We all know that Muslims are not fond of our porcine friends. The pig is “haraam,” “forbidden” in Islam. And it’s not just the rasher along with the boiled egg or the dinner of pork chops and applesauce that is objected to. Like the Earl of Strafford, Islam’s motto is “Thorough.” “Pigs Enrage Muslim Pupils: Classes on Rural Life Cancelled”: how many headlines like that have you seen in recent years? Note, by the way, the conjunction of the word “offends” and “enraged” in many of the stories. The very idea of this four-footed friend offends Muslims; so when confronted with a pig, or a “pig-related item,” in daily life, they become enraged and start breaking up the furniture.
The tertium quid in the story is provided not by Muslims but by their Western hosts. 1. Muslims are offended. 2. Being offended, they become enraged. 3. We Westerners, confronted with their rage, capitulate.
— Item: “British Banks have banned piggy banks for fear of offending Muslim bankers.”
— Item: “Winnie the Pooh’s piglet and others have been banned in a council office in the UK’s West Midlands.”
— Item: “a school in West Yorkshire banned books containing stories about pigs from the classroom in case they offend Muslim children.”
It is, as a headline in the Telegraph put it, “Making a pig’s ear of defending democracy.”
Of course, pigs are (ban that metaphor!) just the tip of the iceberg. Let’s not get started on cartoons, Danish or any other sort. Just stick with the animal kingdom. What about man’s best friend? Consider this, from a (apparently on-the-level) Muslim advice column:
“Q. I am a 15 year old Muslim American and my mother is buying a dog. I heard that if I touch the dog, I cannot pray. Is this true? What should I do?”
Long walk off a short pier? That would have been my contribution to the debate. But the learned soul who answered the troubled adolescent counseled moderation. True, “Angels do not enter a house wherein there is a dog or pictures” and “The saliva of a dog is Najis (impure). If it touches the clothes or body, that portion also becomes impure and must be washed.” Still, we shouldn’t torture dogs, or even pigs, because, though impure, they still were created by Allah. Bottom line: be polite to your mother about the dog. Tell her what the Koran says. “If she still insists you may have to live with it. In that case make sure you understand the issue of purity and take necessary precautions.”
Pigs. Dogs. Also Octopus. Fans of the World Cup will perhaps remember “Octopus Paul,” the psychic cephalopod who correctly “predicted” six or seven of the games. It looks like the lovable octopus may soon join the ranks of the disavowed. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the Iranian hysteric, has decided that Octopus Paul is “a symbol of all that is wrong with the western world.”
Uh Oh. The friend who sent me the sad news from the London Telegraph — “Mahmoud Ahmadinejad attacks Octopus Paul” — rightly said that it sounded like something out of The Onion. But here’s the problem: how can you tell the difference between satire and “normal” Muslim insanity? It’s a question I haven’t been able to answer, but I hope that guards at the Oberhausen Sea Life Centre, where Paul plies his trade, will be extra vigilant. Look what happened to Theo van Gogh, and all he did was make a movie. Paul is “a symbol of decadence and decay” among people Ahmadinejad has identified “his enemies.” Bad news for Paul!
It all lends weight to the notion that instead of bombing Baghad, we should have loaded cargo jets from the Chicago stockyards and…started WWIII?
If Paul loses his gig as a prognosticator, he can always make a comeback as calamari!
proof, you are brilliant.
Paul is “a symbol of decadence and decay” eh?
Well I say Islam is a symptom of ignorance and inbreeding.
Islam, as it exists in the middle east, is a case study in what happens when a civilization misses out on the Enlightenment.
That really is the nature of their problem. So much of what we take for granted in the civilized world comes directly from the Enlightenment and from the Judeo-Christian tradition from which it sprung. Even Marxism itself is the redheaded step-child of the Enlightenment.
But travel to the middle east and you find cultures steeped not in reason and logic, but rumor and superstition. They look upon us with hatred and resentment precisely because are all that they are not.
I cannot really comment on Islam as it is practiced in the far flung corners of the earth, where it was grafted onto another culture that may or may not be otherwise virtuous. It is my understanding that Islam as it is practiced in the Balkans is of no trouble to anyone. There may be other examples of this elsewhere. I certainly hope so. But if there is not, then I’ve no qualms about calling a spade a spade, or an ignorant death cult an ignorant death cult.
Octopi of Paul’s species only live about 3 years and he’s already over two.
Quick, somebody get Paul to make his picks for
the US elections this November!
“In case.” “For fear.” If the wuh wuh West kuh kuh continues to act wuh wuh with this suh suh sort of anticipuhpuhpatory puh puh pusillaminity then Th Th That’s All Folks. Puh Puh Porky
I came across this quote earlier today. It seems appropriate:
“It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it.”
— Gilbert Keith Chesterton
Theodore Dalyrimple recently had a piece in the Humanist about how when it comes to online dating, Euro-Muslims show themselves to be a lot more relaxed about their religion than we normally think. I find this difficult to understand in light of the kind of stories that usually trickle over here like the ones Mr. K posts, the Car-B-Ques around Paris, the armed guards needed to protect politicians who speak the truth about Islam. But then, it many ways it’s really a lot more political than it is religious, isn’t it?
a friend (who is neither of Christian nor of Muslim heritage) wrote a book about the Balkan conflict of the 1990s, and continues to keep a close eye on developments there. he is emphatic that he would far rather be in the position of Christians in Muslim-majority Bosnia, than of Muslims in Christian-majority Serbia.
see also: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/2004/2004-h/2004-h.htm
Piglet has been banned?
The Heffalump population will be glad to hear it.
“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last, “what’s the first thing you say to yourself?”
“What’s for breakfast?” said Pooh. “What do you say, Piglet?”
“I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting today?” said Piglet.
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
“It’s the same thing,” he said.
Spindok
He’ll have an aneurysm when he discovers Lady Gaga.