November 18, 2015
METAPHOR ALERT: Vanderbilt Hate Crime Turns Out To Be Blind Girl’s Dog’s Poop.
Hello, you go to a top twenty school. Do PC bros not do grammar now? But more importantly, “As many of us sit in grief..” Oh give me a fucking break. It was a bag of poop left on the stairs outside. This left you grief stricken?
The post went viral with all the liberal media — PC BRO RACISM ALERT, THERE’S POOP ON CAMPUS STEPS — and an investigation into the bag of poop ensued.
Yep, an investigation by Vandy police. (To be fair, this is the most important investigation the Vandy police have been involved in investigating by themselves since a Kappa Delta sorority girl left her hazards on too long unloading Nordstrom bags outside the sorority house).
Who was the horrible racist who left dog poop on campus steps?
Well, it turns out that it was a blind female student whose seeing eye dog pooped on campus and she couldn’t find a trash can.
Vandy cry-bullies, we’re not laughing with you. We’re laughing at you.