Ed Driscoll

By Ed Driscoll

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Personally, I’m not sure if this is the most appropriate font for this post:

You have bags under your eyes so big you’d have to check them in at Heathrow Airport

You watch the superbowl just for the commercials

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You can spot bad typography from 100 yds away

You are pro-facebook because 95% of the myspace accounts burn your retinas

You can name more than 200 fonts in under five minutes

You are completely immune to subliminal advertising

You look upon a well-designed project with either:
sympathy OR extreme jealousy

Your hand is permanently stuck in the shape of a mouse

You tell stories of exacto-knife inflicted wounds with grizzled sort of pride

You practically take caffeine intravenously

You have an appreciation for everything unique

You’ve been spending three days non-stop on a project and it still looks like s***. You find yourself overcome by Deathlust.

“You find your pulse increase at the sight of a lovely ligature, glasses steam up when an unusually elegant arm, leg, or tail comes in view, and a well-kerned paragraph is apt to make you break into a sweat with excitement.”

“You know you’re a Graphic Designer when… you buy a CD or DVD for the artwork, even if you have no idea what the actual music or film is like”.
(even worse, you don’t actually watch or listen to it, just stare at it for hours and hug it in adoration)

“You know you’re a Graphic Designer when… you look at the clock and see it’s about midnight and think ‘I’ll go to bed now’… and you actually go to bed about 2-3am”.

“You know you’re a Graphic Designer when… you need someone else to point out that you’re sitting in a room in front of the computer with all the lights off, and haven’t noticed”

“…when you know what “kerning” is and you really, really like it.”

“… when you wear two [ke] [rn] pins on your bag, and only you know what the mean. To others its probably a band of sorts..”

Forget the boy-wonder and the man of steel; your heroes have names like ‘Tibor Kalman’, ‘Stefan Sagmeister’, ‘Paul Rand’, and ‘Paula Scher’.

You don’t wear black to look cool, you wear it to hide the gauche.

You have a thing for chairs. You don’t know why.

Back in the 1990s, I wrote a piece for Modernism magazine on Mies van der Rohe’s pioneering MR10 tubular steel chair (sadly the text isn’t online, but it’s mentioned here), before writing an article on Mies himself for National Review Online. Does that count?

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3 Comments, 3 Threads, 1 Trackbacks

  1. 1. GDI

    WAY too true, thanks for the chortle. Here are a few more:

    You Know You’re a Graphic Designer When You …
    - Think Helvetica is beautifully elegant and Arial is functional but clunky.
    - Talk openly and frequently about PMS (Pantone Matching System) but don’t understand why everyone keeps giving you funny looks.
    - Choose/use fonts to “match the personality” of the targeted reader.
    - Hate Times New Roman with an intensity that will not abate.
    - Spend hours/days searching for THE PERFECT FONT for a specific project.
    - Reject 95% of fonts for perfectly sound reasons (the dot over the lower case “i” is too frivolous or the capital “T” is ugly).
    - Obsess about leading and spend hours tweaking it.
    - See a significant difference between a typeface set at 10 v. 9.5 pts. (Whew. That’s MUCH better!)
    - Know Rubine Red is really pink.
    - Have intense, heated discussions about the merits of Serif v. Sans Serif.
    - Have passionate opinions about blue-red, chinese red, red, tomato red …

    OMG! This list could go on forever …

  2. 2. LS

    - Your favorite color begins with “Pantone…”
    - You grow to loath “spec” work very quickly.
    - Pull your hair out whenever someone mentions the word “PowerPoint”.
    - Your ringtone is the song “Make The Logo Bigger”.

  3. 3. Murgatroyd

    - You fly into a rage when someone gives you a flier printed in Comic Sans or Papyrus.

    (That’s not me, but a friend of mine. On the other hand, I have another graphic designer friend who likes and uses both typefaces. Go figure.)

One Trackback to “‘You Know You’re A Graphic Designer When…’”