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Science Confirms What We All Knew: Dogs Are Superior to Cats

No word yet on just what's wrong with the cat obsessives.

by
John Hawkins

Bio

May 8, 2013 - 8:37 am

There’s a reason dogs are known as “Man’s Best Friend” while cats are primarily associated with batty spinsters. It’s CALLED SCIENCE.

Here’s the proof from the book 59 Seconds: Think a Little, Change a Lot:

There are many ways in which a dog can make you feel better. Scientists have conducted numerous studies that examine how you might benefit from having a four legged friend.

Some of the best-known research, run by Erika Friedmann at the University of Maryland, and outside colleagues, investigated the possible relationship between dog ownership and cardiovascular functioning. After carefully following the recovery rates of patients who had suffered a heart attack, Friedmann discovered that those who were dog owners, compared to those who were without a canine pal, were almost nine times more likely to be alive twelves months later. This remarkable result encouraged scientists to explore other possible benefits of canine companionship, resulting in studies showing that dog owners coped well with everyday stress, were relaxed about life, had high self-esteem, and were less likely to diagnosed with depression.

…Interestingly, the same cannot be said for cats. Some studies show that living with a cat may help alleviate negative moods, but is unlikely to make you feel especially good, and others suggest that cat owners may actually be more likely than others to die in the twelve months following a heart attack.

On the upside for cat fans, the failure of cats may be related to some sort of consistently horrible defect in the sort of people who prefer cats over dogs, as opposed to the general awfulness of cats as pets.

But, all kidding aside; this makes perfect sense. Dogs are loyal companions who are thrilled out of their minds every time you return home while cats are generally indifferent to your existence, but are willing to tolerate you as long as you are giving them food and they’re allowed to use you as a scratching post.

John Hawkins is a professional writer who runs Right Wing News and Linkiest. He's also the co-owner of the The Looking Spoon. Additionally, he does weekly appearances on the #1 in its market Jaz McKay show, writes a weekly column for Townhall and PJ Media, does YouTube videos, and his work has also been published at the Washington Examiner, The Hill, and at Human Events. He's also the blogosphere's premier interviewer and has interviewed conservatives like Thomas Sowell, Mark Levin, Victor Davis Hanson, Mark Steyn, G. Gordon Liddy, Dick Morris, Karl Rove, Michael Steele, Milton Friedman, Jonah Goldberg, Jim DeMint, Walter Williams, Robert Novak, Ann Coulter, Newt Gingrich, & Michelle Malkin among others. Moreover, John Hawkins' work has been linked and discussed in numerous publications and on TV and radio shows including ABC News, BusinessWeek, C-Span, The Chicago Tribune, CNN, Countdown with Keith Olbermann, Editor & Publisher, Fox News, Hannity and Colmes, The Laura Ingraham Show, Minneapolis Star Tribune, MSNBC, National Journal, National Post, Newsmax, Newsweek, The Philadelphia Inquirer, The Rush Limbaugh Show, The Tammy Bruce Show, Time Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, The Hugh Hewitt Show, The Washington Post, Salt Lake Tribune, Scarborough Country, U.S. News & World Report, and Human Events, where he had a weekly column. Right Wing News has been studied by college classes and even inspired an urban legend that was covered at Snopes. Last but not least, John Hawkins also founded and led the Rightroots group, a grassroots effort that collected almost $300,000 for Republican candidates in the last 3 months of the 2006 election cycle. In 2008, he consulted for Duncan Hunter's presidential campaign and was on the board of Slatecard, which raised more than $600,000 for Republican candidates in the 2008 election cycle. In 2011, he helped found Raising Red, although he left the organization the same year and went on to become one of the co-founders of Not Mitt Romney.com.

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Top Rated Comments   
Cats are born knowing where to take a dump. Dogs have to be taught. Enough said.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
All Comments   (17)
All Comments   (17)
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Each and every cat we've ever been caretakers of have been more than ample companions, are astute to a fault, and are not seen as 'less-than' anything.
Right now our Scottish Fold [smudgie] is patiently waiting for one of his numerous feedings and will get his anti-biotic syrette at 1pm. [bladder infection]
He rates it because for 16-plus years he's been a loyal buddy, always loving and never asking for a blessed thing.
When we got him, he'd never been acclimated [period] and was scared $hitless of his own shadow, and was throwing himself against windows, as he'd never been out of a cage and didn't know he could escape through "the hole' he saw.
Took up a while to get him 'normal', and his rewards never, ever stop for us.
Some of us just are not cut out for Dog Partnerships, and that perfectly describes me. I know that my BP goes down whenever he's propped up on me, and my heart melts, just a little.
Gotta' go... I'm getting a furry eyeball.......

1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I adopted my first totally feral cat in November, a 4 or 5-year-old boy from the mean streets of Phila. There were times that I wanted to throw in the towel because he had a habit of throwing his arms around my ankles in play or as an effort to keep me in the kitchen so I'd give him some treats. He also was a biter. It's taken six months but he is now as responsive and loving as any cat I've adopted from a domestic litter, a tribute to his intelligence and warm heart.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Oh, no, here we go again! Dog people are so defensive about loving their uncomplicated, one-dimensional. easy to fathom beasts who adore them so much they'll roll over like dishrags for a tummy rub. I can understand that they feel inferior to those of us who have been able to forge a deep communion, intuitive but also almost intellectual, with an animal who never lets us forget that he IS an animal. He knows he is superior to us, and so do we. We like it that way. Wolves are not kings of the forest but cats are, always have been and always will be Kings of The Jungle. So there!
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
And furthermore, a meow is so much more genteel, expressive, nuanced and pleasant to hear than woof-woof. I rest my case.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I like cats, husband doesn't, so we've always had dogs (which I admit I love better than cats). One of the reasons dog owners probably live longer is because they have to move around with a dog (dogs have to be cleaned up after, walked, played with, etc.), whereas the most movement required of cat owners is feeding and the bi-weekly kitty litter disposal.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
This is not the first article here at PJM Lifestyle trashing cats and gushing over dogs. In fact, the previous ones may have been written by this same author; I don't recall.

I'm getting sick of the cat-trashing. Please just stop. And don't tell me that it's all just meant in fun. If you'd stopped with one such article, I might buy that but a second or third such article says you're on a mission. Or really hurting for something interesting to write and just recycling an old idea.

If you've got nothing better to write about than how psychotic cat owners must be, give yourself - and us - a break and wait until you have something more worthwhile.

Thank you.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I like dogs, it is some dog owners that I have a problem with. As to cats being aloof or un-affectionate; that is, what would be the correct word, oh yeah, crap.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Exactly!

Cats are very affectionate but they insist on it being on their own terms. They love being stroked but it has to be when they want to be stroked. They gladly purr and roll over for you when they're in the mood. They love to sleep curled up against you, especially when it is cold.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I like dogs, as they are fine beasts, but I don't miss having to walk out in a f****ing cold rain at 6:00 am so Fido can relieve himself. My problem is with dog owners, a distressingly large number of whom don't know how to handle their beasts.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
If I have a heart attack, I'll start taking my cat for walks.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Surely somewhere there's a scientific study that shows dog people enjoy lording it over relatively slow-witted slobbering sycophants who need their masters' approval to perform even the most basic body functions...?

Personally, I prefer a companion over a worshipper.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
>>"Surely somewhere there's a scientific study..."

So find it. Until then go blow your horn.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Cats are born knowing where to take a dump. Dogs have to be taught. Enough said.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I have both cats and a dog, and I disagree. My cats have an extraordinary sense of time, and are waiting for me when I come home. They are as loyal and affectionate as any dog. On the other hand, my loyal but high energy dog is more likely to raise my blood pressure than lower it!
But the ultimate test if superiority is in what the respective animals choose to ingest. If allowed, my dog will readily eat my cat's excrement, or any other excrement he finds. No cat would ever do something as revolting as that.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
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