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Democrats Mourn ObamaCare Verdict

Realize new taxing authority in Republican hands might suck.

by
Sunny

Bio

July 5, 2012 - 7:00 am

Last month’s stunning ObamaCare verdict, a 5-4 decision in favor of the law on the basis of a new and unprecedented taxing ability, has Democrats across the country loudly mourning the verdict and calling for Chief Justice Robert’s head. News media across the nation somberly announced the partisan verdict on to a shocked Democrat audience who just thought they were getting free health care, not a religious dictatorship. The new verdict allows the federal government to ban behavior they don’t want, or force behavior they do want, just by taxing it, since you will be jailed if you don’t pay the tax. All the federal government now has to do is make a tax on something high enough to essentially make it a crime. Democrats are crying foul because they never intended the law to be considered a tax in the first place.

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There is now little doubt the Republicans will take over the presidency and Congress after the elections in November, partly due to the passage of the unpopular ObamaCare legislation, which spawned the Tea Party movement and angry town hall meetings across the country. Many congressmen have already lost their seats, and Rasmussen reports that even after SCOTUS found the law constitutional, 52% of Americans who plan to vote favor repeal versus 39% who don’t — which will surely be reflected at the polls. While Democrats are happy to have another impractical behemoth of an entitlement with which to punish the rich and permanently shackle the middle class, they didn’t count on the consequences — that of giving unlimited power to the government, which isn’t so great if your side is out of office.

Is It a Republican Conspiracy?

Some are crying conspiracy, since the swing voter Chief Justice Roberts is a conservative and appears to have changed his vote. Some think he was “gotten to” by the Republican National Committee or a cabal of Beck and Limbaugh fans, pushing a sinister plan to allow the Religious Right to take over the country. As Roberts is an appointee of the much-maligned President Bush, it may very well be true. It may simply be a case of a conservative judge being an activist from the bench, and trying to grant a totalitarian government to the incoming Religious Right, knowing they are only months away from taking over.

Recently leaked photos of a secret Republican meeting indicate something big was in the works.

The sweeping new tax powers now available to a future Republican-led federal government are frightening in their scope. Since the federal government can now make anything illegal, including NOT doing something they want you to do, Democrats are outraged by the potential trampling of their liberties. Retail stores are reportedly seeing a nationwide spike in sales of Don’t Tread on Me flags, and this time the purchasers are lifelong Democrats and SEIU members.

A totalitarian government seemed all fine and dandy as long as it only required people to buy health care, recycle, not build on swamps, not drink too much soda, not get married, not cut down any trees, not put a grocery store there, not be Fox News, buy a Chevy Volt, buy a house, not use paper bags, not use plastic bags, go to college, have some kids, contribute to certain unions, have some more kids, wear your seatbelt, not save money, spend money — especially on electric cars or student loans, carpool, take public transportation, not drink raw milk, not eat fresh eggs, and give lots of money to other people, etc.. But it is another matter if you want to ban gay marriage and abortion. Oops.

MoveOn.org and Media Matters Offered Statements.

“We now regret sitting by while our own Democratic president, through executive orders and ObamaCare, increased federal authority to such a degree that, come January, we will no longer live in a country where we are free to be ourselves, love whom we choose, and live our lives the way we want as long as we are not hurting anyone else, which is the essence of our great nation. We only wanted to knock a few rich heads together and get some free stuff. Our bad!” said Mike Weederson, spokesman for Media Matters.

Rediscovering the principles of our founding fathers when necessary.

Frank Brinkman, from the Human Rights Campaign, the largest national gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender advocacy organization, said he was “fine with spy drones secretly flying over the homes of Americans” until he realized it will be “gay-hating religious nut cases” at the controls.

The fear and suspicion keep mounting. MoveOn.org claims to have heard from a source in the upper echelons of the Republican Party that there is already a plan underway to charge a $1,000,000 tax on all gay marriages and to apply it retroactively since the Constitution no longer applies to lawmaking, thereby putting many gay and lesbians in jail within the year for getting married in the first place unpaid taxes. Other possible items up for taxation by a Republican majority are things like abortions, not going to church, not helping your kids with their homework, simply being gay, fornicating, being a Democrat, divorcing, living together in sin, being Muslim, a so called “mainstream media” tax, short skirts, and worse.

A Republican Party spokesman, Barry Goodfellow, said on Saturday “nonsense,” but no one believes it.

Many Democrat civil rights organizations are banding together to call for a constitutional amendment limiting the taxation powers of government such that they could no longer manipulate people and markets with the tax code, and could certainly never tax a person for NOT doing something the government wants them to do, but the fate of such legislation seems uncertain.

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Sunny Lohmann is a regular humor columnist for PJ Media and PJ Lifestyle. Her political satire videos have gotten a lot of attention in the blogosphere. Find out more about Sunny by checking out her blog, House of Sunny, follow her on Facebook here, and enjoy her most recent Youtube videos here. She tweets @sunnylikeaboss.

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