Moroccan Marriage on Trial in New Jersey
This week, I wrote about a recent New Jersey appellate decision which reversed a lower court ruling which had refused to grant a battered and maritally raped woman a “final restraining order.” This kind of decision — and worse — is made every day in the American court system, and it exposes battered women and abused children to horrific suffering, terrible danger, even death.
On Tuesday, I focused on the main thrust of the decision, which was about granting a restraining order in a case in which domestic violence had occurred — violence which included but was not limited to criminal sexual violence.
That was Tuesday.
On Wednesday, I want to look at the issue of marital rape and of rape in general. We presumably live in a world of “he-said-she-said,” a world in which women sometimes lie about being raped (or battered) — but a world in which rape is beyond epidemic, is still rarely prosecuted, and in which most rapists are never brought to justice.
In 1971, I delivered a keynote speech in New York City at the world’s first-ever radical feminist Speakout on rape. Within a decade, academic studies, popular books, rape crisis centers, rape counseling, a new understanding of what rape is about (power, sadism, not lust or love) and what rape does (it is a specific form of torturous warfare from which victims, like battlefield soldiers, may recover but from which they may permanently suffer), new police procedures and evolving legislation followed. Thereafter, within a quarter-century, further laws (e.g., “rape shield laws”) were passed. Popular television series featured or even specialized in such sex crimes.
Theoretically, rape victims were no longer allowed to be portrayed as “whores” based on their previous sexual and gynecological histories — and “raped” again on the stand. DNA evidence, if it existed, could now determine guilt in certain cases. Mental health professionals, law enforcement, judges and lawyers began to understand that, except in war-zones, rape is more common among those who know each other: husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, schoolmates, neighbors; that comparatively, stranger-rape is rare; that date rape is all-too-common; that men are also raped, but mainly by other men, certainly in prison but also when they are perceived to be homosexuals; that drugs can be administered so that rape victims will not be able to “remember” what happened; that repeated, public gang-rape is also a weapon of war, no longer a mere spoil of war.
In this regard, rape was declared a crime against humanity by the International Criminal Tribunal for the former Yugoslavia. I was tentatively supposed to testify about Rape Trauma Syndrome in the case in The Hague, but there was no funding to either protect or relocate the women who were prepared to testify, and thus, these trials were canceled.
Interestingly, in Woman’s Inhumanity to Woman, I discuss the extent to which female jurors choose to disbelieve female rape victims as well as battered women who kill their batterers in self-defense. Female jurors tend to have more compassion for the accused man than for the woman whom they tend to mistrust and dislike, and whom they are afraid to believe. (If it could happen to her, it could happen to them; it is safer, psychologically, to disbelieve her.) District attorneys try to keep women off juries in such cases. In Womans’ Inhumanity to Woman I explain why this happens.
As a man, if your first memory of your mother is one of abandonment, it will follow suit that you will possess a permanent mistrust of women. This is the story of Ishmael…..out of provisions and fearful of seeing him die, his mother abandons him.
Chronic “dis-ease” in homeopathic medicine is called a “miasm” and is defined as a chronic disease which is inheritable. In the case of Islam, “woman hating” is one such disease.
Often Islamic Men hate their Mothers … because the(ir) Mothers collaborate in forcing them (Men) into Marriage.
The Fact that Islam imposes them (Men) to love their Parents and especially their Mothers,
frustrates Men.
*
Then Islamic Men suffer of a mental Disease called Dissociation: they must hate Women (Muhammad stated that they fill the Hell),
but they must love the(ir) Mother(s).
*
From their very Childhood, Islamic Children are Exposed to the following, which drives to Confusion:
Men/Husbands may hate/batter their Women/Wives (= their Children’s Mothers), and may consider them as inferior Beings,
while Children must love and respect them (= their Mothers).
Don’t bore us with homeopathy, please? Let’s at least try to use that great gift, Reason!
Phyllis, one thing you have to realize: New Jersey (especially Jersey City) is a hotbed of Wahhabi radicalism.
The blind Sheik’s Mosque was in Brooklyn but much of their actual community is in Jersey City.
I remember hearing of honor killings and death threats to force out Jewish and Indian families dating back to 1994 when I lived in the area.
Jersey city was the headquarters for the group that committed the first attack on the WTC. One of my Navy friends lived right down the block from these guys and his trip home from work was interrupted by the mass arrests that took place there.
Along with Tuscon, Minneapolis, Dearborn, and Alexandria, Va; Jersey City has one of the biggest neighborhoods of Wahhabi / Muslim Brotherhood residents in the country and it is only due to the massive cover-up by the media that the public at-large isn’t aware that this hotbed of terrorists exists (along with others that even I am not aware of).
It dismays me that the question still has to be asked.
