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An Act of Radical Virginity

Commit acts of random chastity!

by
Sarah Hoyt

Bio

August 14, 2013 - 2:00 pm
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Being over twenty and a virgin in NYC is enough of a radical act that a woman turned it into a one-woman show and built an entire comedy routine on it.

Alexis Lambright was a confirmed virgin in NYC for 10 years. Determined to hold on to her innocence, the Catholic schoolgirl was committed to a life of celibacy — until marriage. But when she realized that dating in the most superficial city in the world wasn’t virgin-friendly, the 28-year-old funnywoman living in Sunnyside, Queens, turned to comedy as therapy: She created the one-woman show “The Alexis Lambright Tell-A-Thon: Combating Adult Virginity,” which is running at the New York International Fringe Festival on select dates from Saturday to Aug. 24.

It used to be perfectly normal to be a virgin till marriage, at least for women. In fact, in most societies it was the expected thing.  The pivotal turning point in Jane Austen’s Pride and  Prejudice comes when one daughter, Lydia, elopes and lives with a man who has no intention of marrying her.

Even during my own upbringing, which, granted, took place in Portugal where things were twenty years behind the times, while virginity before marriage was no longer universal, girls at least still pretended to be holding out.

But I’d heard from Scandinavian friends that in their lands it was considered strange and indicative of something wrong with you if you were a virgin much past puberty – and that culture seems now to be here too.

To be sure, we always knew it was coming, since movies like Splendor in the Grass made it sound like not having sex could send an otherwise sane woman clean off her rocker. In a way it is a logical consequence of safe and reliable contraception.  Whether you believe that women are naturally as sex-crazed as men, or that women would have as much consequence-free sex as men given the chance, the fact remains that all of us, men and women, are in fact social animals.

When the society we live in decides that “normal” people are all rutting like deer in fall, and that if you don’t do it there’s something wrong with you, those who don’t fit the model will at least try to pretend they do.

Under those circumstances, holding on to your chastity becomes an act of radical defiance.

Comments are closed.

Top Rated Comments   
The really funny part is, all you have to do to commit an act of radical virginity is... nothing. You just don't have sex; that's it. Yet this gets you a lot of the same pejorative treatment and outright persecution as you get for other acts of radical inaction such as not watching TV, not drinking booze, and not buying worthless crap. Activists are incredibly bigoted toward inactivists.
35 weeks ago
35 weeks ago Link To Comment
I'm a 34-year-old virgin -- and YES, I ABSOLUTELY intend to be radical and defiant about it.
35 weeks ago
35 weeks ago Link To Comment
I have told my daughter that, while she is free to make her own decisions, she is not free to abuse language in my presence. A "committed relationship" for this purpose is known as "a marriage."
35 weeks ago
35 weeks ago Link To Comment
All Comments   (24)
All Comments   (24)
Sort: Newest Oldest Top Rated
In my community, virginity until marriage is still expected until marriage. Then again, we don't even as much as hold hands either.
34 weeks ago
34 weeks ago Link To Comment
Sorry for the repetition.
34 weeks ago
34 weeks ago Link To Comment
My wife and I were both virgins until marriage. As a result there was never any worries about being compared to a previous lover. We celebrated our 47th anniversary this month. Life is good.
34 weeks ago
34 weeks ago Link To Comment
I am 22, a virgin, and if you couldn't guess a Christian conservative as well. And I am proud of it! I live in Washington state which is highly liberal. Everyone I know near my age says I am weird. It ain't easy, but to see how so many of you agree with my lifestyle is great. I don't really get to see that in person. Thank you all.
34 weeks ago
34 weeks ago Link To Comment
Wow!
This is the Blue Moon night all over our world . What a night for the virgins ,those who have had the demons cast out of them to pray to God for great miracles in our lost world
34 weeks ago
34 weeks ago Link To Comment
Lies that our culture profits from:

“Sex is only physical”

“Sex is just like every other appetite”

“Practice makes perfect!”

http://goo.gl/AsTgL
34 weeks ago
34 weeks ago Link To Comment
Why is it that the most sex-obsessed people are often the loneliest?

http://goo.gl/la9Z3
34 weeks ago
34 weeks ago Link To Comment
Celibacy is not spoken of nearly enough. Even the current darling of the medias, the "LGBT Community", doesn't recognize it & include the initial "C" in their awful acronym ("LGBTC"?). Celibacy is a very serious choice one makes. It deserves respect, something else that is in short supply in our society these days.
34 weeks ago
34 weeks ago Link To Comment
I've been married 27 years. I've written the book on committing acts of random chastity.

34 weeks ago
34 weeks ago Link To Comment
Like everything else, "one size DOES NOT fit all". I applaud ALL who choose to live their lives as they see fit & have the strength to withstand the "bullying" that is visited upon them by those who disagree with their choices!! What a BORING world it would be if we all made the same choices. I "sampled" everything on the "man buffet" before I met my Husband & got married for the first, last & only time, & I'm really glad I did, but I wouldn't pretend that my life would suit everyone. "To each his own" & let's try to respect each other as individuals making our own individual choices.
34 weeks ago
34 weeks ago Link To Comment
Why is this column all about women? If you want to impress me, bring on the healthy, attractive, young males who are chaste by choice. I visit a lot of conservative websites where male lust is a staple. Not that there's anything with that, but it does seem as though conservative men are a considerable source of pressure on female chastity.
34 weeks ago
34 weeks ago Link To Comment
I already posted about this earlier, but I'm 22 and a virgin by choice. I have no physical deformities that are visible, and am 6ft 2in. I believe that should count.

And by choice, I mean I have had one girl who wanted to put a collar on m and stick things where they don't belong. That was easy to say no to. Another very friendly and downright beautiful girl insisted on showing me her collection of unused condoms, in her bedroom, while her room mate was gone. That one wasn't so easy... Fortunately one came with graphic instructions for how to use it for homosexual intercourse. That made it easier. There are many more but I doubt most people want to hear about them.
34 weeks ago
34 weeks ago Link To Comment
There are a lot of young males that are chaste, but not by choice. Just like for other animals, the tallest best looking physical specimens of young males have lots of opportunities for sex while the average males get fewer opportunities. In addition, men generally initiate the steps leading to sex and some young men just haven't figured out how to successfully get from point A to point B. On top of this, young men have to compete with middle-aged men who also want sex with young women.
34 weeks ago
34 weeks ago Link To Comment
Wouldn't that be Tim Tebow?
34 weeks ago
34 weeks ago Link To Comment
Sounds like an extinct species to me, or at least "highly endangered"! ;)
34 weeks ago
34 weeks ago Link To Comment
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