While some of you have been wasting your time watching Newt McLovin’ debate the Capitalist Crash Dummy, I’ve been attending to the important business of preparing for the football championships this weekend. First I gather the hops to make the beer. Then I peel and fry the potato chips. Then I place the finished chips snugly in cardboard cylinders. And finally, I prepare my flying Clydesdales to deliver the goodies to little boys and bigger boys across the country. Or maybe I’ll just turn on my TV.
I’m not big on making predictions about anything because I can’t help noticing that people who make predictions are wrong about fifty percent of the time. Obviously, if there’s any justice in the world, Tom Brady and the Pats will destroy the Ravens but there’s not any justice in the world, so who knows? The Ravens are a fine defensive team but seem to have perfected what you’d have to call the Godot Offense in that you wait and wait for it to show up but it never does. The Patriots’ defense is something less than spectacular—or good—but they don’t have to do much besides give Brady some time on the field. Still, on any given Sunday…
The Giants vs San Francisco game is more interesting on paper—but they probably won’t play it on paper because that would be, you know, sort of silly. Forty-niner QB Alex Smith has certainly proved his mettle, and then crammed his mettle down the throats of the home crowds who booed him as a second rater right up until he beat just about every grade A quarterback who made the mistake of coming near him. Eli Manning has to learn that “elite quarterback” is something other people are supposed to say about you, not something you say about yourself. Still, he may have been right, and his team has overcome the injuries that left them short against the niners in November and come together with the sort of timing that makes the angels sing, if the angels happen to be Giants fans.
Since I blogged repeatedly about the inspiring faith and play of Tim Tebow, I should also make a comment about Brady’s evisceration of the Broncos last weekend. I take it as a sign that the Gospels are false and there’s no God. No, I’m kidding. Religion aside, Tebow is one of the most interesting and off-beat players I’ve ever seen. For all the attacks on his style and quarterbacking talent, this is a guy who won two college championships and the Heisman trophy. Yet, it’s undeniable that when he loses, as he lost last week, he barely looks like a professional at all. Even when he wins, he makes me feel like I’m watching some lousy comedy film about an ordinary guy who wins a contest to be an NFL quarterback for a day and then, through a series of hilarious mishaps, leads his team to victory. Well, anyway, the comedy is over for this year, and we’ll see if Tebow can make it happen for real when he returns next season. As I say, I’m not much on making predictions, but I’m betting that, given the chance, Tebow will get better and better and ultimately take a Super Bowl.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get in my sleigh and go to work.