Isn’t it Annoying Having to Lie to People About Your Job?
At Cracked.Com, one of their best new humor articles this past week was John Cheese’s The 6 Stupidest Things We Use to Judge People We Don’t Know.
The first item immediately struck a chord with me:
#6. Where You Work
Regular readers know that I used to work at a truck wash for big tractor/trailers. In 15 years of employment there, there wasn’t a single day when I was proud to tell someone what I did for a living. In fact, if I was meeting a stranger for the first time and I knew that there was no chance of us ever seeing each other again, I’d flat out lie. “Oh, you’re a lawyer? That’s awesome. I build nuclear warheads with my penis.”
I did it because I knew the reaction my job produced wasn’t one of interest. It was one of sympathy. “Well, hey, at least you have a job, right? Not many people can say that in this economy.” As if I needed the reassurance of a stranger to justify my occupation.
But that one is not in a “respectable” job — perhaps they make just over minimum wage — is only one way people are judged for their employer.
Ever since moving to Los Angeles in spring of 2010 I’ve started being much more vague when most people ask what I do for a living. (We’re 15 minutes from Hollywood — bluest part of the country imaginable. “Editor for conservative new media publication” in LA is a bit like being a bacon donut and pornography salesman in Mecca.)
I’m not ashamed of what I do and more than capable of defending myself should a debate ensue, but if it’s a social gathering do I really want to attract the attention or make people feel uncomfortable? I’m more than happy to reveal to people the ideological origins of our President (which is what these discussions usually devolve into) but is a casual get-together really the place? And besides — do the sane, polite people in the room really want to hear about politics? It’s a social event — the point is to relax and escape the world’s troubles, not wallow in how divided our country can be.
So usually if we’re at a party or the subject comes up in casual conversation with a neighbor or random stranger I’ll just say I’m a writer and an editor (not even specify new media) and count on them not being inquisitive enough to dig further. (And it’s LA so this is a safe bet.)
Has anybody else had any versions of this problem? That assumptions and prejudice about your job necessitate some social obfuscation?
(And btw, check out Brent Smith’s ode to bacon at his blog Random Dude Eats Random Food – the source of that terrifyingly beautiful image of the bacon donuts.)
Your article hit a nerve. Up until I retired about a year ago, I worked at a steady stable job as a building super–not the most status ridden or prestigious “calling”. It did provide a steady salary that left me with enough time to pursue a series of courses and degrees without necessarily having to “sell my soul” in a leftist educational setting somewhat bereft of any streak of creativity and exploration.
Yet, when someone asks me about my work, how can I say that I “worked” at understanding the inner dynamics of the world?
“t did provide a steady salary that left me with enough time to pursue a series of courses and degrees without necessarily having to “sell my soul” in a leftist educational setting somewhat bereft of any streak of creativity and exploration.”
Sounds like time well spent, to me.
Me too!
Doing something practical is a nice break from study and vice versa.
Well done, I say.
There are any number of jobs I’d hate to have to admit to, but your choice is not among them. Indeed, it’s a fair facsimile for the job I’ve always wanted: philosopher-king. (The equivalent in the corporate world: Vice-President In Charge Of Thinking Good Thoughts.)
If, for any reason or none, you dislike to tell others what you do for a living, a terrific answer to “What do you do?” that has the virtue of applying to any and every occupation except alley-dwelling bum is: “I manage the family finances.” Gets immediate respect, too.
Yet I don’t think anyone on the Left would hesitate for a minute to share their employment with The Daily Beast or similar outlets for genius thought. Go, Meghan!
While my boys were growing up, I was careful to mention my jobs as a dishwasher and janitor (I was in the Foreign Service at the time). I also felt it important to point out (while cleaning up after a meal) how quickly civilization shuts down if the kitchens of the world aren’t kept spotlessly clean. The implied denigation of janitors during the debates was especially onerous.
Really? NO ONE you ever met was interested in just how those giant trucks can be washed? I’ve actually wondered about that, and if we’d met I’d have asked you more than one question!
But everyone loves my job: I’m a public librarian. I’m so LUCKY!