Rape is rape, honor killings are murder and genital mutilation is gender apartheid, no matter what culture, race, ethnic group, religion, etc. is used to claim exemption. If courts are going to continue to make such exceptions based on excuses that give new meaning to the word “lame,” then perhaps it is time for women and right-thinking men to begin adopting what the senatorial candidate from Nevada has referred to as the “Second Amendment Solution.” In other words, shotgun the bastards, then claim that it is part of YOUR religion, culture, ethnicity or racial makeup to defend yourself against all attempts at subjugation, “by any means necessary.”
i am in complete agreement with you, lou. shoot them, just make sure they are dead. and, if any of their pig squealing friends bother the”widows”, shoot them too. it’s going to come to that. they are going to intrude even further into our society and we are not going to tolerate it. they will have to emigrate back to the old sand dunes in a box.
moslems must follow our laws. period. or we will second that. there is no third option.
I’M WITH YOU, JUDY.
Judy and Nancy: muslims must obey our law.
I am a muslim and I will obey you both to eternity!!
just tell me what to do!!!
You’re pathetic Miriam! A typical mind of a SLAVE. What about starting thinking for yourself?
Finally, someone who understands.
These people have absolutely no intention of assimilating into human society. They are an unfortunate link to the stone age.
Right on!! The only thing these buggers understand is force. When will the yahoos in DC understand that it is better for us to be feared than liked. . .Castration should be the automatic punishment for rape.
The “shotgun solution” is a twisted version of Jefferson’s right of rebellion. But that right only applies when you don’t have peaceful ways out. We do and advocating violence when you can fix things peacefully is evil and also makes it easier for the left to smear the right as violent and not deserving normal protection of the law. Thanks a lot fella, for hurting the cause.
The peaceful way to fix this is to either vote the judge out (if the judge is elected) or to impeach the judge. Pass an equality act making it an impeachable offense to judicially excuse violence based on foreign culture. There are plenty of avenues to fix this without violence. Use them.
You are correct that using violence would be evil. But self-defense is not violence. Self-defense is the perfect antithesis of violence. Self-defense, applied with skill, discipline, and reason in full accord with the law, negates violence and brings peace.
If you are in danger of death or grievous harm at the hands of a person who has no respect for the boundaries of our laws, who regards our laws as things he may ignore and act as he wishes to perform atrocious acts of torture, degradation, assault, rape, even murder, and expects to *get away with it*, then defending yourself with a lawful weapon, legally owned and carried, used responsibly to stop this creature from performing his heinous acts and NOTHING MORE is not violence. It is the creation of peace where it was being previously not in evidence.
I suggest the “zipper method”. Fire to the center of mass, and keep firing up the central nervous system, using the weapon’s recoil to lift it upwards until you are aimed between the eyes, as though following a zipper on a jacket.
Your comment reminds me of a quote by Sir Charles Napier regarding “suttee”:
You say it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. However, where I come from, we also have a custom: When men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre. My carpenters will build a gallows beside it. If you wish, you may practice your custom, but then we will practice ours.
NO means “NO”. PERIOD.
Men are also raped and turned into ‘prostitutes’ just to SURVIVE in jail. THAT is rape also.
RAPE is EVIL. Always. ALL THE TIME.
I was a 17 year old virgin raped by my best friend’s MARRIED brother-in-law. I didn’t turn him in because I PITIED his wife and children if I had brought charges against him. My sister was gang-raped by ‘Frat boys’ when she was too drunk to defend herself or even WALK. SHE didn’t turn ‘them’ in to the police either.
How many ‘rapes’ go unreported? More than you can even FATHOM.
Men who rape men/women/boys are SCUM and should be put to DEATH and we should immediately rid our society of them. Anyone who thinks they can ‘force’ their cock inside someone is VILE and disgusting. Hang ‘em HIGH.
Delia, I am sorry for you and your sister. . . .at the same time, these sob’s MUST be reported-otherwise they are free to do it again. I have a 19 year old daughter. . if any one raped her, or my wife or my son, I would kill them in the most vile way I could. The jail time would be endured.
The man who recently murdered an abortion doctor tried that already. See there are crazy people in all religions.
A rather pathetic attempt at moral relativism there. Is that really the best you can do?
My comment is response to 4. Lou Santacroce. It is not an attempt at moral relativism. Rape is horrible and our system is broken when it comes to restraining orders. My only point is that the guy did shot someone and claim it was for his religion. The court did not go for that argument.
So what’s your point, or more precisely, what’s your motivation for raising that case? There is not an epidemic of Christians shooting infidels, murdering wives and daughters, blowing themselves on packed city busses, or flying airplanes into skyscrapers. Nor, for that matter, of Jews, Hindus, or Shintoists doing any of those things.
And, as you accurately note, the shooter you mention was convicted, and rightfully so. Why should not a a rapist of this ilk go to jail, too?
Oops, sorry, “…blowing themselves UP”, obviously!
Even in the poorest countries like Haiti, women live longer than men…except, of course, in Muslim/Arab countries. It starts w/arranged marriages, practically no health care for women & marital rape, then it’s all downhill from there.
No means no, Hajji, even if Mohammed said Allah said it was okay– this is America, we infidels let women drive, own money and have an opinion too so get used to it!
[Following 1. Ginger Singer]
Unfortunately there are much more “Women Haters” than (“just”) Islamic/-ist People,
that’s why Words/Defamations such as “Islamophobes!” and “Racists!” are even used against Activists such as Wafa Sultan and Ayaan Hirsi Ali.
*
Now, in The West we do have Psychiatrists in Love with Freudian Psychology (which is different from Karl Gustav Jung’s one), which is misogynist,
who work at academical Level and support the “Islamophobes!/Racists!” Thesis.
Which means, WE (IN THE WEST) have “great” Examples of Misogynists, hidden behind great Titles such as “Professor”, “Director”, “Doctor”, …,
who can’t be but very happy about the Advancement of Islam-ism and its doctrinal Shari’a.
*
Even FEMALE Multiculturalists might actually suffer of an inner Form or Misogyny and Chauvisim, which means,
a Form or self Hatred (that they un-consciously absorbed in the Environment they lived in/within).
Many of them are … Liberals, and in Love with so called “III. World” (as, by the Way, Mister President is).
*
“Hatred against Women/Females/ … MOTHERS”: a very complex Matter,
whose Roots are very deeply hidden “Underground”.
*
Thank you Dr. Chesler for your Fighting: you’re a bright Star, a shining Diamond.
There may be a perception that the Obamist revolution has peaked and that the next two years will be a period of retreat and defeat for his partisans. If they were insufferable in their brief flush of “We Won” triumph then they may become positively dangerous as they feel cornered. Partisan judges may unload a series of rulings granting favored minorities special privileges to commit mayhem, blatant vote rigging may occur, private property may be seized, and the government may both refuse to execute the laws and prevent the States from protecting themselves. Now we know that each of those cases is to ridiculous to ever happen in reality but, well never mind.
According to Andrew McCarthy:
“Islam is a comprehensive political, social and economic system with it’s own authoritarian legal framework, Sharia Law, which aspires to govern all aspects of life.”
While we sit around talking about it’s effects in the West, Islamists use our own system – hopelessly chained to PC aan its morally relative outlook – to persuade the weak-minded to consent to Islam’s tyranny in all it’s forms; political, social and economic.
Either we stop this evil in its tracks OR we gradually get suffocated and succumb (which is a tactic in itself). We’re getting no help at all from the WH in the fight against Islam; so Dr. Chesler is on the front lines; bravely standing her ground against the monster Islam.
Than Dr. Chesler
Don’t forget this item:
A female Egyptian lawyer, identified as Nagla Al-Iman, was interviewed on Saudi Arabian television and advocated “sexual harassment” of Israeli women by Muslim men as a form of resistance to the Israeli government. Speaking from Cairo, Al-Iman said “This is a form of resistance. They are fair game for all Arabs, and there is nothing wrong…it”. She appeared to see the sexual harassment or rape of Israeli women as retribution for what she characterized as Israeli “rape” or occupation of Palestine.
http://www.eyeblast.tv/public/checker.aspx?v=XdaGSUVr4z
Yes, anyway you might try and read this. I wonder if it’s Right. If so, Islamic Authorities not just condemn Apostates, but harshly defame them: http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/the-strange-%e2%80%94-and-tragic-%e2%80%94-case-of-nagla-imam/?singlepage=true
Israeli women carry guns, and they are not afraid to use them.
I finally found the limits of your commitment to free speech, I see.
Never mind; the Internet has many forums, and you can’t control them all.
In fact, the judge mandated visits between these frightened and traumatized children and their violent father.
There is something radically wrong with society generally and most probably because we have thrown out the ethics given us through previous religious teachings.
Last week saw in Israel the murder of three young children by a deranged father.
The mother who had been separated from him was threatened by “Social Services” that they would remove the children from her custody if she refused the father access to them.
The father was released from psychiatric observation prior to this shocking affair.
Of course the flip side are the numerous cases where fathers who should be allowed access to their children are denied it.
Should Men Get Married?
kol ha kavod !
Why, Dr. Chesler, how very culturally insensitive of you. This is part of their unique and valuable culture which is as worthy of respect as every other culture–except ours, of course, which is uniquely oppressive. We shouldn’t be making judgments. You know, some cultures punish rape and abuse of women and some see it as an important part of their cultural expression, and who’s to say which is better?
Gentlemen,
To those who are thinking ‘involuntary sex doesn’t seem like the worst thing in the world’ might I recommend you imagine the following scenario:
You are forcibly rolled onto your stomach.
