EVERYONE IS CONSERVATIVE ABOUT WHAT HE KNOWS BEST: Communism dies at Current Affairs.

Cockburn understands the appeal of communism. There are times when even he has dreamt of holding property in common — that ill-fated purchase of a timeshare in Cancun, for instance. So he understands the plight of the young idealists at Current Affairs, a magazine founded in 2016 with the mission to ‘help usher in a glorious era of democratic socialism’.

Like the Soviet Union under Stalin, Current Affairs is the private kingdom of one man, in this case the dandy communist Nathan Robinson. For five years, Robinson has been all over Current Affairs like a cheap suit, while a small team of deluded volunteers has labored in his salt mine, generating content for the greater glory of the revolution, and their leader, the Potemkin page-turner. But even five-year plans go awry.

Lyta Gold, who was hired to generate ‘Amusements’, is not amused. Gold claims that when the staff attempted to form a workers’ co-operative, Robinson fired them all. Current Affairs, Robinson told them in a now-leaked email, could no longer be an ‘egalitarian community of friends’. He’s the Maximum Leader. Disagree, and you get the Trotsky retirement package — an ice-pick to the cranium.

Heh, indeed. Read the whole thing, comrade.

(Classical reference in headline via Robert Conquest, although the line by Kingley Amis, attributed to Conquest to accompany a new edition of his Soviet history, The Great Terror, “I told you so, you f**king fools,” works as well.)