HIGHER EDUCATION BUBBLE UPDATE, JUST MAKING STUFF UP EDITION: The increasingly absurd Marquette University has reportedly banned “proselytizing” on its campus, but if you think that means “inducing someone to convert to your faith,” slow down, Captain Dictionary. In other news, Marquette has also determined that objects moving in the approximate direction of a vector originating at the center of the earth and aiming outward into space shall be described as “falling,” because why not?