A broomstick is inserted anally.
The broomstick is vigorously inserted and removed for a few minutes.
People wonder why you are complaining about it so loudly, while wearing your blood-soaked depends.
Sorry for the bad visuals, but there are guys who really don’t understand why rape is bad. I didn’t understand it myself until a girlfriend gave me a first hand discription.
HOW MUCH WILL AMERICA HAVE TO TAKE BEFORE WE ALL STAND UP AND SAY NO MORE?
NANCY said:
“HOW MUCH WILL AMERICA HAVE TO TAKE BEFORE WE ALL STAND UP AND SAY NO MORE?”
Look around. Our butts are already rising off our chairs…
Ms. Chesler – I am going to agree with part with you, and disagree in part. The part I with which I disagree is when you say,”We presumably live in a world of “he-said-she-said,” a world in which women sometimes lie about being raped (or battered) — but a world in which rape is beyond epidemic.” I do not think that calim is true for America. Unfortunately, I have seen too many instances of women claiming rape and destroying men’s lives. (If women’s identities are kept secret when they accuse a man of rape, why isn’t right accorded the man until the verdict is rendered?) Indeed, some feminists think that any sexual encounter is rape and claim that college campuses are dens of inquity where a huge portion of women have been raped. Such claims simply trivialize the issue, and you come very close to doing so in the statement I cited.
Having said that, I am in full agreement with you on the issue of battered women. If a woman does not want to be with a man then she should ask the court for a restraining order and she should be granted one. For the judge in New Jersey not to have done so under the circumstances you present is simply reprehensible. Indeed, the Legislatures of the several states should step in and draft laws laying out the conditions for such restraining orders to issued. That is lot more persuasive than allowing this matter to be developed through case law. As you note, some judges need to return to law school because they have forgotten their own state’s case law. They may have be more sensitive to a law that has been legislated.
Finally, I agree with HUSKY @ #8 (and Andy McCarthy) regarding the nature of Islam: It is a fascist political movement pretending to be a religion: it is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Jack, you’re not actually right about the prevalence or consequence of false claims. Campus rape politics have indeed imposed bias and politics on campuses, and schools have no business investigating sex crimes in any way, as many do now.
But this has not resulted in many false prosecutions (try to think of some, outside the tiny number of very well-known cases). It does feed an atmosphere on campuses of generalized blame and complaint against certain groups of men. But there’s a big difference between criticism and prosecutions, and there are virtually no false prosecutions. In fact, twenty-plus years into Innocence Project activism, which is extremely well-funded, well-publicized, and well-staffed, there is absolutely no evidence that men anywhere are being convicted for rapes that did not occur. Even the number of men convicted for a (real) rape they didn’t commit is statistically insignificant (230 over some 40 years of prosecutions and millions of rapes, and several of these men are not actually innocent). Individually tragic? Yes, unless the guy is a serial rapist popped for the wrong crime, which isn’t unusual in that group, or not actually innocent.
Over the same time, millions of rapes have gone unsolved or unprosecuted — and thus unpunished — even after the feminists of the Seventies revised rape law (and, more importantly, rape policy). Millions have been denied justice, and as Dr. Chelser details here, we are now in danger of surrendering some of our sadly fragile progress in rape conviction. Failure to convict is the real systemic injustice, and it must be the urgent conversation when we talk about rape law, rather than the relentless focus on an injustice that is actually exceedingly rare and in virtually every case resolved long before it reaches the courts. The real problem with the campus feminists is that they are very selective in their outrage — they don’t care about prosecution in cases that don’t satisfy their politics. But their politics have not resulted in some imaginary tidal wave of falsely prosecuted, let alone convicted, men.
Dear Jack,
I know you mean well, but I have to tell you that America’s landscape is riddled with dead women and children who were “Protected” by official restraining orders.
Most recently publicized case occurred in Florida, where a judge gave the man the benefit of the doubt and another chance, while the wife was begging the court to keep this beast away from her. She had a restraining order. She’s dead and so is her child.
Restraining orders mean NOTHING to crazy men. Indeed, the second amendment solution should become more popular among women who have useless restraining orders,because the courts sure don’t give a damn.
Just another example, as if any more are needed that the 7th century cave stooge based cult is not compatible with any society. Mohammad (HBUH) was an cowardly opportunist who created laws and rules to cover his male hoard as they raped, pillaged, plundered and murdered anyone who did not kiss his hind quarters.
May all of his followers who adhere to the self appointed prophet of evil ways follow him to hell where he undoubtedly resides today.HBUH – Hellfire be upon him
Martial Rape, like battery charges, has to be prosecuted carefully during a divorce. I have friends who spent time in jail on false rape and assault charges by soon-to-be ex-wives. In one rape case the lack of evidence was so overwhelming, the wife was charged with filing a false police report.
