First dates are pretty stressful. You’ve met someone new, someone you find yourself attracted to, and you want to make a good impression. It’s that moment when the whole world is open to you. The other person is like Schrodinger’s Date: at once “the one” and a complete train wreck in the making up until the moment the date starts.
So the site Everyday Feminism has some advice for you.
But it’s not the usual advice about being yourself because any man worth having will respect that, or anything else sane. Nope. They are offering “10 Things Every Intersectional Feminist Should Ask On A First Date.”
Before you ask, no, I’m not completely sure this isn’t satire. Because it seems too awful even for a site like Everyday Feminism.
The column includes awesome advice like interrogating your date about Black Lives Matter and divestment from Israel. Because nothing gets romance started like those topics.
And I understand the desire to find someone who shares some of your opinions, but it’s a first date, so you probably shouldn’t be demanding the person’s exact positions on sex work or illegal immigration.
When my wife and I met, we found out we both love science fiction, Italian food, and Celtic art. We laughed at each other’s jokes and enjoyed each other’s stories.
You know what we didn’t talk about? Politics.
This is from someone who was very into politics at the time, mind you, and we didn’t bother to talk about it. Why? Because unless you don’t know how to talk about anything else, it’s entirely possible to have a relationship where the other party doesn’t completely agree with everything you think.
Look, I get that it can be difficult to be with someone who holds views you find abhorrent. I get that. And that’s not just true for “a queer femme of color” — the descriptors the column’s author uses — but for anyone.
Yet this approach finding a connection in this world, defining yourself as unable to strike a meaningful relationship with someone who isn’t your clone, is a recipe for cruelty, sadness, and loneliness.
And I think that’s the real issue. The writer of this dreck has been brainwashed by her politics to believe she and potential dates have nothing else to offer this world. She’s made herself so one-dimensional that she has no choice but to find someone completely compatible politically. She knows she’s got nothing else right now.
While the column is hysterical, that’s just sad.