A new study shows that most people have only two good friends:
About 48 percent of participants listed one name, 18 percent listed two, and roughly 29 percent listed more than two names for these close friends. On average, participants had 2.03 confidantes. And just over 4 percent of participants didn’t list any names.
The study asked what the friends did for people such as provide companionship, loan money, give you a place to crash etc. and those with one friend said that their friend would not provide such things. I wonder if people just say that they have friends when what they really have are acquaintances? And what if your spouse is your friend? Does that not count?
Maybe more of us need to read books like How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie if we want friends or Living Alone and Loving It: A Guide to Relishing the Solo Life if we don’t.
Do you think it’s important to have friends?
I think it’s extremely important to have friends. But quality is far more important than quantity. Having one or two close confidantes who are there for you and vice versa over many years is extremely satisfying. Probably more so than “last-rites pals”–those who call an ambulance and fuss over you if you’re in a crisis, but are absent from your life in most other circumstances.
For putting up with my peccadilloes over the span of thirty-eight years, my ‘one’ is my friend, only true friend and love of my life. How she’s managed to stand it for so long is a wonder.
I learned the difference between friend and acquaintance, associate or colleague a long time ago and am always shocked to hear someone refer to a ‘buddy’ and not know his last name.
Friendship has become a far more difficult matter as our world has become ever more complex. The problem of intimacy management, which subsumes not merely the qualifications for forming a friendship but also the obligations that go along with being a friend, is more daunting than it’s ever been. Add to that the terrible compression of our lives as the demands upon us multiply, and you have a blueprint for a society in which friendship is rare…and for some persons, impossible.
Too many people are relying on either their parents, or the government, for everything. So they don’t learn how to be reliable themselves.