Five Ways to Screw Up Your Life with the Internet
One of the odd things about the Internet is that so many people don’t seem to understand that it’s real. Sure, they realize that there’s a computer in front of them, a “series of tubes,” and then…it gets kind of foggy. It’s like they think there are magical pixies from the land of Lulz on the other end, as opposed to their family, friends, co-workers, and old boyfriends who are obsessively poring over their Facebook page.
Granted, they are aware that they do need to be careful about a few things: viruses, hackers, identity thieves, Nigerian princes who want to give them millions of dollars — all the standard stuff. But there are some lesser known dangers of the Internet that can steamroll your life like Paris Hilton stampeding towards a line of cocaine.
1) Upload naked pictures and videos.
You’d be surprised how many people have naked pictures of themselves. Maybe they’re guys like Anthony Weiner who have the mistaken impression that anyone wants to see their junk. Maybe they’re women who get a little excited at the idea of a man seeing them naked. Maybe they’re even a couple who wants to take it to the next level by filming themselves having sex to see if it looks more like a porn movie or two sea lions fighting under a blanket. Whatever the case may be, the problem is that in a digital age, these pictures and videos can get out to a much larger audience than originally intended. Just ask Weiner about that.
Personally, I once had a roommate call me in to look at some woman he’d met online who was trying to turn him on via webcam. I’ve also had more than one guy who broke up with his girlfriend who just flat out offered to show me naked pictures of her. One of them had dated the girl for almost two years. In all of those cases, the offers were completely unsolicited, so who knows how many other people got a look? I could tell you another half dozen disturbing stories about naked pictures (yes, it’s really that common of an issue) — but instead, let me just say this: you’d be surprised at how often those pictures end up causing problems. Think very, very hard before you take those pictures in the first place because once they get out of your control, you’ll never get them back.
2) Have a political blog and a stupid boss.
Ever had someone notice that you were posting on your blog during work hours and report you to your boss? I have. It nearly got me fired. Ever known someone who was fired for even having a blog? There is someone talking about that on my Facebook page on the same day I am writing this column.
That actually happens more than you might think. The Internet’s full of small, vindictive, unbalanced, and ugly people who don’t have the slightest qualms about using any and every tactic imaginable to go after people who irritate them. Does that include calling your boss? Yes, indeed. Could it include calling your boss and making up stories about you? That’s happened to multiple people that I know and it’s why I’d recommend that if possible, you should avoid sharing where you work with everyone on the Internet.
3) Put too much trust in people you don’t know.
I’ve had the opportunity to meet a lot of people in real life that I first met on the net. The good news is that most of them were the same in person as they were on the Internet. However, that’s not always the case. Once, for example, I knew a “woman” whom I talked to occasionally for months. Later, I found out “she” is a guy. I never entirely understood the point of the deception. Another time, a friend of mine was considering moving to spend time with a guy she had a romantic connection with on the Internet. Then, she found out he had a heavy drug habit. Just last week, on my blog, I found out that one of my bloggers is a 4-person collective. And that’s not even getting into scary crazyland, which is inhabited by people like the Craigslist Killer. The point is, it’s very easy to hide a lot of truth about yourself on the Internet. You post what you want people to see, you project the image you want, and it’s very difficult for people to check behind you. Just remember that — before you make any big decisions that you could later come to regret.
4) Post something you’re not comfortable with EVERYONE seeing.
You may think that the only people reading what you write on the Internet are your friends, but that’s not really true. That funny pic of you doing the faux lesbian thing on Facebook when you were drunk? That may not be so funny if your mom somehow sees it. Your quip about how you’d like to kill somebody also might not sound so fantastic if it’s read in a courtroom in front of a judge — and don’t think it could never end up there. The fact of the matter is, unless you really know what you’re doing, all it generally takes is a warrant from the police to track you down. Your weird, inside joke on Twitter that makes you sound like a psycho? That may not look so cute when a woman you’re interested in reads your Twitter feed to get an idea of what you’re like.
Remember, folks, the Internet can be FOREVER and whatever dumb thing you do today may still show up when someone does a Google search for you a decade from now. Here’s a little secret: over the years, I’ve had multiple people write me and ask me to take down unflattering articles at Right Wing News because what I’d written was showing up in Google searches and they were afraid it would affect their chances to get a job. Most of the time, I did it, not because I had to, but because I tend to have some sympathy for ordinary people who get judged for the rest of their lives based on a stupid comment or mistake. However, not only were there times where I declined for whatever reason, there were other times when I Googled the person’s name and found another half dozen different articles covering the same ground. Once you get to that point, you’re screwed because there’s no chance that ALL of those people are going to show you a little mercy.
5) Let the Internet eat up your life.
We’ve heard the most extreme stories. The guy who keeled over dead after playing 50 straight hours of Starcraft. How about the four-month-old who died while his parents were playing World of Warcraft together? The baby who starved to death, ironically, because her parents were online raising a virtual character?
The Internet doesn’t have to get that over-the-top to start impacting your life. I’ve known people who spent so much time talking with their pseudo-friends on different social networks that they ended up killing their real-life friendships. I’ve known people who’ve gotten so into gaming that it has affected their performance at work. Once in my own life, I spent months wasting hours a day playing a game that I’d come to find tedious because I didn’t want to let my online friends down. Don’t let that be you. Use the Internet, but don’t let it use you.
And don’t miss “Five Ways the Internet Is Ruining Our Culture“
It’s still a better way to screw it up than with television. Or with reading, arguably.
Why not project an honest, positive image, and live up to it?
“Why not project an honest, positive image, and live up to it?”
I can’t think of a better way to be hated than to be honest about politics.
I once had an email exchange with a woman who had always been very kind to me. So when she began saying some fairly outrageous things like suggesting we have a threesome with her husband, I was shocked and told her clearly I don’t date married men. This went on for a while becoming progressively more extreme and graphic until I told her to take a cold shower. About ten minutes later, I got the last email–Her husband confessing it had been him all along.
I no longer have a friendship with this woman because how could I ever be sure it was her in emails. No, I never told her about the incident. That’s between her and her dopey husband.
I keep telling people the way to think of the Internet is to think of it as a public library that records everything that goes on within it’s building and keeps it forever. Do not say anything, post anything that you would not feel comfortable doing in such a public forum. There is and will never be privacy on the internet because of the way it works at a fundemental level. If you can keep this simple analogy in mind it should prevent anyone from doing something stupid. That is really the issue. It isn’t what is posted as much as the lack of good judgement that the postings reveal that will haunt you.
Baobo: The first step in dealing with a problem is to acknowledge that you have one. ‘Nuff said?
No, you really didn’t say anything there.
I’ve read where a lot of companies will check out Facebook accounts, etc of prospective hires. Leaving those ‘lost weekend’ pictures posted is not a good idea.
Yes, many young job applicants in particular are surprised to discover the ancients who employ them have access to the internet and use it to check them out.
In highly competitive hiring markets like we have today, even mild fubars can take you off the job list. There are plenty of eager candidates waiting to take your place.
And here’s another common pitfall: Wacky-or-worse email addresses. They’re a BIG red flag to potential employers, and yes, they hamper your chances as a job candidate. If you must be known as BareNakedWinky193 or Dominatrix654 in your private life, set up an alternate account using just your name.
Good advice. But, Its like telling a teenager not to try alcohol.
Having an internet based business is a thrill too.
There’s at least one scam on the internet for every internet connection.
Several of my friends have had their email addresses hijacked and used to send spam all over the world.
If that happens to you, don’t close the account, and give up that address to let the spammers use it at their leisure. Set up a “vacation response” that tells anyone replying to that account that you have been hijacked, and to report the use of the account to their internet service provider. There’s also http://www.uscert.gov that can help catch internet criminals. There you can make reports of hijackings and other criminal internet activity. You can always set up another email account and keep all your contacts informed of your new address.
The internet is a wonderful tool. But, as Mr. Hawkins tries to illustrate; Any tool that’s not used right, can hurt you.
Another article on cybersecurity:
http://www.hoover.org/publications/defining-ideas/article/93736
/sigh/
No, they didn’t get their email addresses “hacked”. They got a virus. That’s all.
It used their email account, and their contact list. It’s really very simple and a lot less dramatic than having their email “hacked”.
Hey; Swifty!
YOU are the one that used the term “hacked”. It shows up 2 times on this page in your remark only!
Take a remedial reading class.
