Iran Halts Nuclear Program Because ‘Nice Diplomat’ Asked Them To
In a shocking turn of events, after years of resistance Iran has unilaterally halted its own nuclear program. Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad spoke to reporters late yesterday and announced the “total and complete” abandonment of “all efforts” toward creating a nuclear bomb. He cited “really nice U.S. diplomat” as the reason.
All I ever wanted was someone to be nice to me.
“We were wholeheartedly committed to developing a nuclear bomb so that we could basically win the Middle East in its entirety for Allah, by destroying all of our enemies, in particular those Satans in Israel, but probably Saudi Arabia too, and anyone else who looked at us crosswise,” said Ahmedinejad. “We also really enjoyed shaking our little stick at the US and watching them bend over. But then this really nice man from the U.S. asked us to stop, so we did! We also gave the drone back. What do we need it for?”
Gosh, all we had to do was ask!
Not many believed that a U.S. foreign policy of submissive, pandering wussiness could ever actually achieve anything. Critics of the policy of weakness came from both sides of the aisle and included current and former military generals. In spite of such rampant, intense opposition, Obama and the Clinton State Department have held firm to their policy of “making nice” with the Iranians, convinced of its efficacy as a universal foreign policy, but also because they simply like Islamic dictators. One of the most outspoken critics against the administration’s actions has been Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who responded to the news of the halted Iranian program by saying, “I’m happy to be wrong.”
Please like me!
Regretfully, this article uses the photo of Obama allegedly bowing to the Saudi King as “illustrative material” when the WH has emphatically denied that he was bowing, and indeed confirmation comes from the House of Saud itself in a statement saying, “Obama wasn’t bowing, the King had merely pointed to one of Obama’s loafers and told him, Hey, your shoe’s untied.”
I don’t buy it for a second,bomb the effing nuclear plants
X: “I don’t buy it for a second”
It wasn’t for sale. This is a satire piece.
oh, and let’s also build some effing democracy there, they will love it, love us and will be our friends forevar
Never having read her before I thought this was on the up and up. I went “Huh”, naah. Three seconds later I got it. I’m sorry it took so long, Sunny.
Me too.
Nice tiara.
Barry would look good in that.
Good points, if it were not for the havoc his administration is causing (with worse in the pipeline) Obama and company could qualify as a remake of the Marx’s Brothers Duck Soup. (The middle class is revolting! They certainly are!.)
footnote: The Mullahs hope to wipe out more than just Israel and their foes in the middle east. Since their goal is world domination destroying the US is a necessity, destroying Israel is merely a pleasure. Watch for those nukes in NYC and our coastal refineries before Tel-Aviv.
What the Hell?!?
They are already building an MRBM base in Venezuela, a la Cuba, 1962. Only this time around the usual suspects are studiously ignoring that fact.
Danny’s next job should be to head for Moscow and pacify Vladimir Putin, to put some “It’s a Wonderful Life” warmth in that frosty-looking visage. Then on to Zimbabwe, to convince Robert Mugabe that he really ought to commit suicide for bankrupting the country, for insisting on “Zimbabwe” over “Rhodesia,” for robbing, raping and murdering countless whites in his own brand of genocide, and that taking his own life would be the decent thing to do. Then he could fly to Venezuela and talk Hugo Chavez into resigning in shame from the presidency, announcing free and unfettered elections, and returning all the property he’s robbed from Venezuelans and foreign companies. A tougher task for Danny Caron would be going to Peking and to persuade the Communist rulers there that they’re really fascists, not communists, because they’ve got their fingers in everything. Finally, he could wing it to Riyad Saudi Arabia, and convince King Abdullah and all the princes that they really ought to think of enrolling in Curves, to lose some of that weight (he could stress the probability of heart attacks), in addition to admitting that they’re just parasites.
Yes, Danny Carson could be such an efficacious agent for good!
Danny’s next job should be to head for Moscow and pacify Vladimir Putin, to put some “It’s a Wonderful Life” warmth in that frosty-looking visage. Then on to Zimbabwe, to convince Robert Mugabe that he really ought to commit suicide for bankrupting the country, for insisting on “Zimbabwe” over “Rhodesia,” for robbing, raping and murdering countless whites in his own brand of genocide, and that taking his own life would be the decent thing to do. Then he could fly to Venezuela and talk Hugo Chavez into resigning in shame from the presidency, announcing free and unfettered elections, and returning all the property he’s robbed from Venezuelans and foreign companies. A tougher task for Danny Caron would be going to Peking and to persuade the Communist rulers there that they’re really fascists, not communists, because they’ve got their fingers in everything. Finally, he could wing it to Riyadh Saudi Arabia, and convince King Abdullah and all the princes that they really ought to think of enrolling in Curves, to lose some of that weight (he could stress the probability of heart attacks), in addition to admitting that they’re just parasites.
Yes, Danny Carson could be such an efficacious agent for good!
The truly sad part is that this is what both the Ronulans and the Obamabots think would happen if The Right Man went and talked to Ahma-dinner-jacket.
Of course, The Right Man is either RuPaul or Baracky, which gives anyone except a Ronulan or Obamabot–that is, anyone with more than 3 functioning brain cells–a very good idea of what would happen in the real world.
If they believe that they need to fall in the hole Obama is digging tomorrow.. the whole bunch of them that are destroying our country….
Oh my God, this was so funny. Sunny rocks!
With respect to Sunny, I think she’s focusing on the wrong reason for this welcome change in Iranian policy.
As you may remember, a couple of years ago Obama went to the Middle East and gave a heartfelt apology for all the sins the west has committed against Muslims generally and Iran in particular. One could almost see the wave of change come across the Muslim world as people turned to each other and said, “You know, these Americans are really OK.”
And then a few months later the president held out an offer to the Iranian leaders, and this, I think, is what brought them around. Eager not to interfere in the internal affairs of Iran he said nothing about those thugs, hotheads, and probably Zionist agents taking to the streets. Instead he held out the possibility that if the mullahs dropped the nuclear weapons program they might…he couldn’t promise, but they might…be allowed to join “the community of responsible nations.”
I think it’s clear that this offer is what convinced the Iranian government to do a u-turn and take the pacific and neighborly approach that encourages us all.
Peace will not reign in the Middle East, or at least it will the moment the Israelis stop building settlements and shooting at peaceful Gazans who like to let off fireworks to celebrate marriages, graduations, and such. Some of these land in Israel but those joyless Israelis choose to resent it.
Funny stuff. This week UN Secretary General Bar Ki Moonbat asked Hezbolla nicely to please disarm. Nasralla answered with a huge LMAO. No, really.
http://www.jpost.com/MiddleEast/Article.aspx?id=253593