I LIKE MY NEIGHBORS, BUT I WOULDN’T MIND A NEIGHBOR LIKE THIS: Ex-Army Sniper Takes Out Neighbor’s Home Intruder From Bedroom Window.

It would save the trouble of having Helen shoot them. As our daughter told one of her cousins years ago, “If someone broke in, Daddy would shoot them because that’s the thing to do. But Mommy would shoot them because she wanted to.”

UPDATE: According to Snopes, this story is a hoax. The one about the Insta-wife, however, is entirely true.