December 30, 2011 - 4:19 am
I will be a guest on Amy Alkon’s radio show on Sunday, January 1st at 4:30 Eastern and our topic will be men’s issues with a focus on paternity rights and relationships. For example, why do men have so few paternity rights? Should you get a DNA test? Why is fatherhood so unpopular that young guys don’t want to be dads? Why do women have so many reproductive rights but men have few or none?
Do you have any questions or comments that you would like us to discuss regarding men, relationships, culture or sex? If so, drop them below and we will pick out some to discuss on air. Thanks!
I’m sure you are aware that there is a thriving online community that speaks to these topics and many more regarding men. The aptly named Men’s Right’s Movement or MRM, basically seeks to change the dialogue surrounding feminism and political correctness. The main arguments are that women have now been given freedoms, but no accountability, and no consequences. It also argues that while women have been free to determine their own path in society, men are still pressured and shamed to stick to the traditional roles. I could go on and on but that’s the gist. More specific topics:
-False rape reports: 50% of reported rapes are false. However, even though the guy accused is revealed to the public, and his reputation thrown into question, the girl remains anonymous, and there is no consequence for falsely accusing the guy.
-VAWA: Violence against women act: While it has saved a lot of women, it has destroyed a lot of men too. It is an important law but the implementation is horrible. A woman can beat a man, simply lie and tell police he hit me, and the guy will go to jail and of course the fees and damage that come with that. Also to note is there are plenty of studies out there showing women commit domestic violence at the same rate of men. Where’s the VAMA?
-Marriage: A big one but i’ll condense it. 50% of all marriages end in divorce. 70% are initiated by the woman. Yet men 90% of the time pay alimony. Throw in child support, that he will pay because the courts heavily lean in the woman’s favor…. any man in his right state of mind should seriously consider what he is doing before getting married. It has become a contract to redistribute a man’s wealth between the government and the woman. Pass. But yet there are constant articles telling men to “man up” take responsibility and get married.
With the legal climate such that a man risks criminal charges and/or lawsuit for harassment for anything from compliment to correction, why would men have anything to do with women at all? Easier and safer to just avoid them altogether.
For the record: BTDT. As a result, I keep my contacts with females to the minimum possible.
Should be an interesting article however I think the idea that young guys don’t want to be dads is probably incorrect when compared to real life (anymore than it ever was anyway, or just slightly higher)- Sort of like the myth that people don’t take care of their parents anymore- look at yourself and your own friends.
Considering that the topic, being entertained, proves the problems exists, do you envision, in some far off, or not future a might makes right- cultural shift? Why or not?
I had opined as much in an impromptu speech in H.S. in 1971. I had seen it coming. I believe men bent their wills to the good logic of women, however reluctantly, for a long time. However, that has morphed into anti-man illogic. Since it is illogical thinking that men are dealing with, all they have at their disposal is might as an effective counter. They will use it. This does not imply simple brute force only, though. It may simply be a return to exclusionary behavior.
Have a goid time with it. Hope I catch the debate.
There is a general perception, rightly or wrongly, that mothers have a stronger bond with their children than do fathers. However it is hard to fix laws around such a concept though that is exactly what has been done.
For me the entire issue stems from this concept and so then must start with custody results in divorce cases. I realize this is not the exact issue of your question but it IS where law has been most prominently involved and with many of the same issues and with glaringly unequal results.
Decades ago there were certainly men who walked away from marriage while the mothers were stuck with the kids and with little payment to survive. The reaction to that has swung way too far. It is starting to right itself but the only answer is for courts to ensure fairness in awarding custody and financial considerations.
When this is done your more specific issues will be dealt with. I realize divorces are complicated but can be less so if people enter them with the realization the courts will no longer play favorites by gender either by custody or financial solutions.
You and Amy on the same show? That much awesome in one place should practically be illegal…
It would be interesting to hear the two of you talk about whether the societal shift towards penalizing men in relationships, as opposed to the older model of rewarding men for taking on the responsibility, is causing more men to give up on relationships in general and become slackers.
If you are an attractive, successful male these days, a woman can offer you sex, tell you she is on birth control, when she isn’t, get pregnant, and stick you with the bill for child support, if your relationship sours. On top of that, she can kill your child without anything you can do about it, as long as she does it before it is born.I think the law should be changed. If the mother gets pregnant before she gets married, she should not be able to get court ordered child support from the father, unless she gives the right to veto abortion, to the father. There are two parents. Neither one should have the sole responsibility for the decision about whether or not the child lives. If the mother does not want the baby, but the father does, the child cannot be killed. Once born, the child would become the sole responsibility of ,the father. If the mother wants to keep the baby, and the father doesn’t, then the father should be able to walk away, with no responsibilities. If there is a marriage contract, when pregnancy occurs, then both parents are financially responsible, and parentally responsible.
When sex occurs between unmarried people, there is a reasonable expectation by the man ,that birth control is being used. When someone pays a prostitute for sex, they should be able to assume that no child will be able to be conceived. They are renting space, not purchasing. The marriage contract is for purchasers.
I would like to see you discuss how men are still relegated to traditional roles in relationships. I would just like to add to this issue that, as a man, my romantic dream of having the woman I love drop to one knee and ask me to marry her will most likely never happen unless I specifically ask for that. If women could only imagine what it is like to live in a world where nobody will ever ask you to marry them, they might have a little more sympathy for men.
Re: Abortion rights. Since the woman has the sole right to kill the child for the first nine moneth, perhaps, the man should have the right to kill the child the next nine months. Just adding some sharp perspective……
Inflation is bad for savers and those who have accumulated lots of money. But for the productive sector it is good provided wages and prices match inflation.
It is a transfer of wealth from owners of capital top borrowers. A natural re balancing which offsets excessive charges on the economy by lender’s.
At present we have had inflation in double digits for prices of necessities while wages and benefits for most people have remained static. At the same time interest rates have been kept artificially high and wage inflation low by the RBA and deliberate policy to decrease wage earners share of income. . The worst of both worlds for the majority.