Is Santa Canadian? Future Prime Minister Isn’t Sure, Doesn’t Care
If America has any plans to claim the North Pole as U.S. territory, just wait a few years. Justin Trudeau will let you have it without a fight.
December 10, 2013 - 8:00 am
Every year, Canadian kids write letters to Santa, and he writes back — with a little help from his trusty “elves” at Canada Post.
You just have to address your letter to “Santa Claus, North Pole, Canada,” along with the postal code “H0H 0H0.”
Cute, right? It’s a little thing, but it speaks to the fact that Canada considers the North Pole and its environs part of its sovereign territory.
We’ve been printing our maps that way for over a century, even before anyone realized that this godforsaken region boasted trillions of dollars worth of natural resources.
Not surprisingly, not everyone agrees on who owns what, so the matter’s been turned over to the UN. That means the matter won’t be resolved for years, if ever.
Asked what he thought about the issue, Liberal Party leader (and presumed future Canadian prime minister) Justin Trudeau shrugged that he’d leave it for “scientists” and “experts” to decide, and added that he didn’t want to turn it into a tawdry “political” matter.
Wow, what inspiring leadership! And hey, what could be less “political” than… the borders of your own country?
Shipping lanes? Defensive military outposts? Oil and gas revenues? Whatever!
And never mind international law or history or even folklore. “Science” is the only guide you need to everything! It’s never wrong!
It’s easy to imagine Justin’s dad, for all his many faults, answering the question very differently when he was prime minister:
“We own the North Pole! Hell, we own the moon, too! [Insert French swear words.]”