a clip of last night’s SNL Weekend Update parody. Unfortunately, as we now all know, it was all too real.
I can’t say anything more insightful than all of our colleagues on this space and on Commentary’s Contentions site—everyone should read some of their people’s very sharp comments – but I do have this thought about which speechwriter he will use to pen his acceptance speech.
I suggest that he will have to turn to none other than Bill Ayers, and arrange a secret way to ferret the drafts back and forth. Then, he will offer that Ayers and his wife, Bernardine Dohrn, accompany him and Michelle to the ceremony. That will pose a problem. To do that, Ayers would have to agree to wear a tuxedo. True, Bob Dylan wore one when he got the Kennedy Center award. But we’re talking about Bill Ayers- the last living repository of the 60’s revolution; a man whose website proudly displays the Communist Red Star as its emblem. Nothing- not even attending the Nobel ceremony- is reason enough to go bourgeois. And that is a compromise that Comrade Ayers will never make. Remember, some principles cannot be broken.
Then again, when they were all underground, the Weather Bureau cadre were quite good as disguising themselves with false beards, hair dyed different colors, false mustaches and the like. When Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan hosted an award ceremony for an ecology program and was introduced by the then underground and disguised Abbie Hoffman, the Senator and all the press covering the event didn’t notice it was Hoffman in charge, even though he was on the lam from various charges that were pending and both the FBI and the police were constantly on the lookout for him. But, Abbie did have plastic surgery- and I don’t think Ayers has time for that.
So, there is only one thing that will prevent Obama from using Ayers as his speechwriter. The Nobel Prize Committee is planning to give him the Nobel Prize for Literature, in honor of his great memoir, Fugitive Days. You doubt this? No one hates America more for what it stands for than Bill Ayers, as is made clear in his book. He’s a natural. Are you listening, Nobel Prize Committee?