July 17, 2019

AND SPEAKING OF NUKING THE MOON (PUT ANOTHER PUPPY IN THE BLENDER, BOSS! IT’S CELEBRATION TIME!*), MY FRIEND FRANK J. FLEMING HAS A NEW BOOK OUT:  Hellbender.

Doug wasn’t sure whether he should trust Satan.

The red flag was that he said he was Satan. But the deal was good: Listen to Satan’s story in exchange for some donuts. And Doug only half-fulfilled his part of the bargain.

But maybe he should have listened better, because during his friend Bryce’s next scheme (theft with light to moderate treason—the usual), Doug and the rest of his friends—Lulu (the fun one) and Charlene (the not fun one)—end up with a powerful artifact, a small metal cube with world-ending power that Lulu decorated with bunnies. And now everyone wants the bunny cube, which means Doug, Bryce, Lulu, and Charlene are being pursued by an insane supermodel general, an army of sadists, a vast criminal organization, a smaller, more-in-startup-mode criminal organization, and an unstoppable killing machine—the worst kind of killing machine.

Doug and his friends may be a bunch of losers who aren’t particularly smart or good at anything, but they have one thing going for them: a really cool name for their mercenary group. And now it’s up to Hellbender to save the world—well, what’s left of it. It’s pretty ruined and war-torn already. But, you know, they live there, so they kind of need it.

It’s a mess, but that’s what you get for listening to Satan. Or half-listening.

*For those who are new to the world of blogs. No puppies were harmed in making this post. It’s a very old joke between Frank J. Fleming’s IMAO and instapundit involving the world’s cheesiest photoshop.
It’s puerile and therefore, of course, appeals to me. Now stop gawking at me and go buy Frank’s book.

ALSO get off my lawn!

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