Well, I’m a housewife so I sympathize; eyes glaze over and drinks need to be fetched when I utter that dreaded phrase. But I can guarantee that all four of my sons (ranging from age 4 to 21) would be absolutely fascinated by someone who washes semi trucks for a living. Probably, several of my daughters would be interested too. It sure sounds more interesting than my teen jobs (detasseling corn, KFC drive-through, waitress).
I have the opposite problem; I mention I’m a software engineer (meh, keeps a roof over my head) and “stay-at-home-mothers” smirk at how sad and worthless I am in comparison. Maybe we can switch lives for awhile.
I’ve worked for the IRS and owned a sex toy business… so yes.
Well, at least you are consistant……
David,
I used to tell people who asked at social gatherings in New York what I did that I was “studying for my GED and hoping to pass the math portion soon.” I would then watch the expressions on their faces as they tried to figure out if I was serious or just making fun of them for being so concerned about what I did for a living. It probably did make people uncomfortable.
excellent response
Thanks Helen! I’m going to try this next time!
I work for a company that builds EBR’s (Evil Black Rifles). Before that I was selling firearms retail (I called myself an international arms dealer, hey we had Soviet surplus rifles).
Before the gunz gigs I was a Zamboni operator and professional Santa Claus with a reoccurring mall job and private home visits. Before that I was still married and I was forced to do anything that brought in the money…..boring.
Once, in a college class I was attending, a classmate who happened to be an elementary teacher asked me what I did. At the time, I was a secretary, and when I told her that’s what I was, she said, “Oh.” Then she turned away, and that was the last time she ever bothered speaking to me.
what was the class?
Living in the SF bay area I get funny looks when asked about my work. “I build guns.”
Usually the coolest stuff are the supressed machine guns we build for law enforcment agnecies but I still get funny and very uneasy looks. I take public transit normally and that makes for an intresting conversation starter. I guess I don’t break the ice, I blow it away.
I was a locomotive engineer on the rail road, so I told people I was a piano player in a whore house
When my son told me he wanted to be a lawyer when he was about 12 i told him to take piano lessons instead. Get an honest job.
Well, I’ve actually played the piano at a classic car open house. I was volunteering though, not working for a living. I haven’t ever made anything other than tip-cup money from the piano – found it easier to be a chemist. Probably not more fulfilling though.
I’ve been working in the social media/online branding industry and outside of D.C. people tell me they don’t understand what I do. Saying I get paid to be on Facebook all day doesn’t sound very reputable
As someone on Facebook all day monitoring the media I hear you there.
Take your situation, David, and multiply it a thousand-fold, and you have my life.
Every single one — with no exceptions — of my family, friends, colleagues and neighbors are far-far-far-far-left liberals/socialists/progressives/whatever. I’m talkin’ raging irrational extremists in most cases. If any of them had the slightest inkling that I was anything other than a Mao-loving Obama-voting America-hating radical, they’d excommunicate me from their lives forever. For real.
As a result, I have had to lie about who I am and what I do even to my closest relatives and loved ones, as well as all friends, bosses, colleagues, neighbors, acquaintances, etc., for over ten years. The family members who share my own home do not even know I am a blogger, much less a “conservative” blogger! Yes, it’s that bad. I’ve had to construct a complete fantasy edifice of lies about my career and beliefs and how I spend my time, etc. for a solid decade.
The problem gets compounded because as a consequence I also need to belittle myself and lie about how much money I make in my “real world” non-blogging job. In reality, I make a great deal more per hour of work than I claim to make; I am forced to portray myself as much more of an impoverished loser than I really am. Why? Because I can then claim I need to do extra work to make $X, when in fact I’ve already made it; and I can then instead secretly spend the time blogging, and no one is the wiser.
Think of it this way (with random numbers made up out of a hat): In reality, I make $100/hour, let’s just say. But I tell everyone I make only $20/hour. So then I “go off to work” for five hours and come back later with $100; and everyone thinks this is logical and expected. But in fact I actually worked for only one hour and then secretly blogged for the other four hours. So far, no one’s figured it out! Not even my closest loved ones.
But this is just the way it has to be for me. Unless I want to get fired, excommunicated, banished, dumped, loathed, hated, kicked out and given the silent treatment for the rest of my life, I have no choice but to maintain an absurdly complex landscape of lies. Such is life in liberal-land.
Thanks for keeping up the act for us, Zombie.