Filing these charges has become the ultimate act of revenge by vindictive women during an ugly divorce. I’m not surprised a NJ judge doesn’t take these charges seriously – she probably sees them all the time and 95% are BS.
I believe rape, even marital rape, is a crime. However, until law enforcement and the courts find a way to separate the false charges from the real, judges will continue to take the claims lightly.
ANY woman that ‘falsely’ charges ‘rape’ should have her head on a pike too. They make it that much harder to prosecute REAL rape.
For every ‘false’ rape charge, I bet you dollars to donuts there are 10 REAL rapes that go UNREPORTED.
Men who rape are evil, vile SCUM of the earth and slimey women who report ‘false’ rape are just as repugnant.
I have no way of knowing the actual to reported rapes – or the number of false claims – I’ve seen cases of both.
“I have friends who spent time in jail on false rape and assault charges by soon-to-be ex-wives.”
Really? You know several men like this? All innocent and falsely accused? Of rape? Convicted? Incarcerated? I’m sorry. I just don’t believe you. These are the actually easy claims to make and hard to prove . . . to paraphrase a certain judge.
“Filing these charges has become the ultimate act of revenge by vindictive women during an ugly divorce.”
Yeah, and vindictive men have their own ways of getting revenge on women. Sometimes that is through rape.
I repeat: WHY DO WE ALLOW PEOPLE FROM HOSTILE CONTRARY CULTURES INTO AMERICA???? The day of reckoning is fast approaching. Even the lefties who want them here to destroy us from within will have to confront this reality. KEEP THEM OUT.
We have allowed the followers of religion of crime(all criminal practices are enshrined by their leader in their book, practices and the followers dutifully and gleefully follow it as sanctioned by their ideal man!!!) and now we wonder what is going on in our country???? But the MSM and the political leaders still don’t get. All Muslim immigration should have been stopped after 9/11, instead it has steadily increased and nobody cares!!! Talk about morons and we see them in Washington!!
Nancy, you ask:”HOW MUCH WILL AMERICA HAVE TO TAKE BEFORE WE ALL STAND UP AND SAY NO MORE?”
I think America has taken too much abuse already from the promoters of PC and multi-culturism. As long as this culture stays with us, there is no hope for any change. Any body who comes here and doesn’t want to live like a decent and normal human being following our laws should be immediately deported!!! It is as simple as that!!!
Here’s the truth about Islam for anyone who cares to see:
The Legacy of Jihad: Islamic Holy War and the Fate of Non-Muslims (Andrew Bostom)
and
The Suicide of Reason: Radical Islam’s Threat to the West (Lee Harris)
Islam is a serial murderer of entire cultures and peoples. This is what Islam has done throughout its entire history. It enslaves, diminishes and impoverishes those whom it does not destroy. For its psychopathic regard and brutal treatment of women alone, it is an abomination. Islam cannot be “reformed” – if that were so, it would cease to be Islam.
Islam IS the enemy. Islam must be marginalized and cast back into the pathological, midaeval hell from which it came.
WHEN A COURT in the USA is unable to say that, a woman—raped and battered—is to remain unprotected—Sharial law, notwithstanding—yeah, I would say, something’s rotten—quite rotten—in Hoboken; and probably, in every way, . . . as appears, their new Governor has a full battle ahead, . . .
But at some remove even before the simple sense in alleviation of suffering to another of our kind—we are social creatures—as at one time might plainly have precluded the clanking constitutional error in understanding which—at first hearing before an American judge—for this case was to have remained silent, the contest for supremacy between civil and religious power in proper jurisdictional sphere of influence had been once and for all time, settled in law in the epic struggle between that English monarch and the head of the Church at Rome—between a law of representative democracy of The People writ large in the person of their king and the emissary of G0D and his administrative law, a kind of war it was—we had hoped that, that question we had been done with, and for our nations it could be set aside as finished.
Has some great mistake been entered into—instead of English, should this world’s peoples all this time have been learning a language preferred by Moslem speakers; for, coming from the commonwealth of New Jersey, we see what is tantamount to an attempt to void—even to rewrite—what was the outcome of that turning point in English history—and perhaps, all that was to come after. And were the NJ judge’s thinking to have been left left in place, if only for one, what an obtuse appearance our Episcopalian brethren must needs now fulfill—did the power, active in England at that time, then make a mistake—if the Roman Catholic leaders with their papal law were not then and thereafter to retain the say-so in law for the English speaking people, is it for us now to bow before Imams and to receive their ideas of law in the Sharia, ourselves, thus constrained to redo the same question of law, but now with another force, . . .
But from the logic as that of the learned judge in New Jersey, May G0d soon deliver us, . . .
