GOTT IM HIMMEL! IT HAS COME TO THIS: German dog-walking law meets with howls of protest.

Germany is set to outlaw the quick after-dinner walk around the block with the dog.

In draft legislation unveiled this week, dog owners in Germany will need to make sure they walk their canine pet twice a day for at least an hour in total as part of reforms to animal welfare rules.

The aim is to make life better for the country’s millions of house-trained dogs, but not everyone is happy. A commentary in tabloid Bild described the plan as “the most insane idea that a ministry has ever come up with in living memory,” questioning whether such a system is even enforceable.

As a wise woman once wrote:

“Did you really think we want those laws observed?” said Dr. Ferris. “We want them to be broken. You’d better get it straight that it’s not a bunch of boy scouts you’re up against… We’re after power and we mean it… There’s no way to rule innocent men. The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren’t enough criminals one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws. Who wants a nation of law-abiding citizens? What’s there in that for anyone? But just pass the kind of laws that can neither be observed nor enforced or objectively interpreted – and you create a nation of law-breakers – and then you cash in on guilt. Now that’s the system, Mr. Reardon, that’s the game, and once you understand it, you’ll be much easier to deal with.”

Plus, it is the Germans after all: