Last time around, I started quite a conversation about the merits, or lack thereof, of Pink Floyd and Bob Marley.

Now we’re dispatching three additional sacred musical cows to the slaughterhouse:

#3: Stevie Wonder

At the risk of wandering into Elvis Costello territory — yes, he really did say this — I’m gonna come right out with it:

If Stevie Wonder wasn’t black and blind, there’s no way he’d be as highly esteemed as he is.

A white guy who named himself “Wonder” would never hear the end of it. Instead, we never hear the end of Stevie’s songs, especially on American Idol.

OK, so that’s not his fault, but you know what is?

Besides The Secret Life of Plants and “I Just Called To Say I Love You” and “Ebony and Ivory”?

The song below.

I’m indebted to David Stubbs for putting my incoherent dislike of Songs in the Key of Life into words:

“Isn’t She Lovely” transcribes to vinyl every last icky-cooing dollop of sentimental gloop to which once-sentient adults are reduced when they have babies and, true to the album’s form, lasts longer than purgatory. Several minutes into this, with no light at the end of the tunnel of choruses, King Herod seems like one of the Bible’s more engaging and reasonable characters. “I Wish” contains the most ridiculously misty-eyed and excruciatingly doggerel-ridden reminiscence on childhood.