And so, to a principal question of of our dear author: No. Having missed a principal something of why there are different kinds of laws in general, and specifically, having missed that of the supremacy of law (United States law) in the United States, no, I, for one, could entertain no reasonable expectation that, by yet another pass through the turnstiles, the learned judge may be expected to obtain benefit, . . . not in the least, . . .
… In some cases i do believe that a persons religious beliefs and sacred laws must be respected in order for the American experiment to survive, We musn’t blame the mass but for the actions of the few…
… on the other hand, i believe that dangerous men or woman who violate anyone’s natural and or civil rights, – especially that crime of battery and sexual misconduct and rape, should be tried according to the law of the land.
… full prosecution under those laws must lay these horrific bastards low! god forbid that a US soldier carry a bible in Baghdad. crimes against women or any other creature that is weaker than the oppressor, deserve everyone’s attention,anger and outcry! …
“We musn’t blame the mass but for (sic) the actions of the few…”
Thank you gregz.
Kindly remember that, and tell all your friends, next time someone alleges that his cousin’s wife’s nephew heard a tape from one of those Tea Party rallies where you can hear an unidentified voice shouting something that might be very rude, or might just be “Hi, neighbor!”, but the quality of the tape is very poor and there’s no way to tell who is saying it anyway.
I don’t understand why this should be a controversy at all. Rape is rape. You can dress a pig in a silk dress, but it’s still a pig. What about that is so hard for our western “intellectuals” and jurists to understand?
Muslims who move West to get a better life should be subject to the laws of the country they move to. Period.
I learned about Islam and New Jersey the hard way. The 17 year old girl who appealed the decision above, was incredibly courageous!!! What people forget, is that for every BRAVE lady, like her and Rifqa Bary, there are literally thousands, who are terrified into submission.
(and for each single “honor killing”, there are thousands who give up their dreams, and submit.)
Few understand the paralyzing terror of reality. But I suspect these stories are much more common than people realize…
- – -
A gentle wonderful lady I knew and had worked with (she had a Master’s Degree), asked ME out for drinks (I don’t drink. But she does.).
It was true magic from the start. But, in the very first week, she said she was not Muslim, but concealed it from her Muslim Father out of fear. We even seriously discussed her real fears about potential honor killing. Quotes from her TO me:
“… I’ve told you a thousand times that I DON’T believe in Islam.”
“Again, I think there are a lot of evil teachings in Islam”
“And I DON’T believe that Islam is a good religion.”
Later, while taking my child to a Chuckie Cheese while visiting her in NJ, I got lost. I read her street names, and then I noticed her hand LITERALLY SHAKING.
I inquired, and she said “If it is this close to my Father’s house, we can’t go. I said “huh? we are just taking a child to Chuckie Cheese…”. She said, “We can’t go. Someone might see me there.”. So I turned the car around.
I am an honorable military veteran. I’ve seen people scared. But in my life, I never saw a hand literally shake in terror before. Just from the fear of being seen in a Chuckie Cheese, with a child?
Later she wrote:
” I need a good cry but I can’t because I’m at work.
I just wish I could run away with you like so many people do.
But that’s not so easy in the real world, right?
I wish God would just give us the wisdom to fix this so we
could spend our life together.
Bill, even if we don’t end up together I want only the best for
you. … you’re such a good person. ”
She tried to overcome her fear in the following months. She said her greatest dream in life, was to have a “fat” baby. But she would never marry a Muslim, and could not marry a non-Muslim.
So, she asked me, to learn to “pretend” to be a Muslim, as she did. So, I even went to a Masjid, to learn about Islam (As did her previous Fiancee…. She told me to prove my love, with actions not words. And it was very educational… I learned fast, and I even was allowed to attend a tri-state “Dawa” meeting. I learned about “taquiyya” from the inside… Robert Spencer is exactly correct, in all his writings!)
Finally, she told me she wanted to marry me, and she asked me to buy her an engagement ring.
(She wrote: “I need to be free of my family” and “…because I love you and wish I could spend the rest of my life with you.”)
So the next time I visited her in NJ, my young child (who she also loved), offered her the ring. It was specially textured. She said it was beautiful, and she loved it. She wanted it. But she said she “couldn’t” accept it.
because
“Now they are watching me more closely than ever”.
Her EXACT words. I will never forget them.
(I wish I could! …Imagine hearing the woman you love, and want to marry, being “watched”, terrorized and treated like an animal? In America ?!?
A woman I would have gladly given my life to protect!)
Then, we discussed her being “watched”, etc., and I said a grown woman with a Master’s Degree should not constantly live in fear, of a religion she doesn’t even believe in, and she should tell the truth to her Father.
(Wrong thing to say!!!. Even the IDEA of confronting him, made her panic.
She then said, if her Father found out about us, that we were “intimate”, she would (falsely) accuse me of rape, to protect herself! THAT is how terrified she was, of her Father learning the truth.
