April 6, 2017

WELL, IF SHE IDENTIFIES AS A MERMAID, ONLY A BIGOT WOULD ARGUE WITH HER: Woman walking around naked claims she’s a mermaid.

A woman with webbed toes identified herself as a mermaid named Joanna after she was found mostly naked and walking along a dark road in the middle of the night in Fresno County.

The young brunette was wearing only a black sports bra and had wet hair when cops found her near Millterton Road and Brighton Crest Drive in Friant around 3:15 a.m. Tuesday, the Fresno Bee reported.

She told cops she was a mermaid who’d just been in the water. But she answered “I don’t know” to most of their questions.

“She was wet. She said she had been in the lake, said she needed help and needed to be taken to the hospital,” Fresno Police Lt. Mark Hudson told YourCentralValley.com. “We did go through records after fingerprinting her and we still did not come up with her identity.” . . .

“There are some strange things that happen up here,” said neighbor Karon Renwick. “We’re in the mountains.”

That’s where you usually look for mermaids, the mountains. There’s probably a BLUE HADES reference here somewhere.