Not the Babylon Bee: Cafe in Germany Asks Customers to Wear Pool Noodles On Their Heads

Photo from the cafe's FB page.

In an effort to encourage social distancing, a cafe in Germany has asked customers to wear …

I mean … I can’t even believe I’m going to type this out …


Pool noodles.

On their heads.

I can’t imagine how that conversation goes.

Maî​tre d’: How many in your party?

Customer: 3

Maî​tre d’: Excellent. We have a lovely table on the veranda. 

Customer: Great, we’ve been looking forward to this!

Maî​tre d’: Now, we have a strict dress code here at the club.

Customer: Oh, I understand completely. Gotta keep the riff raff out.

Maî​tre d’: Wonderful. Now, just put this on your head …

Customer: What?

We go now to CNN for hard-hitting journalistic analysis of this developing situation:

(CNN) — A cafe in Germany has celebrated its grand reopening to customers after lockdown by handing out pool noodles to maintain social distancing.

Last Saturday the owners of the Cafe Rothe in Schwerin — a town in German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s home state of Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania — were allowed to reopen their doors to visitors after coronavirus restrictions were lifted.

While people enjoyed the company and the weather, the motto at the cafe was: “Keep the social distance.”

Rather than using floor markings and perspex screens to keep people apart, the owners of the cafe distributed straw hats with two colorful swimming noodles attached to the top.

To mark the occasion, owner Jaqueline Rothe posted a photo to the cafe’s Facebook page showing customers sitting at tables with their new headgear on.

“Today it’s like this: distance measurement,” she wrote in the caption.

Rothe, 52, told CNN numerous happy customers flocked to the cafe to enjoy a coffee, cake or a beer in the sunshine.


At least it was just pool noodles, and not hamster balls.

Jeff Reynolds is the author of the book, “Behind the Curtain: Inside the Network of Progressive Billionaires and Their Campaign to Undermine Democracy,” available now at Jeff hosts a podcast at You can follow him on Twitter @ChargerJeff.

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