It’s getting harder and harder to tell if social justice stories are satire or not. And it’s just about impossible to parody social justice warriors anymore, because any satire you offer up will probably have a college kid somewhere saying “let’s do this.”
This petition reported by Campus Reform could be a bit of clever trolling, though it certainly appears to be real:
An online petition is demanding that Louisiana State University change its “Tigers” mascot, calling the moniker “the most prevalent [C]onfederate symbol in the United States.”
I thought the most prevalent Confederate symbol was, you know, the actual Confederate symbol. The flag. Not an animal native to Southeast Asia:
According to the author of the petition — a user going by the name “LaMallori LSU” — the nickname was chosen by “powerful white males” as an homage to the Confederate “Louisiana Tigers” regiment, whose members “were known for their propensity for violence on and off the battle field [sic].”
“It is incredibly insulting for any African American to have to attend to a school that honors Confederate militantism,” the petition declares. “It is already hard enough to be black at LSU, and these symbols must be changed.”
Almost as an afterthought, the author adds that “it’s also cruel to cage a wild animal for the amusement of privileged white people” who have “never been in a cage!”
I hate to break it to “LaMallori LSU,” but he or she has never been in a cage either. No one alive has ever been a slave in this country, and no one alive has ever owned another human being in this country.
Regardless of the mascot’s origins, the mascot itself has absolutely nothing to do with the Confederacy. It’s a tiger. It actually has a claim on being the least prevalent Confederate symbol.
And this: it’s “cruel to cage a wild animal for the amusement of privileged white people”?
I’m pretty sure black people go to the zoo.
Alarmingly, this petition is fewer than 50 signatures shy of its goal as of this writing. Hundreds of delusional social justice warriors read it and said “let’s do this.”
Those of us who live in the real world are sick of the constant bellyaching about mascots. The Washington Redskins are questionable, but if so, I’m pretty sure La Raza and the “N” in NAACP would have to go, too. Then we have snowflakes complaining that the Iowa Hawkeye mascot looks too angry, and another group complaining that their mascot is a male — a male horse, but a male nonetheless — which oppresses the female athletes.
The LSU Tigers have their own legacy, one devoted to greatness on the athletic field. So get over it, and stop coming up with ways to invent oppression where there isn’t any.