… I reminded her, that her emails and “gifts” prove I did not. So then she threatened to call my Boss, and get me fired, if her Father found out about us. After that, I left with my child. I wasn’t even angry at her. I understood her terror of constantly “being watched. I had witnessed her hand literally shaking. I felt only pity.
A YEAR later, the woman who loved me, and wrote “I just wish I could run away with you “, told the NJ Court, that 2 years earlier, I had made “terroristic threats” to kidnap her and take her to an “undisclosed location”.
Her NJ affidavit claimed our relationship ended a year BEFORE I offered her the ring.
(Yet she even admitted in NJ Court, I had done nothing, for the 9 months prior to her suddenly making the accusations. Yet suddenly she needed “protection” from me, when I lived in another state, and had done nothing in the previous year, by her own admission?
… My guess is, the Father was suspicion, or found out somehow. So she had to “prove” that she wanted nothing to do with me. To protect herself, just as she had threatened to do, when she told me they were watching her.)
From FIRST learning of this, I had less than 24 hours notice, to drive to NJ, and appear in court. Then, the NJ Court did NOT allow me to show any evidence, including emails proving she was afraid of her Father, not me. (Or her own emails, that proved we had an intimate relationship, a year after her sworn affidavit claimed it ended.) I was refused permission to even read a short statement, or to mention the previous fiancee she had similarly accused of abusing her, after she had asked him to convert to Islam (in emails, so it wasn’t hearsay.).
(And, in fact, the next year, she even volunteered to work beside me again, where we first met. Right where she first asked me out for drinks. Proving clearly she was never afraid of me… even after this.)
Yet, without ANY evidence, she was granted a final protection order, by NJ. For totally unsubtantiated “threats” she claimed occurred a year earlier.
( The NJ Court is notorious for granting orders without ANY evidence. Unless the man is Muslim, as in the “Sharia” case in the article above, showing even a more glaring bias in favor of Sharia law and Islam.)
That was many years ago. Last year, I became engaged to a wonderful Christian woman, who is not afraid of her own Father. We plan to marry in Nov. So I am very happy now. But I still feel pity, for all the thousands of women, who live in terror, and who are not free to live their own lives, and follow their own hearts and dreams…
Thank you for that Report. But do you know what do I feel (now – your Report is one among several/many other Reports -)?
That I feel no Pity for them: at another Level, the whole West and the whole “Infidel” (= “Non-islamic”) World is defamed by so called (terrified …) “Believers”.
*
They do not show Rebellion to their (bloody/bloodthirsty) Doctrine? “Thank” them! This means the whole World (we too …) will be submitted to that TERROR!
How many “would be” Dissindents are there in every Totalitarian Regime, who “shut up”, “say Nothing” out of (real, undestandable) Fear? This anyway doesn’t have no Consequences:
their Silence and inconsistent Agreement to “the System” helps “the System” spreading; not to mention the Mental Sickness they develop,
and they spread.
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Do we want to live in a Society/World of such a Sickness? Do we want that for our Children and Nephews?
*
If we think that Post Traumatic Therapy, in the (US) Army, was assigned to a Psychiatrist … which was an Islamic Men (see: your ex Girlfriend’s Father), and a very indoctrinated/diseased/insane one!
And I say, that those Islamic Children must live the whole Life very close to their hateful Parents, and even show Love and Respect to them! Imagine what a disturbed Personality do they develop,
which is not just a Matter/Business of theirs, but it is a Matter/Business of ours, too. (…)
This is what’s suppose to happen. The CFR controled sold out government allows these Muslims into America. They have no intention of being American.
So what happens? Chaos, and folks around America get more divided. Throw in illegal aliens on top of that. Some from Muslim countries.
Vote for all Tea party members in November, to help turn America back to a Nationalist country, not a sold globalist Marxist country.
Also, BZO or Die, because the government does not care about you. Just your taxes.
The question here also concerns the quality of U.S. judges and their often abysmal lack of knowledge of foreign customs that are illegal under U.S. law. They are using the old “moral equivalency” philosophy which our President uses when he goes around the world telling dictators and dictatorial theological countries that we respect their laws and customs.
Gee, Obama would have been a big hit in Hitler’s Germany regarding the Nuremberg laws.
However, too many US judges don’t know U.S. laws and case precedents, as Mark Levin so eloquently proved today on the illogical decision of the judge in Arizona on the new immigration enforcement law. She used hypothetical future situations to base a decision on rather than established case precedence.
This is a result of the combined marxist/liberal domination of most law schools. The communists teach other radicals how to use the law to subvert and destroy our laws and the Constitution. The liberals think that the Constitution is old-fashioned and out of date, or is a a “living document” that can be changed whenever they feel like it.