Whatever the magnet, which may be different for different folks, it is powerful and thus addictive and that is the danger. I’ve developed leg and back problems from sitting in one position for more hours than I am prepared to divulge and now use a timer to force myself to get up, walk around, do physical things. The internet can and does do all you accuse it of and more because it offers so much and becomes a security blanket of sorts to which we run when needing to do things we’d sooner postpone. It takes strength, determination and common sense to fight it.
Sound advice. That’s why I do my counterjihad blogging under a nom de guerre, and I don’t update or even view my blog at work, nor do I discuss the blog there, and so on and so forth.
You forgot to mention cyberstalkers and real-life stalkers, who can locate you via the Internet if you aren’t careful.
Nice to see a reflective piece on the medium in PJM. The internet is still evolving and not yet defined. Continual reflection and redefinition is healthy.
I’m of a different generation than the author and I can’t imagine having the kind of “friends” he has. A number of people have invited me to join Facebook over the years including my kids. I have steadfastly declined.
I also refuse to use an e-name and always sign with my given name. I don’t hesitate to make reference to where I live and I’m listed in local directories and easily found. Moreover, I’m not a very temperate fellow and some of the things I say could very well get some loony out there very stirred up. Be not affrighted is the most often repeated prescriptive phrase in the Hebrew Bible and I am not. Personal honor and self-respect trump weaseling behind false identity.
The fact that something written on the internet is indelible and easily recalled from the ether years later does give me pause. Over the years I have said many things I wish I hadn’t. I’ve been racially caustic and borderline racist. I’ve bashed the Catholic church and freely pissed on Mohamed, the Democratic party, Arabs, Turks, Norwegians and a host of individuals far more accomplished and prominent than I am. The blessed American Constitution allows me free speech and I revel in it. Often to later regret. Several times I’ve gone so over the top I’ve felt compelled to follow one or another rant with humble apology.
A strong distinction needs to be recognized–socially and in law–between writing for print and writing for the internet. Publication in print takes time; posting on the internet is instant. The former allows the writer time to kill an offensive comment before publication; the latter affords no such opportunity. Publishing an opinion in print suggests genuine conviction; an opinion posted on the internet carries no such weight. Overheated comments on the internet should be taken with a grain of salt and be no more legally actionable than intemperate speech.
The upside is, of course, that the internet is the freest medium in history. Anybody can pitch in. No credentials required. Shoot your mouth off to your heart’s content. If you’re outraged about something and you think “there aughtta be a law” you can let the world know it.
Best of all, for the first time since the invention of the telephone killed letter-writing, ordinary Americans are expressing themselves in writing again. A general improvement in literacy is inevitable. And that, for reasons too numerous to mention, is very healthy.
I had to deal with a stalker for many years. (There were reasons for not taking drastic steps to get her off my back.) Believe me, if you ever had to deal with such, you will have serious doubts about /EVER/ posting under your real name ever again.
Friends with someone who claims to have hundreds of “friends” now on facebook. We hardly every speak anymore. When we do I hear all about her “friends”. Mind blowing.
posting on your blog during work hours? i would have fired you. no “nearly” about it. no different than stealing office supplies.
And as long as I met my deadlines, didn’t post unflattering things about you or the company, etc., you would continue to serve as Exhibit 1,438,972 of why Dilbert is an operations manual.
Good article. It’s amazing how people don’t understand how exposed (pardon the pun) you are on the internet.
Good points. Thanks! The good still outweighs the bad.
Like everything in life…MODERATION and COMMON SENSE:)
I’m still amazed at what young people put on the Internet. Maybe it’s just because I’m not part of their generation, but I wouldn’t put ANY of the stuff they post on line. And trust me, folks, you would never see my “junk” on the Internet. If you did, you’d all be shouting “Put it on, put it on!”
But really, folks, use a lot of common sense. I have my own blog, but mercifully it has nothing to do with either social networking or politics. It has to do with naval history. And even with something as simple as that, you’d be surprised at the e-mails and comments I get. But I’ve found that if you keep the subject matter simple and to-the-point, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. The Internet is great if you want to get a point across to people. Just remember that anything you put down could be used against you at a later date. If you have no problems with that, then fine. But caution should be your main guide. Always.
You didn’t mention shortcuts you don’t know exist like “send” !!!!!
It’s a lot worse than that I’m afraid. It is a simple matter for any governmental agency, or Google, to build a complex profile from your recorded internet habits. It must be a joy for the fbi, the Chinese government and many others.
