AMELIA HAMILTON: What Marrying a Pirate Ghost Teaches Us About Modern Relationships.

In 2014, a North Irish woman named Amanda felt the ghost of Jack Teague, an 18th-century pirate appear and, as they spent more together, she developed “strong loving feelings.” Before long, they began a romance. I know, what a cliche, right? They dated for several years and then he proposed. “One day he said to me ‘We can actually be together you know’ but I had never heard of an intimate relationship between a spirit and a human before.” Same. She says sex is pretty much the same as it is with a physically present person, too. In fact, that’s why they tied the knot. “I told him I wasn’t really cool with having casual sex with a spirit and I wanted us to make a proper commitment to each other.” So, she sailed into international waters with a registrar, a shaman priest, and a medium so that they could be legally married. Now, the two are co-writing a book about spiritual relationships so that more people can share their bliss. Amanda says “He is my soulmate. I am so happy, it is the perfect kind of relationship for me. There are a lot of people out there who don’t know about spiritual relationships, but it could be right for them – I want to get the message out there.”

We are in a place in history where we are to act as though this is fine, rather than a cry for help and a clear sign that this woman requires some kind of intervention. Whatever a person says makes them happy, right? Mrs. Teague is a divorced mother of five. Have these kids ever seen a healthy relationship modeled by anyone? Like many, maybe they have not. One has to wonder if she was longing for a connection but found that being married to a spirit is far less of a risk that meeting a living, breathing man. The answer to that is “yes,” by the way. Obviously “yes.”

“Yes,” but — these are Heinlein’s Crazy Years.