News & Politics

Canadian Police Department Threatens Drunk Drivers with Nickelback

(Rex Features via AP Images)

In a move that could actually popularize waterboarding as a palatable alternative, the Prince Edward Island police department in Canada has threatened drunk drivers with the unthinkable:

A Prince Edward Island police department is threatening to impose the Nickelback treatment on anyone who drinks and drives.

The Kensington Police Service shared a social media post over the weekend promising to force any drunk drivers it arrests to listen to the Alberta band while in the back seat of a cruiser.

“We figure if you are foolish enough to get behind the wheel after drinking, then a little Chad Kroeger and the boys is the perfect gift for you,” Const. Robb Hartlen says on Facebook, alongside a photo of the band’s breakthrough album, Silver Side Up, in what appears to be cassette form.

“So please, let’s not ruin a perfectly good unopened copy of Nickelback. You don’t drink and drive and we won’t make you listen to it.”

The post created two kinds of controversy among commenters: Those offended the police service was making a joke about drunk driving, and Nickelback fans annoyed the band was the butt of the joke.

The article offers no proof whatsoever that Nickelback fans actually exist. If they do, there can’t be that many of them. The reason the joke worked in the first place is because Nickelback is so universally loathed. Nickelback probably hates Nickelback.

As for the controversy over joking about drunk driving, people need to lighten up. There is nothing wrong with using humor to make a point about or highlight something serious. Sometimes it can even be more effective than going negative. It isn’t as if they were glorifying drunk drivers, they were merely making the point that listening to Nickelback is painful.

Because it is.