Proof in point. One of Hillary’s law professors at Harvard was Thomas I. Emerson, an oldtime Communist Party member/supporter and she worked for the Communist Party members created law firm of Gary, Treuhaft, Burstein, etc.
Obama studied under white-hater, Reparationist movement legal leader, Charles Ogletree. Apparently Att. Gen. Eric Holder also studied under him.
Former FBI Director Louis Freeh, in his book, said that the law professor at Rutgers Law School that he admired the most was Arthur Kinoy, one of the top 5 Communist Party/affiliated attorneys of all time, and partner of William Kunstler, id. CPUSA member Morton Stavis, and Peter Weiss, the CP-sympathizer whose wife, Cora Weiss (A red diaper baby by her Soviet-connect father, Samuel Rubin), was the cruelest of the Hanoi Lobby leaders.
If you don’t believe me, look at how many leftist Jewish lawyers serve the jihadists, the PLO Lobby, and other anti-Israel individuals and organizations out of ideological affinity, not as a legal duty per se.
Kagan, Sotomayor, Ruth Ginsburg are the prime examples of how a liberal legal eduation can result in the destruction of the Constitution and the American legal system. Creeping Sharia Law is one result of their line of thinking (i.e. taking into consideration re a decision of their own life experiences and of international law. Most of the world’s population lives under either Communist or Islamic law. Did you ever stop to think of that? Why should these two tyrannical systems ever be considered as being an influencing factor on U.S. Constitutional law? Why, because those lawyers and judges who don’t want to follow US laws, are often universalists, as the Obamas are, and don’t consider our system worthing of emulation, only of emasculation. Others are ignorant, hate America, or just incompetent).
New Jersey is only a microcosm of what is wrong with our legal/judicial system. Starting with Nov. 2nd, the Second American Revolution will take place, and it will be a battle of the Constitutionalists versus the universalists/leftists.
Our Dept. of Justice has already been heavily compromised in favor of terrorists, minorities, illegals, wacko environmentalists, and congressional crooks. If we lose on Nov. 2nd, America may lose its last chance to save our culture, traditions, and laws.
Slow down.
Many cases of alleged rape are looked at closely by women who know that things are not always as the alleged “victim” says. Several such cases have been widely reported: e.g., William Kennedy Smith in florida (the women came back to his house, they drank, it was 3:00 in the morning, he was a kennedy for goodness sake, there were other reasons to believe it was consensusal) and the man, who appeared to be a decent guy, was aquitted; same with Kobe Bryant in Colorado, when he was charged by some waitress who went to his room as I recall; the same with the Duke LaCrosse team. In Los Angeles, a woman accussed 8 men of assaulting her–her story fell apart when a videotape she had helped make showed her virtually directing the entire affair.
fortunately for any man charged with the crime by a PC DA’s office, many sensible woman on juries apply their own common sense experience. Often more than the DA. Thank goodness for that.
Marital rape cases are often harder to assess. A woman’s claim is only the begining and this article suggests that it is the end. Its not.
Its true that no court should allow a religious defense: “Its just what we believe in” is offensive and should never be allowed. But this article does not provide enough facts to differ with the judges on what has to be a “per case” analysis.
See also, of course, the “Duke Lacrosse” case. Unfortunately, false rape allegations are not uncommon.
There was a man in Nebraska several years ago who was convicted of raping his girlfriend’s teenage daughter on no evidence other than her say-so. Several years later the girl had an attack of conscience and admitted she invented the whole story to torpedo her mother’s romance with the guy.
About a week before 9/11 a black woman in Texas claimed she had been gang-raped by white men who carved “KKK” on her chest with a knife. The police became skeptical when they saw the K’s were backward. Sure enough, the cretin had carved them herself in front of a mirror and the “crime” was bogus.
While the 2nd example above, like Tawana Brawley and the Duke lacrosse case, was a racial hoax as well as a rape hoax, the fact remains that false rape accusations and convictions do occur, Tina Trent’s claims notwithstanding. Further, those “rape shield” laws that Ms. Chesler is so fond of should be scrapped as clear violations of the 6th Amendment right of the accused to confront his accuser. I can think of no other crime which allows anonymous accusation.
Rape is a serious felony, and AFAIC it should again be a capital crime. That said, we must not let political correctness corrupt the rules of law and evidence. Those accused of rape, like those accused of any other crime, must be presumed innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. Also, the grand jury system must resume its role as a safeguard against frivolous prosecutions; these days it is little more than the DA’s plaything.
If I may offer a humble correction, actually, the boy ‘hanged’ himself; although, I doubt that he is worried about the past tense of hang. A curious verb, not that verbs are particularly intelligent: yet when cultivated, they appear to have more dignity.
Everyone should obey the laws of the land but not everyone breaks the law. Jersey is a great place to live I want to live there some day to be more specific it would be Jersey City. Jersey has ton’s of great things like there local news there news is always action packed.