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4 Rules for Holding Your Marriage Together When Tragedy Strikes

You can't stop the storms of life from rolling in. You can, however, allow them to deepen your relationships rather than destroy them.

by
Rhonda Robinson

Bio

June 3, 2013 - 3:36 pm
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okstorm

My daughter just got back from Moore, Oklahoma. Along with a team from our church, she spent the last few days helping families sift through the rubble that was once their homes. They spent hours searching for the smallest pieces of their lives.

When I asked her what struck her the hardest, she told me,

Watching the families look at the debris, or the crosses in memory of the children that died. The blank look of disbelief on their faces — they’re not in there. Then when you hug them, they just drop into your arms and cry. I remember that feeling. I remembered when that was us.

So do I.

In the midst of tornado sirens five summers ago, we were summoned to a small room in the basement of a hospital. Behind closed doors, two strangers, doing their best to be kind, said to us the most horrific words I ever heard. They told us our youngest son died at the scene.

What I once knew as my home, my family, and my children — even myself  — all changed. There was no going back.

An June 2008 entry from my journal:

It is as though my life has exploded into thousands of little pieces. Daily I strive to carefully pick up another piece. What I am finding is that each piece is part of a puzzle. And I have to ask God where each piece fits.

To my surprise, the picture of my life that the pieces are forming is a much different picture than the one I knew before.

You can’t stop the storms of life from rolling in. You can, however, allow them to deepen your relationships rather than destroy them.

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All Comments   (8)
All Comments   (8)
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Each of those points are great. They should be part of your everyday living. Jesus called it "building your house on a rock so that when the storms came it would survive." My gracious wife and I have been practicing these points for 42 years now and when some of those storms (son almost died once and our daughter twice). We were able weather them and come out stronger at the other end.
45 weeks ago
45 weeks ago Link To Comment
When I came down with cancer it was wife that was strong because it came out of the blue when I was healthy, strong, and still working a 40+ hour a week manual labor job. After 11 months of chemo hell and as many operations I was left with the ability of a crippled 80 year old man, but I was still alive. 6 years later we are stronger than ever thanks to her and it is only because she is such a great person that I am here at all.
45 weeks ago
45 weeks ago Link To Comment
"6 years later we are stronger than ever thanks to her and it is only because she is such a great person that I am here at all."

Wonderful. That is the essence of the marriage vows is it not. That's the stuff a good life is made of.
45 weeks ago
45 weeks ago Link To Comment
Love your writing Mrs Rhonda Robinson , you truly have an amazing way with words of experience and have weathered more than your share of " storms ".... Bless
45 weeks ago
45 weeks ago Link To Comment
Thank you so much for your kind words.
45 weeks ago
45 weeks ago Link To Comment
I am so sorry for your devastating loss. As a divorced woman, I understand that it takes two to make a marriage, but by substituting 'family' for 'marriage', your words of wisdom ring true for me. Thanks for another beautiful post.
45 weeks ago
45 weeks ago Link To Comment
Absolutely. Saving family/ marriage is the entire point. Not piling more hurt and devastation needlessly. I wrote it about marriage, because when we lost our son, I became aware that too many marriages don't survive the loss of a child.

Thank you for saying "another" ;-)
45 weeks ago
45 weeks ago Link To Comment
Thank you for sharing this wisdom and pain so openly. May God continue to bless you and your family.
45 weeks ago
45 weeks ago Link To Comment
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