“I’ve known people who’ve gotten so into gaming that it has affected their performance at work.”
I hear you. Awhile back, I had to make a choice between:
(1) spending 16 hours a day playing “Call of Duty”.
or
(2) kicking my video game habit and going to work.
I’d tell you how it all worked out, but right now there’s a German machine gun nest I have to knock out.
Don’t worry, maybe soon they will reclassify internet addiction as a medical illness, and you can collect SSI, and get weekly visits to a psychiatrist paid by Obamacare. You are a victim of Big Computer, who forced you to buy a computer with internet access so they can pad their corporate-jet lifestyle. The government can help you: you have all the time to deal with your addiction while on the dole.
THAT was funny. Second thought, maybe not.
It’s sort of funny … and it’s not just the gaming time, either.
There is a company (a pretty good one, too) named Newegg that has made millions because of all the gamer nuts who’ve invested more money than can be imagined in continually upgrading their computers to run games in darkened rooms with walls covered by 70″ LED TV’s with such perfect display flow that they have to use Liquid Nitrogen cooling or run their eat-a-Cray-supercomputer pc’s in oil baths to keep them from going into as critical a meltdown as the reactors at Fukashima.
Toooo funny !!!
One of the rules from the days when science fiction fans communicated by fanzine — self-published magazines — was, “Never write anything in a fanzine you wouldn’t want to read on the front page of the New York Times”. It was good advice when copying involved retyping onto a mimeograph stencil. It’s even better advice now.
re: 8. Andy H
” I’ve developed leg and back problems from sitting in one position for more hours than I am prepared to divulge and now use a timer to force myself to get up, walk around, do physical things. ”
This is very important. Recent articles have suggested that your body shuts down after 4 hours of little or no motion. This can have serious physical consequences. Get up, move around. As a diabetic, being still or moving around will affect my blood sugar. Atrophy of muscles becomes more worrisome the older you are.
I have scooted my exercise bicycle over to the keyboard and peddled while surfing. My solitaire scores seemed to improve while I was pumping more blood through my brain.
Thank you Andy for bringing this up.
Ever had someone notice that you were posting on your blog during work hours and report you to your boss? I have. It nearly got me fired.
As well it should? If I were an employer, the only available Internet access in my workplace would be at computers centrally located and out in the open. I’m amazed (and appalled) at how much time some people who I know have day jobs spend posting on the interwebs on their employers’ time.
Way back in the time machine, the feared Cardinal Richelieu said: If you give me six lines written by the hand of the most honest of men, I will find something in them which will hang him. It would be wise to remember the words of the Cardinal especially in the age of the Internet.
It would be also wise to remember the words of Andria, “moderation in all things, moderation.
I’d be willing to upload my homemade porn videos.
But, do people really want to watch a video of an old guy sleeping in his arm chair and dreaming about stuff that happened 20 years ago?
It’s kinda boring, actually.
FYI, those are elephant seals, not sea lions.
Here’s a little secret: over the years, I’ve had multiple people write me and ask me to take down unflattering articles at Right Wing News because what I’d written was showing up in Google searches and they were afraid it would affect their chances to get a job. Most of the time, I did it, not because I had to, but because I tend to have some sympathy for ordinary people who get judged for the rest of their lives based on a stupid comment or mistake.
I’m still considering restoring the original of a post I edited at the request of someone who then 1) made it part of a dead tree news story and 2) lied about what was there.
I enjoy my internet and I am on it periodically most of the day. I do not play games. I read news, essays, comments and write letters to the editor,and sometimes download a movie. I do not watch TV. It is considerably more convenient that my library. What a wonderful media.
“Your” Internet?
There’s only ONE Internet, and you don’t own it.
Very sound advice! I always tell my students to whatch what they post on their blogs or on Facebook because employers are increasingly internet-savvy and the first thing that they do concerning an applicant is vet ther social media pages. The last thing you want when you apply for your first post-college job is for your propective employer to see those photos of you passed out naked in a bathtub after some all-night party.
That the internet never forgets is demonstrated by your insensitive remark about Paris Hilton. It has been years since I’ve heard a negative story about her but the daily put downs continue. Not to pick nits, but just because she’s a celebrity doesn’t mean she doesn’t have feelings. At the bottom of every celebrity story is a human being. We all have flaws.
not that about your blog!