13 Weeks: On Despair
Week 5 of my second 13 week season; low carb diet and more exercise, tracking my weight, blood glucose, and body fat. You can follow me at my 13 Weeks Facebook page for daily updates, and you can join Fitocracy and follow my daily exercise.
It was hard this week. On Friday morning, I got up and found my 13-year-old Abyssinian cat Radar, apparently peacefully asleep in his favorite spot — except he didn’t look up when I came down the stairs. He had died during the night.
Now, i’m one of those people for whom my cats are like my kids, and Radar hadn’t shown a sign of distress the night before — he met me at the door as usual, fought me for bits of chicken before I was ready as before. So it was a shock. I took care of him, but I was useless the rest of the day, and in fact all weekend. The other two cats — Ali’i and Kaleo — were clearly missing him too, and they’ve been very clingy all week. Still, I think we’re all recovering, finally.
Radar — not a great picture, but he didn’t like cameras.
But the week continued to be ridiculously stressful, with work issues and all, and then — the depression I always have to watch started creeping up on me, probably as a result of stress and poor sleep (and like the old Catskills joke, not only was the sleep bad, there wasn’t enough of it!)
And here I am, on week five of the second season.
Sticking to the diet and exercise plan when I feel like this is really tough. I took to putting my workouts in Fitocracy before I did them, because then I’d be too ashamed not to actually do them. Even so, I only worked out four times this week. The stress also apparently affects blood sugar — the morning Radar died I had the highest blood sugar I’ve had in weeks at 127 and it’s stayed high.
All in all, if I could take a week off from the column I would.
The thing here being that I didn’t, and I haven’t slipped on the diet anyway — and really haven’t slipped far on the exercise, as I still got in 1093 points, or just 61 fewer than the week before, thanks to having raised the weight I did on my heavy lift days. So my blood sugar is up a little, my weight is actually down a pound from last week (but still basically flat) and my body fat hasn’t changed much in a week either.
Also, if you feel emotional stress, back off on the physical challenges. Stress is stress, no matter what type. You can even go sideways (no change) for a while, you are in no rush. Be kind to thyself. We are standing with you. And hey, you do squats so well.
Also, if you feel emotional stress, back off on the physical challenges. Stress is stress, no matter what type. You can even go sideways (no change) for a while, you are in no rush. Be kind to thyself. We are standing with you. And hey, you do squats so well.
Feeling sh$!!y is about the only thing you can do just now and that’s fine, because it’s the right thing to do. But please reconsider savoring at least a bit of your favorite ice cream in his honor, as a toast to the essential elements of a good life that cats teach us so much about. Now is not the time to chasten yourself still further; this blow was quite enough.
If you can make yourself do it, try to go outside and look at something beautiful, find something to enjoy. He’d want that for you.
(On February 26th, I noticed leaf buds sprouting along the stems of an ancient and venerable white clematis I transplanted last year that then, through some miracle, managed to give me about 25 post-transplant blooms--one of which is... (show more)
Feeling sh$!!y is about the only thing you can do just now and that’s fine, because it’s the right thing to do. But please reconsider savoring at least a bit of your favorite ice cream in his honor, as a toast to the essential elements of a good life that cats teach us so much about. Now is not the time to chasten yourself still further; this blow was quite enough.
If you can make yourself do it, try to go outside and look at something beautiful, find something to enjoy. He’d want that for you.
(On February 26th, I noticed leaf buds sprouting along the stems of an ancient and venerable white clematis I transplanted last year that then, through some miracle, managed to give me about 25 post-transplant blooms--one of which is pictured here--despite my having had to completely sever its root ball from the profusion of blooming stems that were growing outside the fence along the alleyway. Anticipating its coming glory from my breakfast room window has helped to keep me going through days of rain, snow, and cold, grey gloom since then. Now today the crocuses are up and open wide, bees swooning all over them. I’ll bet you could find something lovely to snap if you really looked for it.)
I also commend two life changing neutraceuticals that have tipped the balance for me this past winter, NAC (aka N-acetyl cysteine) and a transdermal magnesium lotion formulation.
Everything matters, Charlie, everything! “The tone of our hearts permeates the universe.” You’re an old hand at discipline and making the best of things, and you’ll be back on top again before you know it.
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I'm glad you have kept going and hope you feel the support of this community.
I'm glad you have kept going and hope you feel the support of this community.
Our bodies are programmed to want to hang on to body fat as defense for the famine that was inevitable until just recently, at least in evolutionary terms. After a period of effective weight loss, our metabolism adapts as a counter measure, think Borg adjusting to phasers.
In my case, the solution has been to shock the system with 1 or 2 days of eating very differently, go have the ice cream and the other stuff that you cut out, just try to keep total calories the same.
Good luck
Our bodies are programmed to want to hang on to body fat as defense for the famine that was inevitable until just recently, at least in evolutionary terms. After a period of effective weight loss, our metabolism adapts as a counter measure, think Borg adjusting to phasers.
In my case, the solution has been to shock the system with 1 or 2 days of eating very differently, go have the ice cream and the other stuff that you cut out, just try to keep total calories the same.
Good luck
Second, I understand your frustration. I have been on the diet roller coaster for decades. I lost weight, often a significant amount, and it would return with a vengeance. Even when I was in a thinner state, I never really felt well, I was just a thinner version of the same old miserable me. All that changed when I discovered the real reason for my obesity. My body was toxic. Most of my life I ate processed foods, filled with preservatives and chemicals that are put there to enhance flavor. My vegetables and fruits were drenched in herbicides and pesticides and grown in sterile soils. My body was starved for nutrients and filled with toxins. Once... (show more)
Second, I understand your frustration. I have been on the diet roller coaster for decades. I lost weight, often a significant amount, and it would return with a vengeance. Even when I was in a thinner state, I never really felt well, I was just a thinner version of the same old miserable me. All that changed when I discovered the real reason for my obesity. My body was toxic. Most of my life I ate processed foods, filled with preservatives and chemicals that are put there to enhance flavor. My vegetables and fruits were drenched in herbicides and pesticides and grown in sterile soils. My body was starved for nutrients and filled with toxins. Once I discovered how to cleanse the body naturally and replenish it with healthy, organic products, it began to heal. I have released over 150 pounds, the first 100 in six months, and I have kept it all off for over a year and a half. I have found what works for me (and many, many others) and I hope you find what works for you. (show less)
I've been lurking, and wanted to say that achieving a proper weight/health condition can be difficult from either end. Courage!
I've been lurking, and wanted to say that achieving a proper weight/health condition can be difficult from either end. Courage!