Waiting on the GOP

The Democrat Party At Work

Let me pull a Peggy Noonan here and try to get a warm, womanly feel for the mood of the country after the Democrat debate.

Nah, that’s not gonna work. Okay, well, in that case, let me just consult my own opinions and extrapolate by assuming they are shared by all people like me, namely suave, dashingly handsome men of a certain age who would rather discharge a firearm into their big toes than have to watch another Democrat debate.

The winning argument at the debate seemed to me to belong to Hillary Clinton. That argument was this: Barack Obama has done a great job as president and if Hillary is elected she will restore our disastrous economy, help our disintegrating black neighborhoods and bring some order to the bloody chaos in the Middle East by continuing the policies of the last seven years. That these ideas seem to have made sense to anybody at all can only be due to the fact that they were spoken in the presence of Bernie Sanders, who appeared to have escaped from a third-rate Clifford Odets play in order to lead the workers to a shiny new future seventy years in the past.

And the rest of them! Former Rhode Island Governor Lincoln Chaffee looked like he had come straight from playing the lead in the Providence Retirement Home’s production of Peter Pan; former Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley proposed moving to 100 percent clean energy by zzzzzzzzzz; and former Senator Jim Webb discovered that as a patriotic veteran and man of courage and common sense, he was clearly in the wrong party.

So how do I think a majority of American voters reacted to this talking clown car? I think they are waiting for the Republican Party to give them something better. I think they’re waiting for the grownups in the room to start acting like, well, grownups.

And by this, no — a thousand times no — I do not mean we should abandon our principles and cede our party to a feckless GOP establishment that has promised much and delivered nothing. Not in the least. Screw them. But it does mean we should stop mucking around with pseudo-candidates like Donald Trump and Ben Carson and start the process of finding someone the nation’s majority can elect to its highest office.

Trump is a jerk and Carson is as good a man as this good old country has ever produced. Neither one is equipped to be president, and neither one of them can beat Hillary. On what imaginary planet is a boor of a New York builder — a job which largely consists of greasing the wheels of city corruption — going to be able to defeat a seasoned pro like Mrs. Clinton in a debate or at the polls? She’s a crook and a liar, yes she is. She’s also a lifelong professional politician who knows exactly what she’s doing. She will eat the belligerent and ignorant Trump for lunch and spit out his toupee.

And I’m sorry, but the same goes for Carson. This great man has spent his life learning the deep intricacies of the human body in order to serve his fellow man. That’s a wonderful thing. But it’s not the skill set a president needs. If he could cut out our troubles with a scalpel, he’d have my vote, but I don’t think the man knows the first thing about governing or government — or winning against a shark in a pants suit.

I’m not a guy who lives and dies for any one candidate. I believe the Bible when it says (in the Easy to Read translation): “Don’t depend on your leaders for help. Don’t depend on people, because they cannot save you.” I’m not going to stake all on which non-socialist, freedom-defending, pro-American candidate gets our nomination. Rubio, Cruz, Bush, Fiorina. Any one of them could do the job of president, some better in my humble opinion, some worse.

But they’re all pros. They can win. They can govern. We should pick one and get on with it. The country is waiting for us.