Get PJ Media on your Apple

PJM Lifestyle

3 Washington D.C. Drivers Who Deserve Dante’s Inferno

There's a special place in hell for these motorists...

by
Becky Graebner

Bio

September 19, 2013 - 3:30 pm
Page 1 of 4  Next ->   View as Single Page

fire-balefire-hell

Maybe you take two spots up front near the Best Buy. Or refuse to cede the left lane. Or tailgate, then slow down when we get out of your way.

You, sir, are a terrible driver. And for that, you’re going straight to Hell. We’re not guessing here, we’re just taking the word of every driver in a mile-wide radius around you at any given moment.

Your day of reckoning is coming, but unfortunately for the rest of the netherworld, you’re probably still going to qualify for a driver’s license down there. (Hell is apparently a lot like Florida, minus the wacky elections.) But what are you going to drive? It’d take forever to get your current wheels past their crazy-strict emissions tests.

No need. Hell has its own fleet of cars, and you get one assigned to you. Because it’s Hell, they’re matched to your particular driving sins here on earth. So don’t act surprised when you cross the river Styx, only to see one of these fresh horrors parked in your reserved spot.

This is the introduction to a great article, “The Nine Cars You’ll Drive in Hell,” published by Motor Authority.

After reading, laughing, and shaking my head “yes” to most of the article, I knew I had to explain Washington D.C.’s own, special circle in “car hell.” D.C. is notorious for its bad drivers.  The natives are aggressive, the visitors clueless and unprepared, and the roads are always under construction. It’s a bad mix. If there are nine cars that are driven in Hell, then there is definitely a special circle reserved for some of D.C.’s worst drivers–and their stereotypical vehicle-weapon of choice.  Here’s the short guide…

Comments are closed.

All Comments   (8)
All Comments   (8)
Sort: Newest Oldest Top Rated
I am a DC driver. When I visited LA a few years back and rented a car, I found out I was the most aggressive driver on the road, whether Sunset Boulevard or Rodeo Drive. No. Really. I was surprised. After all, LA is, and has been, the Utopia for cars as transport. I guess LA drivers had simply mellowed out as part of evolving as drivers. I as a menace. But, my menacing driving stood me in good stead when driving in Boston.
51 weeks ago
51 weeks ago Link To Comment
"I as a menace"

I WAS a menace.

WHEN will PJM have an edit button? INstapundit uses the same tool, and HE has an EDIT button! :-(
51 weeks ago
51 weeks ago Link To Comment
More properly, this is the "Divine Comedy." "Dante's" is only a section of it.
51 weeks ago
51 weeks ago Link To Comment
Taxis.
51 weeks ago
51 weeks ago Link To Comment
I'll be driving in Hell what I drove around DC after I got out of the service, either an F-150 truck or a 3/4 ton service van.

In either case, the "Tonnage Law of Navigation" applies...get OUT of my way or I'll CRUSH YOU!

Oddly enough, driving in DC Metro isn't too bad as long as you're getting paid to do it. I'm rather contemplative by nature, so it was fairly easy for me to enter a Zen-like state and reflect on the implicit meta-lesson that the people who run our Federal government, and spend decades driving east in the morning and west in the evening on I-66, cause god-awful traffic jams because they don't equip themselves with sunglasses...
51 weeks ago
51 weeks ago Link To Comment
Agree with the Beemer drivers being a danger to everyone around them. I've also thought for a long time that a larger than average portion of people who drive minivans seem to drive like idiots as well. And bikers on crotch-rockets.
51 weeks ago
51 weeks ago Link To Comment
Just three? I refuse to drive there anymore. When driving from Toledo to the Va. Peninsula I actually drop down through West Virginia & western Virginia. It's a bit longer but I avoid the Beltway, which I mistakenly hit one Friday afternoon in August. Never, ever do that.
51 weeks ago
51 weeks ago Link To Comment
The Beltway? On a Friday? In the summer? Afternoon?

YOU FOOL!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3djXcx2ewQ

:D

51 weeks ago
51 weeks ago Link To Comment
View All