“But it is important to remember that one’s external appearance is only one part of one’s self, and one aspect of one’s sex appeal.”
So says Vox Day who has quite a nice post up on women who are past their twenties and wonder if their husband will still find them attractive:
What I think the reader in the Hell of the Formerly Cute is missing is that men tend to possess what can be described as an attractional inertia with regards to the women of their youth. It is hard for us to clearly distinguish between the woman that we are with now and the woman that she was twenty years ago, so long as the changes are not too dramatic and thereby create a cognitive dissonance. Not only that, but the history of a couple’s time together plays a big role, to say nothing of the natural chemistry, which doesn’t necessarily change with age. An objective observer might claim she is not as beautiful as she was when we met, and yet I find her every bit as attractive as I did then, if not more so. It’s not that I can’t see the little changes that age has wrought, but I have to make a conscious effort to notice them. For the most part, I see her simply as who she is, the same slender, pretty blonde that she always has been.
I thought this point that Vox Day made was interesting:
This is why it is so tragic when women, particularly women over thirty, cast aside their husbands in search of something better. Because no matter whom they meet, no one will ever look at them again through love goggles, which like beer goggles, tend to make a man see a woman through a soft and flattering lens as her mythical and eternally youthful self rather than the harsh, objective light of reality.
That is good news for me to hear today as it is my 18th anniversary with my husband Glenn and 22 years that we have been together. However, I must say that there has not been a day that I felt my husband did not find me attractive or care for me. But maybe it’s those love or beer goggles or whatever that Vox Day describes. All I can say is that it’s been quite a journey and I hope it never ends.