June 6, 2016

WE’RE LIVING IN A YEAR WHEN THIS HEADLINE IS PERFECTLY COMPREHENSIBLE: Demon god Cthulhu seen as possible third-party candidate.

“Cthulhu has been running for the presidency throughout the decades in one form or another. Most Americans think it as a joke,” said Samir al-Azrad, press secretary for Cthulhu for America, in an email interview with the Washington Examiner. “And indeed, in more ‘civilized’ times, humanity has been mostly uninterested in the glory of a Cthulhu-driven apocalypse. But 2016 is turning out to be an excellent year to bring the word of Cthulhu to the masses.”

Honestly, if I were Cthulhu, I’d look at 2016 and stay home.

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