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Roger’s Rules

I don’t often associate the name “New York Times Company” with the phrase “good sense of humor,” but I must say today’s press release from that formerly august enterprise did bring a smile to my lips. Oyez, oyez, Hear Ye Now about the “The New York Times Ninth Annual Arts & Leisure Weekend January 7 – 10 at The Times Center.” Yes that’s right, Possums, you are invited to line up for a few days of fun and frolic with people The New York Times believes you will spend $30 a pop to see interviewed. Imagine, you can be the first (possibly the only) bloke on your block to see

— Rosanne Cash, “the Grammy-winner singer-songwriter on “The List,” etc., interviewed by Times “rock critic” Jon Pareles.

Kerchunk!, that’ll be $30 bucks, please. After that mesmerizing performance you indulge your taste for the really grotesque by plopping down another 30 clams to see

— Lee Daniels and Gabourey Sidibe “The director and star of the award-winning new indie film “Precious” interviewed by Patricia Cohen.

That makes $60. But wait, Be still my heart: you can also see

— “All My Children At 40 – Agnes Nixon, Susan Lucci, Cameron Mathison, Rebecca Budig, Debbi Morgan, Julie Hanan Carruthers Creator and head writer, actors, and executive producer of ABC’s “All My Children” discuss the daytime drama launched in 1970 and life in Pine Valley over the past 40 years. The discussion features readings from the show’s groundbreaking scripts. Interviewed by Jacques Steinberg.”

The meter is now at $90. It’s a rich cornucopia they have prepared for the credulous and immature. There are simply scads of other opportunities for profligacy: check them all out here, if you think your stomach can take it. We all should thank little Arthur “Pinch” Sulzberger for this 4-day “signature event.” The emetic possibilities are endless.

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