October 30, 2015

CHIEF OPERATING OFFICER LEAVES JEB BUSH CAMPAIGN: The highest-ranking official known to lose her job in Jeb Bush’s flagging campaign is Christine Ciccone, the campaign’s chief operating officer, the Wall Street Journal reported earlier this afternoon:

News of Ms. Ciccone’s departure comes a week after the Bush campaign announced a re-organization that it said would reduce payroll by 40%. Ms. Ciccone served as Mr. Bush’s chief operating officer, effectively an office administrator responsible for logistics.

“We are grateful to have had Christine on the team, we respect her immensely,” Bush spokesman Tim Miller said.

Ms. Ciccone was paid roughly $12,000 a month, the equivalent of a $144,000 annual salary, according to the campaign’s most recent Federal Election Commission filling. Reached by phone Friday, Ms. Ciccone said “I’ve got no comment. I’ve just got to go.”

Yesterday, Richocet’s Jon Gabriel rewrote the benchmark Monty Python sketch and quipped, “Look, matey, I know a dead campaign when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now:”

Super PAC manager: No, no, he’s not dead, he’s, he’s restin’! Remarkable candidate, the Establishment Blue, idn’it, ay? Beautiful pedigree!

Donor: The pedigree don’t enter into it. It’s stone dead.

Super PAC manager: Nononono, no, no! He’s restin’!

Donor: All right then, if he’s restin’, I’ll wake him up! (shouting at the debate lectern) Hello, Mister Florida Governor! I’ve got a lovely fresh check for you if you show…

(Super PAC manager kicks the lectern)

Super PAC manager: There, he moved!

Donor: No, he didn’t, that was you hitting the lectern!

Super PAC manager: I never!

Donor: Yes, you did!

Super PAC manager: I never, never did anything…

Donor: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) Hello Jebby! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your three a.m. phone call!

(Takes candidate and thumps head on the lectern. Pushes him toward Marco Rubio and watches him fall face-first on the floor.)

Donor: Now that’s what I call a dead campaign.

Super PAC manager: No, no … No, he’s stunned!

Donor: Stunned?!

Super PAC manager: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin’ up! Establishment Blues stun easily, major.

Donor: Um … now look, mate, I’ve definitely had enough of this. That campaign is definitely deceased, and when I funded it not three months ago, you assured me that his total lack of grassroots support was due to him being tired and shagged out following a prolonged policy conference.

Super PAC manager: Well, he’s … he’s, ah … probably pining for the Everglades.

(Serious) Exit question via Mark Krikorian: “Is it better for Jeb to bow out gracefully now, or spend millions weakening Rubio so Cruz has a better shot at winning in the end?”

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